(Closed) I don't understand this at all – please explain!

posted 6 years ago in Logistics
Post # 3
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@yellowismyfavoritecolor:  For me, some of our guests are people that I dont know and would have preferred them rsvp no. However, you have to pick your battles with your in laws and these people were worth starting another fight over. 

Post # 4
Member
485 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

We’re just trying to keep costs down, so we hope some RSVP “no” so we have less people there.  If enough say no, we can invite the friends we left out to make room for family.

Post # 5
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I don’t get it either. You should only invite the amount of people that you can afford. If you ask me, it’s pretty stupid to assume that X amount of people will decline. What happens when they don’t and you’re stuck pinching your pennies to feed them? That’s just poor planning.

Post # 7
Member
1235 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

FYI: I didnt invite them because I couldnt afford them or have room for them because I do…I just dont want them to attend 😛

Post # 9
Member
4465 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

Well I have to admit that we invited about 350 expecting no more than 150 and we were right – that’s what we got.

In my religion you invite. There’s hardly ever such a thing as a wedding less than 100 and my wedding at just about 140 was considered small. Each parent (both sets are divorced) had a guest list (my mom’s was really the only list that had actual family friends of mine on there too since I grew up living with my mom in her community and I live there now with my husband too). My husband’s father lives in New Jersey and a ton of people from his community were invited (some close family friend’s of my husband’s family and some that my husband doesn’t know) and then my mother in law, who lives in Florida but is from New Jersey, invited a different set of family friends and people my husband doesn’t know from New Jersey. Plus my husband and I each had our own separate lists. So that’s 6 different invite lists.

Since a huge chunk of our guest list was in New Jersey we knew they weren’t coming. Almost everyone from my mom’s list came (which we expected) besides some distant family and only a few people from my husband’s mother’s list came. (My father’s list was the smallest of all consisting mostly of family and only one friend, who all came.) The friends of mine I expected to be there were there and my husband had a small amount of friends that flew in. Basically we did what is acceptable and appropriate for us as far as who we knew we needed to extend an invite to, but we were also spot on with how many we knew we’d have and that’s what we had.

Had we kept the guest list to just my husband and mine’s friends and then the family friends from my mom’s list and the few from my mother in law’s we would’ve invited 150 and had 140 attend – pretty much the average that I usually read about on WB. But that just isn’t how it works in our circles. Just to add, had more people RSVP’d yes we would’ve definitely accommodated them!

Post # 10
Member
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2002

we invited almost 300 people. and we can afford that many, but it would just be nicer if about only 200 came! along with the fact that when were looking for caters and things – they want to know an estimated amount for pricing. and things like renting. i dont want to pay for 300 chairs when 300 probably wont show up! but maybe were crazy as well. haha. and theres DEFINITELY a few families that FI parents insisted on inviting… families like the one with the daughter whos dating my now ex. WEIRD. id love for them to not come. lol.

Post # 11
Member
11354 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

This is why I was completely unwilling to invite even one more person than my venue could accommodate, until after someone had declined.  I had a “B” List (which, even Miss Manners says there is no crime in having, unless you allow someone to  know that he or she is ON the “B” List,”) and, the moment I received a decline, I was able to invite friends whom I could not initially include due to space limitations at my venue.

By doing this (which requires ensuring that all guests from the same social circle be invited at the same time), I ultimately was able to invite another more than 40 people who originally were not able to be on my “A” list.

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