I don't like the person he is, I was blind to it before?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2250 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

I think you’re overreacting, but then again,  that’s why I’m me & you’re you.  I kinda think maybe this confession is the straw that broke the camel’s back for you.  If you’re serious about ending this friendship, I don’t think ignoring will work if he’s clingy.  I would maybe say something like, “I don’t agree with what your extra curriculars & quite frankly, your negative attitude makes being around you difficult.  Please seek help as I do care for you & want the best!”


Don’t say anything to his parents or anyone.  It’s not like he’s murdering anyone, it’s just you don’t agree with how he is living & your way of life isn’t the right way for everyone. 


Post # 4
4395 posts
Honey bee

@stephanie091512:  + 1


@anonanonanonbee:  as long as he isn’t doing something illegal, I don’t see what’s wrong with his sexual practice. But that’s me. If it truly offends your moral so that you don’t want to know him, you should cut off your relationship. But it’s not your place to tell his parents or siblings. His sexual practices are his own business. 

Post # 6
11634 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I agree you’re overreacting.  His sexual activities are none of your concern, really, and unless those activities are hurting him or someone else, or involve someone underage, you don’t really have any business sticking your nose further into it, even if he did tell you.  If you don’t like him, stop hanging out with him, but don’t go run around and tattle on a grown man because you don’t like what he’s doing.

Post # 8
5697 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think if you have someone like this in your life that sucks the energy and life out of you, then its a friendship that isn’t worth having. I dont really think wha the does on the internet is your business to care about, but that’s kind of moot beacuse the rest of this guy is a hot mess.

Yes you might hvae to tell him you need some space because his negativity etc are bringing you down. But no I don’t think you should ever tell someone “don’t talk to me again” in that simple of terms. It’s pretty insensitive, especially for someone who you already know is obviously pretty fragile even if he uses being an asshole to cover it up

Post # 11
729 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t really see how he’s being a jerk to you. All I see is that he’s really struggling through a difficult period in his life, he’s gone out of his way to help you & your husband by designing basically all of your printed materials for your wedding, and he tries to spend time with you. I get that he’s not the most pleasant person to be around, but you seem to actively loathe him–how do you think he’d feel if he knew you basically despised him as a person? Do him a favor and stop spending time with him, so that he can build other relationships with people who don’t hate him.

ETA: Just stop responding to him. If you don’t engage him, he’ll stop contacting you.

Post # 13
98 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

@anonanonanonbee:  I get that he’s at a low point in life but he honestly sounds like a jerk. Ranking your friends?? Uh, excuse him!

Having a depression does not mean he gets to suck your energy as he pleases.

Being a magnet (apparently) to this type of person myself, I’d suggest you set some very firm bounderies. However, it sounds like you just don’t want him in your life at this point and well, you don’t have to.

Problem is, there is no nice way to go about it. He’s probably not going to stop contacting you if he’s the clingy type, so while it’s harsh and not what anyone wants to do, you’re probably going to have to tell him straight that you’re sorry, but *list of complaints* has been going on for too long now, and you just don’t feel like you can be friends with him anymore. Wish him all the best and be prepared for the guilttrip of a lifetime.



Post # 14
9038 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@anonanonanonbee:  Idk, I’m kinda sad for this guy.  He thinks you’re his friend.  You’re being extremely harsh in your judgment of him.  Why did you have him help you so much with your wedding stuff if you feel this way about him?


Post # 15
319 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I’ve been hearing a lot lately about how common it is for mental illness to ‘suddenly’ reveal itself with people in their 20s. I bet this is your friend’s problem. You said his vice/distraction used to be shopping, and now it sounds like his vice is YOU 🙁 you have to escape!

If he was my friend and being mean&clingy, I would straight-up tell him to see a therapist b/c he’s got serious issues, and I’m cutting off our friendship until he does.

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