- 5 years ago
I have been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now. I turned 25 this past sunday and he will be 27 in May. We moved into a house we bought together in Jan 2012. In order to live there, I moved from my apartment 2 hours away and took a different job that has me traveling 4 days a week on average.
When we were preparing to buy the house, he told me it would be the house, then a dog, then the ring. We got the house in Jan, the dog in Feb, and it is now almost November and still no ring.
He promised me this year, definitely, telling me that 2012 would be “a good year for [you].” Then in June, when his cousin got engaged to his girlfriend, he told me it might not be this year, and that he wants everything “to be perfect.”
We’ve been talking about marriage for about a year and a half now.
I have to sit here and act happy while his cousin’s fiance posts all her wedding details on facebook and talks about her wedding constantly. The last straw was yesterday when she posted that they booked their honeymoon (the wedding will be in August ’13).
I can’t take it anymore. I have given him everything he wanted from me, a house, a dog, a better job. He always told me he wanted kids by 30. That he wants to marry me, etc.
But there is no ring, no intention of buying a ring, and there is no way a ring he ordered now would even be here in time for christmas. I’m not getting proposed to this year.
I think I have finally had enough. I love him, but I can’t stand having to sit here and be happy about everyone else’s weddings (all my college roommates got married this year) when I will never get my own. I don’t think it is fair that one person should get to control the other’s future like this.
I think it has finally broken our relationship irretrievably. I have become so resentful that I see it as laziness and unwillingness to compromise. I have been disappointed one too many times and “soon” or “someday” are no longer acceptable answers for me. A person who wants to get married, gets married, or at least proposes and has a long engagement. It’s no longer fair to me.
I think this weekend I will start packing my bags. At least now I know and I will have enough time to start over with someone who does respect and love me enough to marry me and not sit on his hands for years on end. At the very least, I am no longer willing to live with this person and we will have to see if the relationship will survive.
I hope it was worth it to him and I hope he finds someone who is a better match for him. Maybe it’s all for the best.