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I would tell DH either he starts walking the dog or taking him out to play to tire him out or the dog has to go. If the dog is tired from a walk by the time you get home, he should be able to focus on a 15 minute training session with you and I'm sure he can get back on track. That way you're both contributing to keeping the dog home, but if DH doesn't understand that he has to contribute then he really shouldn't have the final say in what you guys do with the dog. Good luck :(
Aw what a sad situation. I have two opinions... If you can afford it and your SO has time, you should invest in obediance training! It would really bond the two and if your SO loves the pup so much, he should want to do it. They can be super convenient, like one night a week for 6 weeks. Of course, the issue is money. Obediance training isn't cheap!
But if you can't do that, I'd give the dog up. The longer he gets away with jumping on people, etc, the more he thinks it's okay and normal, and then he may hurt someone. A household with a big yard and active petowners (meaning they walk him and train him and such) would provide the constant reinforcement and energy release a bigger dog needs.
Just so you know, this happens all the time. Some dogs are just not the right fit for a family, and it's not your fault you had to get a job suddenly!
I hope it all works out for you!
It's sounds like he is bored and needs more exercise.
My philosophy is a tired dog is a happy dog. If you want to keep the dog you and your DH are going to have to get on the same page and work out his exercise schedule. With you both working he should at least be taken for a 20-30 minute walk in the morning and a 20-30 minute walk in the evening. Taking him out for a free run (at a dog park, or fetch off the leash, or a romp through the forest etc.) every now and then is even better.
I would also start initiating NILF training. NILF stands for Nothing in life is free and for this the dog has to do "a trick"( sit and stay) for EVERYTHING. Including any food, going outside, coming inside, playing etc. I would also stop feeding your dog any human food as he doesn't respect your daughter and snatches food from her. If you must feed him human food he should be fed at his dish with him sitting first so that he doesn't beg.
Most of these training tips (other than the exercise) can be implemented easily into your everyday life but EVERYONE in the house has to be on board and consistent with the training.
Good Luck!
Obedience training is a good idea, a class around here is usually around $100 for 6-8 weeks. If the funds are there, maybe take him to doggie daycare one or two days a week to burn off some of that energy? How about teaching him to use a treadmill at home if you have one?
As far as snatching the food and such, I would google NILF (nothing in life is free) and implement that if you can. It basically just reinforces that you are the leader in the house and makes the dog have to work for everything, which is good for mental stimulation too IMO.
@Future Mrs. Martin: Totally agree with this!
I agree with FutureMrs. Martin- I find myself using that saying a lot.
Can you get us early in the morning and walk the dog before work. I know it's hard, but if you regularly get up at 6, try 5 and take the dog for a walk. Tire him out before you leave for the day. And if your DH wants to keep the dog then he really needs to step up to the plate. He needs to take care of the dog when he gets home. Even taking him down the park for 20 mins to work on some commands or leash walking. This usually tires puppies out because they are thinking alot.
If you can afford 1-2 days a week of doggie day car, then that could help tire the dog out.
Does your dog swim at all? We have an indoor place to take dogs swimming where we live. They do water therapy for dogs, but also allow you to just play fetch or whatever you want. We took our dogs here, as our one had surgery and it was used as therapy (and he hates water, but we used a leash and got him to swim laps). Swimming really tires them out, and if they like to fetch, then it's a lot of fun to do as a family.
Getting up early is good, or even staying up later. DH and I have been taking our boys out to play in the island out front with a training dummy and a laser pointer. It's not fenced in, and they do not always listen, but we found with the laser pointer they are quick to respond - makes me feel better having it since I can get their attention if needed. We run the dogs out there for 20-30 minutes each night after dark, and sometimes another neighbor comes out to join us. It's a blast, and we usually end up with a tired dog.
What kind of dog? On of my dogs is a chronic mouther. Sometimes it's just something they have. Exercise will help out a lot. Your SO needs to be willing to put forth the effort if he wants to keep him. I have 2 "problem" dogs. We do a 15 minute training session daily just so they don't lose it. We also take 1-2 walks per day for anywhere from 15-60 min depending on the weather.
Dogs have to be exercised or they become destructive and just bad haha. I agree with the indoor swimming idea... if your dog likes water!
I know it's hard to get home and work more with a dog at night... So I am not trying to be mean. There are some days it's the last thing I was to do! At one point my dog had to be on a leash 24/7 whenever I was home just for trainging purposes! It was horrible!
But being your dog is still a puppy you can work past this! I promise. Also the stealing food needs to be corrected right away! But that will go away. Jumpng just put your knee up... don't knee him just put you knee up and he will give up after awhile because it's uncomfortable. Also, have him on a leash when people come over... or give him a treat (like a chewy granola bone)to distract him so when he's done the guest has been there for awhile and he is calmer.
Good Luck!
The problem is not just with you, or just with the dog. It's everybody.
The dog knows things have changed, and he's upset about it. Dogs tend to express that in annoying ways, as far as humans are concerned.
He IS smart. He's smart enough that he's figured out what he can get away with when the main master (as far as he's concerned) is out of the house. He's basically taking advantage of everyone.THIS is what you need to change. It's the same thing as naughty little Suzie asking grandma for a cookie, when mom hasn't told grandma that Suzie can't have cookies. Suzie knows darn well that grandma doesn't know the rules, so she can break them all she wants until she goes back to mom's. That's why a mom will usually tell grandma about any no-cookie rules before she leaves.
