- 8 years ago
- Wedding: November 2010
A week ago, fFIL had a stroke. He’s stable, in hospital now and doing therapy with the goal of getting to our wedding which is a 4 hour flight away in Fiance and my hometown. Our wedding is next month (I wrote in a fake date so that people I know won’t find me).
Fiance is an only child and FI’s parents’ pretty much one and only dream has always been to see their son get married.
At this stage we don’t know if fFIL will be well enough to get on the plane.
We have a two week window where we don’t need to make any decisions, but come mid-September, we will need to decide whether to cancel our venues and hold a fairly impromptu ceremony in fFIL’s hometown.
The problem with this is that our RSVPs are in, and we have guests travelling in to our wedding destination (FI and I’s current hometown). Also, with this short notice, I doubt that many of my family and friends will make it to a wedding if it’s held in fFIL’s hometown.
So I’m looking at either having our ceremony as planned and feeling guilty because FI’s parents won’t be there, or moving my ceremony and living with the fact that many of my own friends/family won’t be there. Or possibly cancelling our actual ceremony in favour of just holding a reception/party in my current venue.
fMIL is campaigning strongly for us to move our venue. My parents are saying to wait and see and that we should still have the ceremony where we planned, though probably with a skype connection so that FI’s parents see it even if they cannot be physically present. This seems like an awful outcome for Fiance too.
I was and still am willing to have a tiny, intimate marriage ceremony in fFIL’s hometown (just a simple white dress as opposed to the whole shebang) followed by a vow exchange in my own hometown (including the whole shebang as everything’s booked/bought already). fMIL is opposed to this and thinks that fFIL would prefer to see his son get married in a ‘big shebang’ wedding. I think she’s asking for too much at this stage–if she’s pulling me away from my friends and family and then demanding a wedding on their terms.
It’s a horrible situation all ’round. No matter what, someone will be disappointed, unless I am missing a better possibility.
Any advice? It’s early days yet–fFIL might actually be mobile by the time our wedding rolls around–but I need to get this off my chest.