(Closed) I don't think you should have a baby right now

posted 6 years ago in TTC
Post # 3
Member
427 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I’m sorry you had to hear that.  Apparently being pregnant makes you an athority on motherhood in her mind?  If you are ready to have a baby, more power to you! I’m 28, so right now I’m getting, “remember, no time is the right time to have a baby.” When I was in my early 20’s I wasn’t ready for a baby, but you seem to be well established, so good for you girl! Maybe she was just overly hormonal?

Post # 4
Member
3626 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t even know how I would have responded to that! Especially if the topic of you having babies came out of nowhere. Ugh.

Post # 5
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

sounds like someone is having a hard time adjusting to the thought that her freedom/independence/relationship with her husband will be forever changed.

Yes it’s rude but there’s nothing much you can do except mentally punch her in the face and then move on.

Sorry you had to go through it in any case >_<

Post # 7
Member
468 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Oh my gosh, HOW RUDE! Of course, she can’t tell you what to do, or how you’ll experience it, or how you’ll feel. But on TOP of that, she’s going through huge changes herself! The whole experience is a work in progress and will probably be in flux forever anyway, so how dare she tell you what’s what?

I would be FIRED UP too. Wow. No worries. She just has poor judgement/social skills and you’re obviously super nice to have not bitten her head off 🙂

Post # 8
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

When I started talking about considering kids my own sibling was against it and trying to convince me otherwise (she had just had a kid). It drove me nuts, as even though I’m younger and doing things sooner than her it doesn’t mean I can’t handle it.

I’ve got a coworker that was similar. He constantly would comment about how I need to travel and enjoy things before kids. This went on every time we’d go out to lunch. When I ended up pregnant, he continued these comments, as I hadn’t told him yet. It was so tough, as it was tearing my nerves up. I finally told him to shut him up, but now I’m getting the “everything is going to change” and “your going to ignore all your other pets” (we’ve got various pets) and so many other comments. Sorry, I’m not going to put my entire life on hold because I have a kid. I wish some people could STFU and mind their own business.

I’d probably bite her head off.. but I have also snapped at the above coworker several times. He definitely hasn’t learned his lesson about pushing my buttons though.

Post # 9
Member
1301 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@apex:  How rude. Its none of her business and you were very stoic not to tell her so. As PP said she is obvisouly getting anxious about her own life and projecting that onto you. You and your DH only need to worry about you two being ok with TTC. 

Best of luck!!!
 

Post # 10
Member
6473 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2011 - Sydney, Australia

I would’ve told her in polite terms, to STFU. You don’t make assumptions on whether or not someone is ‘ready’ to have a baby. She needs a swift kick up the booty.. or at least some sticky tape to cover her mouth before she talks.

Don’t let it get to you. You guys just keep on keeping on! xx

Post # 11
Member
1406 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Wow HOW RUDE!  Since I’m 36 and never had a kid, I’ve been told lately “oh it’s ok if you don’t like kids!”  To which I respond (b/c I don’t want rumors started) “actually I LOVE kids and we are trying!”

DH has a couple of friends (that are way younger than me and don’t know my age) that we NEED to travel first (we live in Europe and travel all the time btw) b/c they can’t do anything b/c they have kids.  Personally it’s nobody’s business if DH and I want to TTC now or not…and it’s not my problem that they feel their kids hold them back from traveling….some people just SUCK!!!

Post # 13
Member
5109 posts
Bee Keeper

Oh MY gosh. I would be sooo mad!!!! Did you end up telling her that her comment offending you or anything?

Post # 15
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I wouldn’t tell people other than immediately family I was TTC to avoid a lot of these conversations.  I would ask her why she was having one if they’re so terrible and gesture to her belly.

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