- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2018
I have been with my fiancé for a while. When we first got together we were inseparable. We had such an amazing time together, never fought, were constantly touching each other/cuddling/holding hands, and we were having sex regularly. We got engaged and started planning our wedding. Everything was great.
In the past few months, his behaviour did a 180. He’s yelled at me, called me a bitch, and called me stupid/retarded. He seems like he is constantly getting angry at me/snapping at me. I feel like I walk on eggshells on a regular basis talking to him. I told him how hurtful it is to me when he calls me names but never got a voluntary apology.
One time we were at Costco and he saw a buddy of his. I don’t remember what exactly happened but he ended up telling me that if he cared what people thought then he wouldn’t be with me. I was taken back by this. What does that even mean? When I asked him about it, he of course, got mad at me. I got a half-assed apology with a “that wasn’t what I meant” as an explanation.
While we used to have sex several times a week, it has dropped down to maybe once a week if I’m lucky. He doesn’t seem to have any interest in having sex with me, rejects me regularly, doesn’t flirt with me, and sometimes gets mad at me when I make sexual advances. He isn’t willing to try anything new and tells me I’m “sick” when I suggest something a little different. Tonight we had sex for the first time in a week and a half. He didn’t seem like he was even enjoying it, and he didn’t end up cumming. I couldn’t help but cry. I feel so unattractive and like such a failure. He doesn’t call me beautiful, he doesn’t look at me when I’m naked, he doesn’t caress me. Nothing. He says he doesn’t masturbate or watch porn so this should have been a huge build up after a week.
When I get upset and cry, he will very rarely console me. Tonight I left the room crying and he rolled over and went to sleep. When I try to talk to him about the issues I’m having in our relationship, he gets defensive and says “whatever”. He also gets very sarcastic. It’s like he won’t take responsibility for anything in our relationship. I’m not perfect and I never claimed to be, but at least I try. I’m always there for him whenever he needs me. I feel like he’s emotionally absent from our relationship.
When I talk to him about how I’m feeling, he always expects me to leave. His ex-fiancé left him for another man and I imagine he expects me to do the same. But if he didn’t want me to leave him, why treat me like garbage? He swears up and down that he loves me,, but I just don’t know anymore.
I don’t even know what I expected to get out of this post. Maybe I just needed somebody to talk to. If you read all of this, thanks for listening!