(Closed) I don't like bridesmaids! (Long)

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
36 posts
  • Wedding: October 2014

Hey there! Sorry to hear you are having such a hard time with your BMs, honestly if your Maid/Matron of Honor is the only one that is actually involved and excited for you, Iwould say just keep her.  The whole point of having your girls there is to support you and to share your excitement.  If they are just causing a headache, I wouldn’t bother even trying to keep them in.  Let them knowhow you feel about this – maybe they will surprise you and turn their act around.  It would obviuosly be nice to have an equal wedding party but realistically its not worth the hassel. This is your day and if you are having this hard a time getting on solid ground with them  right now, you will be freaking when its actually the wedding day.  Hopefully if you let them know you are debating on just scraping ALL BMs becuase of their actions (or lack thereof) maybe they will realise they aren’t being good BMs and will start to help out/show you suppor – either way it’ll let you know if they really do care or not. 

Keep me posted and good luck 🙂

Post # 4
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

If you feel like they don’t care, they don’t care. I couldn’t drop anyone and i’m less then 8 weeks away and its been hell, they don’t care trying to get anything done like getting a flower girl dress ordered is almost impossible. Your better of dropping them if you can do that. I couldn’t do that, because it’s not who I am. But if you can, you are better off, it will make your wedding planning much more fun. I’ve lost all the fun because of it.

Post # 5
250 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I suppose that since you were only asking people to match your FI’s numbers, this is what you can get yourself into.  I think if someone asked me to be their Bridesmaid or Best Man and we’re not very close, I may not be super involved either .

Since your Maid/Matron of Honor is really the only one you want standing up with you, why not just have her?

Post # 7
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

If they’re not responding to you, don’t respond to them. I would send out a generic message to all of them, like “call me to meet for lunch so that we can discuss bridal party participation” and if they don’t answer, don’t say another word to them about it. Seriously. If, a month or two down the line they bring it up just blow them off. “Oh that.. I don’t know I’m just not going to bother with it.”

I agree that it sounds like these people weren’t close to you to begin with. Idk how far you are out of high school but high school friends rarely equate to “real world” (after high school) friends. I considered having bridesmaids (for like a half a second) but I realized that I really didn’t want to choose a “top friends list,” and I also realized that I would only be doing it to make those certain people like me more and want to help me. I told myself that whoever likes me and wants to help me *will* and the ones that don’t should just be allowed to fall where they may. 

Post # 8
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Not that I’m knocking the tradition for those brides who do it with love in their heart, I just found that in my case it would be more hurtful than helpful to everyone involved. Just had to clarify that..

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