The dog is training everyone else in your family right now, because they're all letting him get away with it, and they don't even know it. That's how smart your dog is. He's totally playing everyone.
If EVERYBODY trains and treats the dog EXACTLY the same way that you do, he'll soon learn that if you don't tolerate something, neither will anybody else. He needs to learn that he is NOT the leader when you aren't there. Right now, in his mind, the dog is #1 when you're gone.
If you make him sit when he gets too excited, then everybody else needs to make him sit, in exactly the same way, with exactly the same command. If you give him a certain distraction to prevent bad behaviour... everybody else needs to give him that same exact distraction, in the same exact way. If he gets praise for doing something good, everybody needs to give him praise for doing that action. Everybody needs to be 100% clear on what is and is not tolerated, and all act identical about it. Make a chart everyone can read, if it's too hard to get everyone to memorize. The smallest child can control any trained dog, as long as they do so in the exact way the dog is trained to expect.
And yes, the walk issue needs to be addressed. If nobody has time to walk the dog, then the dog needs to go where people do have time to take care of his basic needs. And if you're paying someone to do it for you, that person also needs to know exactly how you're training him.
My dog is a chihuahua. You wouldn't believe how much she can control another human when I'm out of the room, if she wants to, and I haven't told my guests not to give her the entire steak off their plate. But she won't dare if I'm sitting across the room.
The trainer from our class told us that dogs will continually test you as your bond grows and changes. It seems like that's what is happening. Your dog has noticed a change and is testing his boundaries in this new situation.
Both my husband and I work full-time and are involved in other activities outside of the home, so I understand how difficult it can be to find the time to give the dog what it needs. We switch off a lot. I have more time in the morning before work so I give her a 30 min walk every weekday morning. Honestly, for an active breed like we have, I don't think these walks phase her much physically. I try to use them as an opportunity for training and getting good behavior out of her. My husband gets home a little earlier than I do, so he will take her for 30 min to an hour to play somewhere: either the dog park, or an empty fenced lot to play fetch. She also has a doggie playmate (one of our neighbor's dogs) that we sometimes meet up with in an empty fenced lot. This is when she really gets her energy out and can run free. For the past couple of months, she has class every Saturday morning at the SPCA which also uses up a lot of mental and physical energy.
If my husband or I can't get her out to play during the week, we all suffer for it. She will start displaying a lot of the behaviors you are describing like the nibbling and jumping. But if we have a particularly busy day or it's pouring rain and we just can't make it happen, we will give her a bully stick or a kong. These items make her work for the treat so they are an outlet for mental and physical energy.
Training is more scattered throughout the day. I bring treats on our walks and make her do things for them and my husband brings them when he takes her out. We make her do commands for her meals and for toys at home. It's a continuous thing.
Anyway I hoped some of this helped. We've only had her a few months and are still learning and adjusting ourselves, but this has been my experience!
I love all of your suggestions and insights. I've started using some of them already -- implementing NILF everywhere I can, and I took him for a walk today and brought treats and practiced commands with him. He did really well! And now he's fast asleep :) I am going to take all of your ideas to SO and talk to him about it and see what sort of routine and rules we can agree on. I really hope I can get him on board with me. I think your comments and ideas will help a lot. Thank you all so much!
You've gotten some great advice-- all I can do is second everything everyone else has said! I'm glad it's working so well.
I do want to add, however, that your SO needs to be involved. If this is a family dog, and he was the one wanting to keep it, he has to put in some work. You're not the parent taking care of your child's pet!
Could you hire a dog walker to take him out once during your work day?
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In May, we brought home a 2-month-old puppy. I was a SAHM, and I handled most of his training and care. He's such a quick learner and did really well in his puppy classes. His trainer told me he had the perfect temperament for a therapy dog, which was something I really wanted to pursue.
Then, late summer, our financial situation changed unexpectedly, and I had to find a job. I've been working since late August, and his behavior has changed so much. It's like he's a different dog. He's mouthy -- like, his teeth will leave marks and imprints, and, recently, a scratch on my daughter's leg. Maybe that doesn't sound like much, but what if, next time, it's more than a scratch? He jumps on people (and he's 50 pounds with a pair of spring-loaded kangaroo hind legs, so that's no joke). He jumped on my mom and scraped his teeth on her face. She's terrified of him now. He snatches food from my daughter's hands. He gets on the furniture. All these things he never did when I was at home caring for him properly. It breaks my heart.
I know it's our fault for not keeping up with his training and teaching him proper behaviors. With my job and SO's irregular work hours, there just seems to be no time left in the day for him. Even his daily walk usually gets shunted. It's terrible.
I brought up to SO that I think it would be best for pup to find him a home where his family will have adequate time for him, but SO won't hear it. Pup is his buddy and he loves him too much to give him up, but he doesn't seem to want to put in the time to correct his behaviors, either. He won't even take him on a walk when he gets home from work, even though he actually does have ample time to do so.
Bees, what would you do? I'm heartsick over this. I wish I could just go back to being a SAHM and be able to give him the attention he needs. I love the little guy, too, but I want what's best for him, and I'm afraid that, if his behavior continues to deteriorate, he's gonna hurt someone. I know he can be so much better than that if given the proper attention and training, and he's just not getting that with us.