(Closed) I don't understand the crazy brides!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

You’re in the wrong place…

Post # 4
Member
2494 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2018

Some people just place importance on different things, there’s nothing wrong with that.

Post # 6
Member
388 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@chercee:  My wedding mindset is a lot like yours, and I don’t feel like I can relate to a lot of the threads here. Like the person being upset about being called a “guest” on the RSVP card… seriously? Or when the “etiquette snob” rolls in… ugh.

Post # 7
Member
6365 posts
Bee Keeper

I know what you mean, I just can’t get too emotionally caught up in those little details either.

I want a memorable wedding, don’t want to cut corners, and I want to be the best host I can be, but I doubt little things like sliced vs. creamed tomatos etc. is really going to ruin a guest’s day…and if it would, why would it?

I wish I had someone to plan the wedding for me, not because I’m incapable of making the decisions required… it’s actually very easy for me to make up my mind on things… but because I just really don’t care very much about the manority of planning details, “as long as it’s nice.” And I don’t really mind if a bunch of little detail stuff “goes wrong.” As long as we end up married and everyone’s having a good time (within reason, I know I can’t expect that no interpersonal issues would arise at all, but as long as it’s nothing big). That’s what I call a wedding!

I don’t think you’re on the wrong website at all. The kind of wedding you want is just as much a wedding as any other.

Post # 9
Member
263 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

People just want their (hopefully) once-in-a-lifetime moment to be perfect. If it’s “whatever happens, happens” and all about the marriage, why spend all the money? Go to the courthouse and have a BBQ.

 

Post # 11
Member
750 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@chercee:  On one hand I totally understand what you’re saying. I have felt that before on certain boards. Particularly etiquette based ones.

On the other hand, I think part of this is because we have built up the idea of the perfect dream wedding in our heads, and society has told us to. Society has told us we should pay thousands and thousands of dollars for our one special day. Some people can do that, some people can not.

I do think people are wired differently.

Some people are foodies, and creamed tomatoes are WAY different than diced tomatoes.

Some people are fashion conscious, so they want that dress.

Some people are very aesthetically driven, and want their decor vision to match.

Now that being said, I think it is generally safer to have a “wedding vision” than having every tiny detail planned out. I think it is less stressful, for sure, and I think when people get caught up in minute details and not the larger vision they get stressed and start complaining.

I don’t think that wanting a particular thing for your wedding means that you are taking the vows less seriously, or that it is not the most important aspect of the day. It is, but that day is also a celebration for your family and friends, so you kind of want it to be special. If you didn’t care about that at all, we’d just have civil & religious ceremonies with no reception.

Weddings are an emotional thing. Money is stressful. Planning is stressful. Sometimes these things take their toll, and they might make someone seem a bit crazy, but really we’re all coming from different places. We have no idea what sort of pressures brides have from outside sources, or if they have their own issues (I have GAD, so yeah, totally get the anxious breakdowns).

So, I don’t know… that’s just how I see it.

Post # 13
Member
889 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

@chercee:  Agreed.  Things need to be put in perspective.  Every time I go to a wedding I just can’t believe all the work and money people spend on minutia that no one really cares about.  But as others here have said, I guess it is a matter of priorities.  I know many people who prefer a fancy wedding (with all sorts of details) and rent a house, than buy a house and have a more modest gathering that’s still nice but nothing too crazy. 

 

Post # 14
Member
951 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@chercee:  My advice? Live and let live. Your wedding is easy and drama free? Good for you! But people do things differently and it’s really not your problem if someone is having a drama filled wedding. In fact, it provides me with the entertainment that I enjoy here on WeddingBee. 

Post # 16
Member
405 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I care about my wedding, but I just can’t must enough fucks to get as upset over some things that people do. I was talking to our caterer about chairs a few weeks ago. The venue supplies nice white fold out chairs and he said that sometimes people rent chair covers or chivari chairs. For me it just seems crazy, my venue is pretty and is outdoors, so I think chair covers would look stuffy. While chivari chairs are pretty, I think my guests would prefer if I upgraded their food or booze for $3.50/person over the piece of furniture they will put their ass in for a few hours. But I’ve seen so many stories on here where a bride is sacrificing something the guests would really appreciate (better food or drinks) for something they won’t notice bc it will make the pictures better. I guess I’m just trying to host an enjoyable event, I acknowledge it won’t be prefect bc nothing is, but it’ll be amazing in the end bc I’ll be married. 

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