(Closed) I don't know what to do (long)

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
1614 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would cancel the last few payments on the car & move ASAP. I’m so sorry for what you are going through and I wish you the best of luck. I’m sorry I can’t be of much help. 

Post # 4
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Is your name on the car at all? Collect the paper trail on all of your payments (car, tags, etc) and seek legal counsel. If you can’t keep the car you may be able to be reimbursed for payments if you don’t have any car rental agreement on paper. 

Can you move in with your fiancé? Creating stability for your kid should be a priority. Can you rent/lease a car in the short term? Are there Zipcars in the area?

Don’t try to reason with crazy. She probably won’t ever tell you what you did and, even if she did tell you what you “did,” you probably couldn’t “fix” whatever slight you did. 

Post # 5
Member
734 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

It sounds like your mom has a lot of issues and isn’t exactly mentally stable. I don’t think there is a “reason” why she is doing this other than she just isn’t balanced.

Is there any way your fiance can help you? Can you stay with him? It sounds like you’re going to have to get a new car, unfortunately. =/

I’m sorry this has happened to you… besides asking if your fiance or your dad can help you I’m not sure what you need to do. Somehow you do need to get a car though. Your situation sounds rough. =/

Post # 6
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I agree with dolldancer8, cancel the payments of the car and move out, rent a room or share a flat for sometime, maybe your fiance has some ideas? 

I don’t know what to tell you because I can’t imagine being in your situation, but seriously, your daughter must be 1st priority and that home… well is not a home! Come on… your mother is being very childish.

Keep us updated.

Post # 7
Member
1306 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

If I were you I woul call you ex and see if your daughter can stay with him until the dust settles between you and your mom.

Ask your FI for help findong a new place and a car.

Get out of your mom’s house. She seems very unstable. Stop making payments on the car. Limit your contact with her once you leave.

Post # 8
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Is there any way your mother could be bi-polar? Or suffer from severe depression or anything like that? It seems to me like she just snapped out of nowhere which isn’t exactly normal. 🙁

In the case that she may have some sort of mental illness that has been left untreated, I would try your best to find a cheap hotel to move your family into until things can be sorted out because it just isn’t safe to leave your daughter in your mothers home if she is being rude to her for no reason. That could escalate quickly and its best to avoid all that drama.

Hang in there and try not to infuriate your mother. If she does have a mental illness, it’s best not to make her even more angry because she may do something that is completely out of her control due to an undiagnosed illness. 

Post # 10
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I would be willing to bet that you did nothing wrong, and if you did, she’s handling it poorly by being unwilling to discuss it.

Would it be possible to borrow another car, or rent one? As pp’s have said, cancel the last car payment. Would it be possible to stay with your fiance, or a friend? If your daughter is being treated badly then getting out of there is priority #1.

Honestly, I went through a similar situation with FH and his mother years ago when we moved in together. She made the last few days of living in her house unbearable, then stopped talking to us once we moved out for a long time, yet she had made it very clear that she wanted us to move out. Who knows why people behave like that? It’s her issue though, not yours.

If there were no written agreements regarding the car, i’m not sure that you will be able to get it back, I guess you have proof that you’ve been making the payments, but I don’t think that will be enough.

ETA- I just saw your update 🙂 i’m glad you’ve got a car. Just FYI, I am unsure what the policy is in US, but in AUS if the rego on a car runs out or is cancelled, then you can pretty much steal it.. All you need is someone to sign transfer papers saying that they owned the car and you paid them for it (no proof needed) and then you can sign it over into your name. If the rego on your car is expiring soon, or if you can cancel it, maybe look into whether or not it works the same way in America as it does in AUS.

Post # 11
Member
3018 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Lovemelovemyhorses:  Didn’t know that. I always thought That the VIN number was recorded along with the rego number at the DMV. Otherwise it makes car theft easy???

I thought that when the rego expired you had to take your car over the pits and check to see it was fit to relicense. they would then do a check on the VIN number and previous owners. If the car was reported as stolen then it would be flagged on relicensing.

MY FI said that the only way to get away with stealing a car is to buy a beaten up old car that is the same make and model as yours and cut the plates/ VIN in the engine bay and re-weld it on the stolen car. He called that rebirthing the car.

OP I would really look into this before even considering stealing back your car. Last thing you want is a criminal record.

Sorry your going through all this OP…it really is awful that a mother could do that to her child.

Post # 12
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Now I know nothing about the law in Atlanta but I’m sure there must be some legal means of getting the car. I’m sure your friend and her father should be able to advise you about this. I know here we have the law of trust to guide us in our jurisdiction which means that since you have made all the payments and the insurance is in your name your mother, who has done nothing to get the title of the car, holds it in trust (on your behalf) for you and it really belongs to you. 

I hope this works out for you. 

Post # 13
Member
3755 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

I can’t believe people are suggesting stealing the car… please don’t steal the car, it doesn’t sound like you would do that anyway, but seriously, that would just make things so much worse. You can however cancel the insurance on it since that’s in your name! Good luck with everything, it sounds like you’ll be able to figure something out between your dad and your FI. I would def say that your mom has some sort of mental illness, borderline personality disorder or something of the like. 

Post # 14
Member
1066 posts
Bumble bee

This is your mothers problem not yours. You may never know what her problem is, but unless she tells you, or unless you become a mind reader, you may never know. She is using the car as control. Protect your daughter, tell your mother you love her and this needs to stop. She banned your fiancee, and won’t explain why? Weird?. . Focus on you and your daughter and  what you need to do to make your life better.Try to avoid conflict if you can. Good luck hun x

Post # 15
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@cmsgirl:  

What I was told (by Vicroads, who registers the cars) that once a car is unregistered, it can be sold unregistered to anyone. Then sold on again. Basically, once it’s unregistered there is no way of tracking who owned it, so all you need are transfer papers and a bill of sale to register it in your name.

I know all this because my mother bought a car on behalf of someone, who then stopped paying and she then went to have the car repossessed. She did not pay the rego and then vicroads informed her that all the person in possession of the car now had to do was have anyone sign transfer papers and then put the car into her name, and my mother couldn’t do a thing about it. Luckily the woman had no idea about that though. Basically, don’t let a rego run out on a car that is not in your possession. Again, this is in AUS so I don’t know if it is applicable to USA.

Post # 16
Member
1348 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

To other posters (who have referred to this as stealing), it is NOT illegal to do this in Australia, and it is not ACTUALLY stealing. ( I have said multiple times to check and recheck the process of registering a car and the laws regarding this in the USA.) I am also not advising that the OP do this, I am giving her information which is related to her situation. If it is legal in the states, I can’t believe people would advise NOT getting the car back.

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