Post # 1
This is probably going to sound really weird..
I don’t want to go on a honeymoon. Or rather, I don’t want to take a trip right after the wedding. I’d rather wait and plan a vacation for after the new year, or even the following spring. There are a few reasons why an immediate honeymoon is not appealing to me. First, I don’t want to be trying to plan a vacation at the same time as planning the wedding. I would rather wait until after the wedding is over so that we can really put some time and effort into planning a great trip instead of just throwing something together. I also don’t like the idea of leaving soon after the wedding, I want to be able to tie up all loose ends and decompress. I feel like I wouldn’t be able to fully relax, instead i’d spend the honeymoon thinking about how I should be taking care of thank-you notes, insurance paperwork, and everything else.
My partner disagrees, and wants to take off right after the wedding for a honeymoon, or at least within the next week or two. He hasn’t really been able to tell me why it HAS to be this way, other than “that’s what people do.” I understand the desire to have this time alone in a relaxing place to enjoy each other as newlyweds, I just don’t feel it needs to be done immediately.
I’m not really sure what I’m looking for.. maybe there are others of you who had conflicting ideas about the honeymoon, or who planned something for later on? I’m thinking a good compromise might be to have a small honeymoon right away, like a three-day weekend, and then plan something more involved for later. Or am I just being completely unreasonable?
Post # 3
@pineapplelove: Why don’t you let him plan it then? We’re taking off the day after our wedding and taking off the whole week. We get back on Saturday morning, so we still have the weekend to get settled when we get home.
Post # 4
I agree, let him take the lead & plan it, my husband really enjoyed planning it because it was “his way of contributing to the wedding.”
Also, remeber that marriage = compromise and since it is important to your Fiance to go on a honeymoon, you should be willing to meet him in the middle and at least plan on a small minimoon or some sort of get-a-way together.
Post # 5
Our honeymoon is going to be 6 months after our wedding. It’s amazing knowing that I don’t have to plan all the little details of our Honeymoon during wedding planning. Plus we will have more money to spend since we will be done paying for the wedding! The main reason we are having such a late Honeymoon is because November is the good season to go and we’ll also get more honeymoon time by going over Thanksgiving week, 2 days that we didn’t have to use our vacation time on.
Post # 6
I totally agree, i didnt want one at all as (wierd as it sounds) im not into far away exotic holidays, my reason for going away is purely relaxation. We also have other things we would rather spend the money on eg a house and, like you didnt want the stress of going away so close to the wedding. I disagree that you ‘have’ to do anything in relation to weddings now as i believe they should be personal to you. We have now decided to take a small honeymoon for 4 days to relax and spend time together but wont cause stress or cost the earth. My advice to your h2b would be to have a honeymoon next year as people often comment that after all the wedding build up and day itself they can sometimes feel deflated after returning from honeymoon unless they were desparate to go following the wedding. Suggest that you would have something to plan and look forward to following your wedding and prehaps let him organise a long weekend as suggested by Miss Longcoat as a compromise? 🙂
Post # 7
hmm.. possibly if you let him plan the vaca by himself he will realize how much easier it would be to plan AFTER the wedding and postpone it anyway 😉
I don’t think a honeymoon has to be any less enjoyable just because there is some time in between. And, like MissNumbers said, certain vacations are better in certain months, so there’s no sense taking a trip at a bad time, just because it happens to be the day after your wedding.
Post # 8
Why not compromise and do a long weekend somewhere easy and close? You’re going to be exhausted after all the planning/socializing/dealing with logistics. I think it’ll be really important to carve out some relaxation time for yourselves immediately after the wedding! Going back to work right after is pretty anticlimactic and exhausting!
Post # 9
@MissNumbers: Yeah this is another reason why I’d rather wait, because if we only focus on the week or two right after the wedding, we are more limited in choosing where to go and what to do. One thing we are considering is a cruise, and we’d have about 2 choices of where to go. I’d rather pick our ideal destination and itinerary and plan around that, even if it is months later.
Post # 10
It’s not uncommon at all to delay the honeymoon. We’ve had more than one couple comment that they were glad that they delayed it for a few weeks or even months, as it gave them something else to look forward too. There’s absolutely no rule that says you have to go right after the wedding if it’s not a good fit for you!
Post # 11
@pineapplelove: I agree with other PPs to allow him to plan it. It’s really not as bad as you think. We booked our crusie and now we just await having to go. Only thing we’ll need to do throughout the summer is get outfits, toiletries, etc together.
Also possibly make a compromise with him. Perhaps wait a month or two?
Post # 12
@Rouquine: Yes, cruising is a good compromise too because it is so easy to plan. It is just that with the timing he wants (leaves one week after the wedding) and departure port we need, there are only two choices and one is for a destination we’ve already been to so we’re not interested. I will keep looking though.. and we might be able to get a really good deal if we go that route, since I think some people are too afraid to cruise with all the recent drama 😉
Post # 13
Personally, I would rather have the honeymoon right away. It is very stressful planning the wedding and honeymoon at one time but all the more reason why I can’t wait to relax for the week after it. It would be much better than returning to work. And my mom put it into perspective for me for couples who wait. She said that if you wait, it just becomes a vacation instead of a honeymoon. I agree with her. If you go right after your wedding, it will be so blissful and romantic. But if you wait, it could fall short. Also, things happen. What if you get pregnant, one of you loses your job, or you decide that you rather spend money on a house. You may never get to go on a honeymoon. I would rather be safe than sorry. And people understand that they won’t get thank you cards the week after your wedding. You shouldn’t be thinking about anything but life with your new husband.
Post # 14
@blondie634: Hmm. I’m sure you didn’t mean it in this way, but I would be afraid that if I unexpectedly got pregnant or lost my job, I’d be wishing there was some extra money in the bank and regret spending it on a honeymoon. Fearing the unexpected can be unproductive for some people.
To the OP, there are always reasons you can think of to NOT go on a vacation/honeymoon. Try focusing on the positive: that it will be fun and relaxing and a great experience to start your married life! Even if it is postponed a bit.
Post # 15
I know lots of people that don’t take a honeymoon right away. Especially if they have a summer wedding, they want to wait till winter to go away somewhere tropical. I don’t see any problem with that. But if your Fiance wants to go away right away then you need to work that out. But I think good compromises are having him plan it, so that you aren’t stressed with the holiday planning or taking a minimoon right after teh wedding for a weekend and then planning a bigger trip later in the year,
Post # 16
I am so glad I’m not the only one that feels this way! I also don’t want a honeymoon right away – I think there is just so much to do that there is absolutely no way I could relax.