Post # 1
Im engaged for 8 months now. My wedding will be on the nov 2015. Only 14 months left for the preparation. But im struggling emotionally. I dont love my fiance at all. I know him back on early 2013 through facebook. At that point of time he was relationship was on the rock with his gf. Well he decided to move on and be with me. I ever told him not to expect any hopes from as i wanted to take it slow. He agrees. Along the way he talk about the future and having a house of our own im beginning to like him more. However there’s this incident where he spoils everything. After bringing him back home and met my parets he been msging my mum without me knowing letting her know my secrets my bad attitude to her. Does he even need to do that???? I was really pissed off. And decided to break off but he insisted. My parents already warned that if i ever were to break off with him they will never accept any guy in the house anymore. How could they??I have to continue the relationship just to make everyone happy. Even till now i dont love him at all. How can i marry someone whom i dont love. Whenever we argue i did told him that i dont love him and i did all this to make my family happy. He said that he will make me happy. But till now nothing that he did make me happy and have feelings for him. When he wants to have sex i will find ways to avoid. When he wants to meet i will avoid. Even meeting his parents and relatives i give reasons. I cant. Its killing me slowly. What should i do?????
Post # 2
End the engagement. If you don’t love him, don’t stay with him. Your parents will just have to get over it.
Post # 3
seraphine86: I’m confused. He left his girlfriend to be with you? If this is the case, you don’t want to be with him, that kind of behavior repeats itself. As for your parents, they don’t pick and choose who you can be married to.
End the relationship. period.<br />
If you don’t love him, don’t stay with him.
Post # 5
I’m assuming you’re an adult (if you’re a minor, correct me). As an adult, your parents don’t really have anything to do with your decisions. To be married to someone you don’t love would be terrible. It wouldn’t be fair to either of you, and it will lead to a nasty divorce.
My only comment on his texting your mother about your behavior is that he sounds immature and probably isn’t ready to be married in the first place.
Break it off with him before it’s too late. You deserve to be with someone you love and treats you with respect, and he deserves the same. Like a PP said, your parents will get over it. If they don’t, that’s their problem.
Post # 6
seraphine86: May I ask what your cultural background is? Is it normal in your culture for your parents to have such a large part in the decision making process of who you choose as a partner?
DO NOT marry this man. It sounds like you will be setting yourself up for a lot of misery if you do. It will be easier to deal with disappointed parents than with a bad marriage.
Post # 8
Yeah, don’t get married. It seems like a no brainer. Be fair to him and fair to yourself. Let him find someone who will love him and go find someone that you love. Better to face the potential wrath of parents than to be unhappy til death do you part.
Post # 9
Your guy squealed on you to your parents? Who the hell does that? Seriously, be an independent woman and leave this jerk.
As far as your parents go, they are doing you no favor by telling you they’d never accept another guy in their home. Tell them if they don’t accept a new guy, they’ll never see their grandchildren. That alone will probably get them to change their minds!
Your happiness is what matters … not theirs.
Post # 10
seraphine86: This sounds like something off the Jerrey Springer show….
Sounds like you want out of that relationship. I suggest now rather than later. Do both of you the favor. Your family will get over it.
Post # 11
seraphine86: So the only reason you are staying with this guy is because your parents wont ever accept another man in your life. You have two choices…
1) Keep your parents happy, while slowly killing your soul, and stay with him. Suck it up and make the most of it. Once your parents are dead, maybe you can divorce him. But that will be decades (and possible many children) in the future.
2) Make yourself happy and leave him. Accept that your parents may alway be upset, but you dont have to live with them every day for the rest of your life. Accept that as an adult there are times we will make choices that anger or diappoint our parents, but utimately we have to do what is best for us.
Post # 12
seraphine86: Please, please, please end the engagement. This man is no good for you at all.
Your parents’ attitude is rotten and disgraceful. As a mother, I can’t comprehend it. I want my children to be happy. I believe they are bluffing. If you meet another man, they will eventually accept him. but even if they don’t, you can’t let your parents dictate your life.
When it comes to marriage, you must do what pleases you, not what pleases your parents.
p.s. Is this an arranged marriage?
Post # 13
mrs.joiner:when he knows me he decided to officially break off with his gf.
Post # 14
seraphine86: It still kind of sounds like he broke it off with his girlfriend to be with you.
Post # 15
seraphine86: my parents said that too when I was young and broke up with a long time bf. And guess what, they love my FI and are completely supportive of our upcoming wedding, even though it is not my first marriage! Parents are people too and don’t always say the right things. Do what is right for you. You will realize one day that most parents just want their kids to be happy.