I don't know what to do…..

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1884 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@runningshoesareon:  have you flat out told him how you feel? In the exact words you used here? If not, I think it might be time to let him know your relationship is in emergency crisis mode. 

Post # 4
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@runningshoesareon:  Are you married? Have you said the words (not hinted arounds), “I dont feel important to you. This is how you can make me feel important, by doing X, Y and Z”

Post # 6
Member
112 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Always trust yourself and your instincts. If something feels wrong, you need to address it. Hang in there. You will be ok!

Post # 7
Member
5839 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

@runningshoesareon:  If he catches you crying and you arent ready to talk about it, just tell him you are reading something online that is making you cry.

1) you owe it to him to be very honest about how you are feeling. Make sure you dont make it all about this one night. Give him many examples of how things arent working.

2) if he is willing to go to therapy and work on things, please post-pone your wedding. You dont need a deadline breathing down your neck. Many vendors will allow you to use your deposit if you rebook within a certain time frame. 

3) if he tells you that you are crazy, needy, high-maintanence, etc. Then walk away. It will hurt, but you will survive and be stronger for it.

 

Post # 8
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@runningshoesareon:  I think walking away (at least for now) seems to be the right thing. He knows you’re unhappy, I’m sure. But seems not to care? Maybe he’s fine with living life this way, but are you?! Something should definitely be done.

Post # 9
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@runningshoesareon:  you need to tell him what you have said here. And be crystal clear that you feel the relationship is in crises. Then, make an appointment to see a marriage counselor to help you both.

Good luck.

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