Weddingbee boards

So sorry to hear about that but keep your hopes up and spend as much time with her as you can and tell her about every detail of the wedding that you can.  My grandmother passed away three weeks ago and was so excited to see me and my fiance get engaged.  Knowing how happy she was to see her first grandchild be engaged, while not making up for her not being there at the wedding, comes close.  She will be missed and there will be pictures of her there (probably one in her wedding dress).  Is there any way you can honor her there (you can do this if she is there too).  Maybe a piece of jewelry, a broach, or another special token?  

Would it be possible to have a quiet little legal ceremony where she can be present as a witness (perhaps at her nursing home) and then follow it up with a larger 'do later? She would still be a part of your ceremony, and if the worst should come to pass, you and she will still have made a beautiful memory together...

I soooo understand how you feel! My grandmother and I have always had a very special relationship. She is relatively young (70s) but has had serious heart issues for most of her adult life. They discovered she had an aortic valve leak about 3 months out from our wedding. She scheduled her surgery as early as possible in order to be able to fully recuperate before the wedding. She went into surgery 8 weeks before the wedding and the surgery went really well. A week later her heart stopped beating (while in the hospital) and she lay unoticed for several minutes before they had to perform an emergency surgery in her room to resusitate her. She had many ups and downs in the following weeks and we soon realized that she wouldn't be able to attend the wedding. We even received an emergency phone call during the rehearsal that a major artery had been punctured during a routine procedure and that she was being rushed to emergency surgery.

When she was concious she was trying to bargain with nurses to let her out just for the day and I know she was devestated not to be there. To honor her that day we displayed a special flower arrangement on the alter for all of our grandparents and made a special note in the program. Our pastor even made a special mention of her during the ceremony and we all took time to say a special prayer for her.

Since the wedding her recovery has been a rollercoaster. To make matters even more difficult I live halfway across the country from all my family including my grandmother and have only been able to see her a few time surrounding the wedding. I did make a special point to visit her immediately after we returned from our honeymoon and although she was unable to communicate with me I filled her in on the whole day from start to finish. I also sent her several pictures from throughout the day to hang in her room.

I don't really have much advice for you. It is a really difficult situation and is very hard to balance your "happy", "sad", "elated", and "grieving" emotions. You just have to ride it out and know everything happens for a reason. The one thing that helped me was filling her in on the whole day regardless if she could understand me or not. It was important for me to feel as if she was at least "in the know" even if she was present.

Best of luck to you and I will keep you and your grandmother in my prayers.

So sorry to hear about your grandma - but so wonderful that your wedding could give her such joy at this time.  It sounds like you made her really happy and she must have felt really valued and loved knowing how much you were doing to have her there.

Best wishes and remember to enjoy this time with her.

awwww.... i'm sorry. :(    I know what you are going through, a couple months ago FH's Grandma was given 6 months to a year and she is really going down hill.  She had a heart attack and since that we found out she has emphysema and dementia. She has seen FH's deceased Grandpa on the ceiling and the next door neighbor flying through the 2nd floor window.  She has become violent and hiding things like knives under her bed and hiding things that she gave as gifts (she was staying with FH's dad and step-mom). She is now at Hospice and now her kidneys are failing and she has a potassium build up and is unconscious. Needless to say she will not be here for our wedding next year. FH is her first grandkid to get married.  It sucks, she was a wonderful lady and we will definitely miss her.  Hang in there, I will be thinking about you and your family.