Post # 1
I am a frequent bee user, but I am under another name to save myself the embarrassment…
I am having second thoughts :/ The wedding is set for the end of this year, and I have this constant feeling of not wanting to do this. Ever since he proposed we have done nothing but fight. Its not just about the wedding, it seems like we nit pick* at everything each other does. Everytime the word “wedding” is brought up both of us shutter. We have a ceremony site and an officiant, we are just about to book a small hall for the reception. We have been engaged for a year, and dont have anything accomplished. There has been so much debate over our ideas with family and each other, its gotten to the point where I dont want to deal with it anymore. We have gone through maybe just going to the court house, but then it comes down to “Thats not a good start!” We wanted simple, simple, simple!!! I love him very much, I know he loves me and this wedding planning has done nothing but tear us apart. I just want to go back to the way it was!!! :/
Post # 3
i think most important thing is to sit and decide how you want the wedding to go. Something that both of you would love, enjoy and will remember for many years to come. Before my boyfriend proposed to me, I was having second thoughts too, mainly because I wasnt sure if it would be worth it. I have had friends who spent thousands of bucks on the big big weddings then getting a divorce in less than a year.
Talk to him. Tell him how you feel, what your visions are for the wedding. If you want simple, go for simple. I am pretty much planning the wedding alone because my fiance and i live 12000 miles apart, but I always make sure we talk about the important aspects of it so i know he’s onboard with it.
my wedding is in July and I havent done a thing so dont worry! Start your list and tackle them one by one. Create a budget and stick to it. Do something that both of you are comfortable about and enjoy the process. If he is willing to go through the hassle just to marry you then there is nothing you should be married about. Find something he would like to do and let him do it like planning the honeymoon or something.
Post # 4
Are you having second thoughts about the wedding or the marriage? If it’s the wedding, perhaps you can postpone it. Or do a courthouse wedding with a small reception at a restaurant a few days or weeks later. Don’t let your famliy stress you out about this.
Post # 5
It sounds like wedding stress.
… So here’s my rediculous idea of the day. I know you said you didn’t want to do the courthouse, but how about do a surprise elopment? It might take the stress out of planning the rest of the party. Dont tell anyone, just make it between the two of you and maybe a witness that you trust.
Now, if the nit-picking is more than skin deep, that’s another story worth considering. Maybe try journaling the fights. I notice that our fights come after we discuss money or make purchases. So I’ve been more patient and understanding when we need to have a financial discussion.