Post # 1
I started dating my boyfriend right around the same time I graduated high school.
Well ever since then (about 4 years ago now). I’ve felt like I don’t really have friends that are girls. A lot of my friends from high school moved away and we’re not in touch now. My boyfriend is my best friend, and all his guy friends are my friends.
However, I try to make new friends that are girls and I’ve managed to make a few, but they’re all from different circles of people, and hanging out with them is spotty and I get ditched a lot.
Most of my friends that are girls are single and I think they might get jealous/ annoyed that I have a boyfriend – and I do talk about him a lot (not lovey-dovey, but he is my closet friend)
This is especially frustrating because I’m going to be getting engaged soon and I want to have bridesmaids!
I’ve always wanted a few close friends to confide and hang out with… however I now have several hit-or-miss aquaintences.
How do you meet, maintain, and not get ditched by friends?
Post # 3
I have this exact same problem!
I have one absolute best friend that I knew was going to be my MOH. But other than that there weren’t that many other people.
So i started hanging out with some old high school friends again, and got close to a person I actually wasn’t that close to in high school. But i asked her to be in the wedding and i just make sure we hang out at least once a month and talk to her a decent amount and just leave it at that.
It’s working for me!
Post # 4
I don’t really have a good set of girl friends either. I only had family as bridesmaids, and I’m glad I did it that way. There wasn’t any drama.
Post # 5
I don’t really have any girl friends. I’ve always been a tomboy so it took me quite some time to make some really awesome friends (2). However, since DH and i moved, i have no one and my attempts have failed miserably so my DH’s best friend is my best friend
Post # 6
I don’t really have friends in the same town as me. My BMs are friends from college, and we’re scattered across Georgia. It takes me a while to get to know people. I’ve been in my current town for 2 years, and things are quite spotty with the girls I have met. I was just thinking about this today. So basically, I don’t know how to answer your question. But you’re not alone!
Do you have good friends who live far away who can be your BMs? I wouldn’t just pick anyone, especially if they don’t like to hang out with you as often. What about your sisters or his sisters?
Post # 7
@mandigrl04: Oh I am with you! I have never really had my group of girls. I had a few that I hung out with in high school but I pulled myself away because they were nothing but drama. I have tried to make some new girl friends myself but that hasn’t quite panned out for me and my best girl friend and I work opposite schedules and are both super busy.
My boyfriend is my best friend too and luckily I have 2 amazing sisters that I am extremely close to so they are really my only female friends lol. I have always kind of wanted the tight knit group of girlfriends but at the same time I get along with guys so much better.
Looks like I will stick to my only 3 female friends and my bf’s sister for bridesmaids lol
Post # 8
Yeah, I am going through the same. Never really had close girlfriends. The only one I have is my MOH and we live an hour from each other now. Plus she’s a full-time working single mother. Her life is dedicated to her precious son. So, I rarely even talk to her these days. SAD PANDA! Anyways, guys were always the friends in my life. But not so much anymore.
Post # 9
I just posted something similar last night. I have moved 3 times since college and just dont have any close girlfriends anymore. And I really want some! I want some girls to have fun with and be my bridesmaids, and it depresses me when I think about my wedding without a bridal party. And who will come to my bridal shower?
I think like others have said, I’ve been better friends with males throughout my life. It’s hard for me to find a nice, down to earth girl to be my friend without any drama and backstabbing. And like you said about getting ditched, I am not really the life of the party. I’m more quiet and contemplative. So people don’t ever think “well we have to invite her because she’s so much fun!”. I get left out sometimes. The sad part is, I think I make a great friend!
Anyway, I totally understand where you’re coming from, and it’s lonely.
Post # 10
Wow, i am shocked at how many girls here dont have many gfs. I too dont have many girlfriends. I have some friends but not good enough to be best friends. They usually have their own circle of friends and i am not welcome or i am not interested in their groups. Its a good thing and bad thing especailly if your getting married cause your brides maids are your siblings and a person you never thught would be in your wedding. Or no one, you just go by yourself. Which is akward for your husband.
Post # 11
Same, so my bridal part is gonna be smaaaall. Just my sister and his sister. But he wants a million guys to be groomsmen. I don’t know what to do. He wants his dad (he was recently his dad’s best man), his brother, my brother, and his best friend. I’m sure he would have NO problem adding more. The only thing I can think of is to get my brother internet-ordained to officiate, but other than that I have no clue what to do. /sigh I wish I was more like my sister who has 3 maids of honor (yeah I know) 4 bridesmaids and 3 flowergirls. Jeez!
Post # 12
my darling FMIL told me that cus i dont have chick friends that i cant have a bridal shower…gee thanks…the funny part, i have chick friends but she dosent know them so they dont count..
Post # 13
I feel for ya! I had three best friends that were girls, and well lets just say, I grew up and they haven’t. It’s pretty sad but I’ve basically cut the straw between us and now my only friends are FI’s guy friends LOL It also doesn’t help I’ve never really been able to get along with girls so I hate FI’s friends girlfriends aswell. Needless to say, when I have a night where I start to b*tch about eveything, this is definatly one of the top ones LOL
Post # 14
@crh1729: Yeah I’ve really been trying to hang out with and keep in touch with my “friends” about once a month at least, but I’m the only one who makes the effort… it’s frustrating. I’m glad it’s working for you though!
@artbee: Yeah I wish I had family, or wish he had a family. We do, but I only have one female cousin and her and I aren’t close… and both of us (boyfriend and I) are only children. 🙁
@Ireland: Yeah I’m glad I have my boyfriend’s friends as friends… but I wish that I could have a few of my own, so when he hangs out with them alone I can have friends to hang out with!
@kperry3: Thanks! I’m glad I’m not alone! No, most of my friends that have moved away have not stayed in contact.. and they’re all married… and I wasn’t even asked to their weddings! So I would not feel comfortable asking them to be bridesmaids! haha.
Well I wish we had sisters… but sadly we’re both basically only children (I have a half brother who I’m not even in contact with). No cousins really either! 🙁
@jmcb: You’re so lucky to have sisters! I wish I did.. or he did!
@prettiestpink: Omgosh! Your words completely define my life! I feel the exact same way! I’m really introverted too.. and not the life of the party. I hate drama too.. so I’m a pretty choosey person on who I hang out with. I just want one or two genuine friends who are girls…who just want to hang out on occasion!
Post # 15
@Daisys4U: Yeah thats the problem with my friends too. I like them, but I don’t want to hang out with their other circles of friends. (Drink and party WAY TOO much!).
I’ve contemplated not having anyone stand with me… but it’ll look awkward with my boyfriend having 4 groomsman and 3 ushers!
@Caizn: I’m in the same boat! Boyfriend has a MILLION people that he wants.. and I have no one! 🙁 I’m jealous of your sister too!
@cr6zy: Wow! Terrible FMIL!
Post # 16
Thanks to all who posted on this!
I feel a lot better now that I know I’m not alone!
I love having Wedding Bee to vent on and be comforted by!