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Aw I'm so sorry that you have to go through all of this so close to the big day :( My advice is to just focus on the honeymoon and knowing it will all be behind you soon. I'd make my fiance treat me to a massage/pedi for all of the trouble you are going through to pull off his idea ;) Best of luck over the next 29 days!
I'm so sorry - I can relate - I was definitely in the boat of planned elopement or DW and FI shot down those ideas because of his family. But luckily for me, he's remained aware that we're doing this for him, so he's been very involved in the wedding planning process.
And the woman getting "stuck" with planning the wedding is very unfair, and bit sexist, but it happens. Just because we're the bride, we're suddenly supposed to develop opinions about centerpieces and dresses and chair covers - the list goes on and on. I would try and explain it to your FI and tell him a little how you feel. Tell him that you're excited about marrying him but you're feeling very overwelmed and need him to come to the rescue (don't know about your FI, but mine loves 'coming to my rescue' lol).
What I've been doing is focusing on the things I really AM excited about our wedding, even though if it were my choice, things would be much different. For instance, I am in love with our ceremony venue and very excited that my best friends will be next to me that day. Try to focus on those things that make you happy in the next 29 days and then enjoy your honeymoon - you've more than earned a break 
Thanks guys. Sadly, we don't currently have a honeymoon planned due to the uncertainty of our post-wedding financial situation and time off. We'll do something... eventually. Probably a trip somewhere warm in November or February when it's FREEZING in Montana.
I'm just really struggling to stay calm, when I really want to yell that "I DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO DO THIS!"
ahem. Clearly that wouldn't be good. I do want to be married to him, just not have a wedding. Too late now, right!
CHK, I am SOOOOO feeling you! I feel the EXACT same way! I did not care about having a wedding AT ALL whatsoever but did it to make my FI, my dad and everyone else happy, yet there are 1,000 decisions, things to do, and everything basically falls on the bride! And then people keep saying "Whatever will make you happy" What would have made me happy was not having to do any of this in the first place!!! BUT I digress...
The reality it is too late for both of us. We are both getting married in less than a month. So my advice is don't sweat the small stuff! The important thing is we are marrying the person we love surrounding by our closest friends & family. Besides that, nothing else really matters...not the place, whether the dog is there, the linens, the flowers, none of it.
The one thing I would suggest is to take a small honeymoon even if it is just someplace sort of close by for a weekend. What is a a few hundred more dollars in the grand scheme of things. I know so many couples that plan to take a honeymoon and then never get a round to it. So if at all possible, do the short one and then still do the long one later on.
Hope it helps to know, that you are not alone in your feelings.
i feel for u. take a few deep breaths....you will be ok!!
its too late to elope now, uve invest hundreds if not thousands into ur wedding so far. u gotta make the best of this situation, u being mad will not change the fact that u did begrudginly agree to have a wedding versus eloping. now:
go to wedplan.com to find an officiant, finding one shouldnt be more than $250, relatively cheap compared to other wedding expenses.
as far as ur venue ---how much have u invested in the venue so far? why and what is the $3,000 extra fee for? thats insane! does ur contract have any stipulations like that ? can u ask someone in ur family (mom , dad) to go to bat for u and deal with this venue for u, threaten legal action...anything? seriously..thats not right for them to be tacking on thousands of dollars esp if u have a signed contract with them with an agreed upon amount.
@ MrsKessler- I'm waiting to hear back from the marina. The owner was meeting with the manager last night to discuss (he sounded positive that they could do it when I spoke to him yesterday afternoon). I haven't even responded to the restaurant's email, because I want to know where I stand with the marina before I tell the restaurant where they can shove it! (that was rude, I know, but don't spring an unexpected $3,000 fee on me with 32 days to go and expect me to be polite).
@ohsograteful- Thanks:) I do want to be married to him. I just didn't want to do it this way. All I can think is that for $12,000 we could have done something awesome, like flying both of our families to Rome and doing it there! But yeah... no going back, so enjoy it, right?
I'm so sorry you're stuck with this. Focus on the little things you can control though. What about keeping the dog with you as much as possible, and waiting until Saturday to kennel him? Then you don't have to worry about him on the actual day of the wedding, but he doesn't have to be at the kennel for so long either. That's what my family is doing, they're bringing their dog up from 3 hours away, and she's hanging out at my place for a few days, and then will spend just the wedding night at a kennel near the wedding.
I think the civil ceremony is your best solution too. Just look at it as signing the papers, rather than actually getting married that day, that way you can still think of your ceremony where you actually make your vows as your real wedding. A lot of destination couples do it this way too, so even if you had eloped, this might have been the way it worked out...
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To back up, I wanted to do a planned elopement. My FI was so against anything having to do with an elopement, he'd get pissed if I even brought up the subject. He wanted the party. INSISTED that we have the party. Then said he didn't care about much for it: didn't care about he flowers, the table linnens, the programs, etc. He said last weekend that he recognizes how selfish of a statement that is. If he didn't care about it... it left it up to me to make decisions planning a party I didn't want to have.
So yeah, I'm still kind of bitter about that.
So, here we are, 29 days away from our lakeside wedding. Wanna know what two things blew up in the last 72 hours?
Our reception venue tacked on a $3,000 fee (see previous post) so I'm scrambling to find another venue. It feels like all me on this one.
AND, FI's best friend from college was planning to marry us... except he can't get ordained in his church in time. And he won't do one of the online, certifications because he doesn't agree with their stance on something (which, I totally understand by the way. He feels awful, and was doing us a favor anyway!). So it looks like we're going to need to do a civil ceremony the week of, then have FI's friends do a public ceremony a few days later. I've told FI he's responsible for figuring this out. But still, one more thing to worry about.
I thought I was handling it okay, until I woke up this morning and picked a fight with FI over kennelling the 4 month old dog or not. I want to kennel her Thursday- Sunday (one less thing to worry about), he wants her there. All I can think about is excited puppy, who pees when excited, tulle ballgown, claws, and that if she poops in the house or on the lawn at my parents house (cocktail hour and ceremony site) it's still our responsibility to pick it up. Which, you know, is just what I want to be doing in my grandmother's tulle ballgown wedding dress. Picking up dog poop.
To put it bluntly, I hate this. Hate. Hate HATE wedding planning. And need to let go of the feeling that FI made me to it, because I can't spend the next month mad at him for something that, at this point, isn't going to change.
Maybe I just needed to vent. Does anyone have any words of wisdom for me?