Post # 1
How terrible is it that I’m so irritated with one of my bridesmaids sometimes I wish I had never asked her to stand up with me. She has been completely unsupportive, completely thoughtless, and when she does finally ask me to hang out the plans change about six times before she commits to anything.
Why is it that whenever I email about something wedding related she never responds? Why can’t she ever ask how plans are going and see if I want to work on it together? I can’t ask her to do anything because I know she wouldn’t respond or she’d be busy. She ignores texts/calls. I left a work jacket at her house the other week and she never responded to it being there even though I know it is. I’m not just going to barge over there and demand it but I want it, it’s the nicest one I have. Anytime I do talk about wedding planning she asks who the MOH but I decided I’m not having one. A couple of weeks ago FI said in front of her “Are you still planning on having a MOH or not?” When I said no, she said “Awww, did you guys fight over me?”
I don’t understand. I know I probably should’ve given it more thought before deciding to ask her to stand up. But at the time she seemed like she would be a good choice. I just don’t know what to do about all of this. She was supposed to do my hair for the big day and I since decided I want someone else to do it. I’m still debating how to tell her this but I don’t need that extra stress in my life.
Does anyone have any advice before I pull my hair out though? I have talked to her about my feelings when I first asked her to be my bridesmaid. She told me at the time that I needed to let our friendship grow on its own and stop pushing it. Or something like that. It just kinda hurt my feelings but I thought maybe she thought we weren’t the same personalities. (Which we aren’t)
Post # 3
i wouldnt get too worked up about it – as long as she has her dress and shows up the day of that is all you can really ask for.
i have 5 amazing bridesmaids who i looooove to death but honestly i havent had any help from any of them – but i dont expect it either – they are great friends and will be there for me on my big day and that, to me, is all that matters.
i would just make sure she does the basics and leave her out of the rest of it…you dont need the stress 🙂
Post # 4
@totheislnds: I’m pretty much over expecting help from them. Only one has helped me with anything and that’s nice. But like last night I was out looking at invites I and could’ve really used the help but I knew she wouldn’t be there for me so I didn’t bother.
Post # 5
You’re wedding is 11 months away, right? I honestly wouldn’t worry about it quite yet. People can be mean and thoughtless sometimes without realizing it. But when it actually comes down to planning your wedding events, see if she comes around. For now, I’d just cool it on the wedding talk around her – make her curious about the details by not mentioning them.
Post # 6
I agree with everyone. I had a similar situation with one of my bridesmaids. And it had nothing to do with me….she told me that though she was happy for me it made her realize how far away she is from getting married herself. So I cooled the wedding talk around her and about 6 months in she started asking questions and getting more excited.
But I would definitely let her know you don’t want her to do your hair. Either tell her you’ve decided to go with a professional, or just tell her that you don’t want her to be stressed so you’re going to ask someone not in the wedding.
Post # 7
@april30: I decided I’m going to tell her that I was worried I had asked her to do too many things so she wouldn’t think it was against her directly or whatever. She’s married so I’m not sure what her issue is but it’s so frustrating.