Post # 1
FI saw his dad and step-mom today to give them his brother’s suit for the wedding. Apparently they asked about pictures, and he said that when he told them we’re doing a First Look, they seemed disappointed and tried to tell him that he’s not supposed to see me until the ceremony.
I’m sorry, but why do people make it their business to tell people they don’t like their wedding ideas?
Now I feel like I have to defend my decision. We chose to do this so we could have a private moment. I don’t feel like our first moment together should be on display- I want it to just be me, him, and our photographer.
Ok. Rant Over.
Post # 3
Why would you have to defend yourself? Its none of their business what you do on your wedding day, so i would just ignore them. If they ask point blank, tell them you have made your decision and leave it at that
Post # 3
I know how you feel…fi and I have chosen to do a first look and we’ve gotten a few raised eyebrows as well. Just don’t defend it. If people give you funny looks, just change the subject. If they ask why, explain to them exactly how you explained to us. If they push it just tell them it’s a decision you and your fi made together and change the subject. They’ll probably all be jealous when they see how gorgeous your pictures turn out anyway!
Post # 4
I’m so sorry about that and I know how you feel. We’ve had to defend some of our choices along the way, including the first look, and it does hurt your feelings, piss you off, and is unnecessary but like PP said, you have to stop defending it. Just say that’s what we are doing and we are so excited. End of story. Listen to one of my experiences:
When we decided that my FI would see me in my gown at the salon, people that heard about died and were clutching their pearls for dear life, not to mention trying to tell us how awful that was and judging us. We had to defend the naysayers and it hurt me so bad because we did it for reasons that were so personal and intimate. My FI was deploying before we could get married and we decided that he would see me in my gown before he left for a year. In my head, I wanted him to see what he would come home to and it was a wonderful experience for us. After that, I quickly learned that people aren’t going to approve everything you do and defending it won’t help and it shouldn’t take away from our moment.
Your wedding, your day and you can’t let it get to you because they’re not involved or trying to change it. It’s perfectly fine to explain why but don’t try to sway them or go on the defense about it. If they don’t like it, o well! You’re right to feel like that but don’t fret, sweet girl 🙂 You’re going to love that moment together and it won’t matter!
Post # 5
Don’t you know that it’s only special if he see’s you for the first time at the ceremony? *rolls eyes*
I’ve had people question our plans to have a first look as well. After I explain to them the reasons why we’re doing it they normally stop bitching but that’s only after some rude comments. You should hear the things people have said about us staying together the night before. Uy vey!
Post # 6
I want bakc and forth about the first look for so long and it was the best moment of my entire day. Who cares what they think. It’s not their wedding.
It’s unfortunate, but I just stopped telling people what I was doing. It made it a lot easier than dealing with everyone’s negativity.
Post # 7
@mwitter80: Thats what I’ve learned from these forums, some details are just better left unsaid. Why does the world seems to think brides have nothing better to do but to hear their unsolicited opionions.
Post # 8
@mwitter80: I would stop telling people, but in this case, it’s my FI’s parents, and his siblings are in the wedding…. so they’ll all be there for photos.
FI and I started the discussion about a FL casually… I thought it might be a nice idea, FI wasn’t so sure…. but after we thought about it more, we like the idea of having some time for just us on a day when most people get no time to themselves.
This way, we not only get a solid 45 minutes of “us” time, but we also don’t have to be an hour late to our reception b/c of photos after the ceremony. To me, that just seems like a win-win.
Oh, and it’s much less likely that I’ll be a sob-fest during the ceremony. Did I mention that I’m a cryer?
Post # 9
Also, thanks for all the supportive comments! I really needed it!
I ask FI to explain the conversation they had further, and it turns out his little sister is the one who made the “But you’re not supposed to see each other til the ceremony” thing… and she’s 16. Lol.
But I guess his S-Mom did have a disappointed/skeptic look on her face.
FI told me that he explained it to them, and they seemed to understand our reasoning, but I just wish people would see it for it’s positives.
In the end, I’ve never heard of a bride regretting her choice, either way…. Know why? Because it’s her wedding day, and she’ll love it no matter what time her groom sees her.