I don't know what happened and I can't get over it…

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lostandconfused:  first of all. IT IS NOT YOUR FAULT

no matter how drunk you are it doesn’t give someone the right to do that to you.

i dont have an answer as to what happened but my guess is something more happened and you probably had something put in your drink. 

iM sorry this happened to you but honestly I’d press charges. It’s not too late 

Post # 5
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lostandconfused:  I thank god I don’t know the man who raped me because if I did I would be in jail. 

No one else was present during tHis undressing business That would help put the pieces together?

Post # 7
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lostandconfused:  I’d suggest therapy, Hun. 

That’s really the only thing that helps 

Post # 9
Member
2063 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

@lostandconfused:  just start from the beginning. 

Its hard to not blame yourself but I promise you it’s not your fault. Plenty people drink and don’t get raped because it takes a rapist for that to happen. I don’t buy your exs story at all. 

Post # 10
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

There is no wrong way to start the conversation with the therapist and the way you suggested is just fine. I think you’re taking the right approach, hope you’re feeling better about this soon!

Post # 12
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@lostandconfused:  First of all, I’m so sorry for what you’re going through! You’re doing the right thing by getting help. Don’t worry about what to say – just tell it like you’ve written on the Bee! Or write it down and have your counselor read your story if it makes it easier for you, I’m sure they’ll understand. 

And please, please, don’t blame yourself. I understand that you want to take responsibility for your own actions, but I could swear that someone spiked your drink that night. That is NOT YOUR FAULT! Your only “crime” was trusting the wrong people – which, at 23, is completely normal, IMO. When you’re not a dirtbag yourself, it simply does not occur to you that other people are!  

I hope your conselor helps you find a way to get through this. (((hugs)))  

Post # 14
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@lostandconfused:  Sweetheart, you are definitely not being stupid. At all. Yes, I think there is a very strong possibility you were given something and that you were raped. But please, please stop blaming yourself for what happened that night. You were with a group of friends. You felt safe. You didn’t do anything that millions of people don’t do every single weekend. If that guy and /or your ex conspired to drug and rape you then they and they alone are the guilty parties, not you.

Im so sorry you’re going through this. Stop feeling silly. You shouldn’t.

Post # 16
Member
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think a professional could probably help you more than we can. Just know it wasn’t your fault.. and I think it’s admirable you’ve since taken steps to protect yourself from something like this happening again. You can never be too careful and I am the same way.

Have you told your FI about this (sorry if I missed it)? If you haven’t I think you probably should.. I always feel better when I don’t bottle stuff up.

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