Post # 1
Here’s a bit of backstory:
My fiance and I have been engaged for about 4 months. We are planning a backyard wedding for September 2013. So far, we have booked a photographer. Other than that we have just thought up ideas.
From the start, I’ve wanted to elope. I don’t want a big wedding. I don’t want to spend a ton of money for people to come and eat the free food. I just want to marry the love of my life and start our life together.
My fiance wants the whole big shindig. The most important thing to him is having all of our family and friends together. Even if we were to have a DW or a small wedding, he would still want to party with everyone after so we would be spending the exact same amount as if it were a full wedding.
Our plan so far is to have an intimate ceremony for family only and then have a reception that same evening. I thought I was ok with this idea. But now our guest list has inflated to 150 people and my parents’ backyard where we were planning to have everything is too sloped for tables and it costs thousands of dollars just to rent a tent to put everyone in. The more I think about this wedding, the more I hate it. It’s not what I want.
I need ideas for compromises that I can discuss with my fiance. I want us both to have the wedding of our dreams, but our dream weddings are so different. Help!
Post # 3
@Black-Eyed-Susan: Would you be able to have the initmate ceremony that you want and then have the big party in a park? They’re inexpensive to rent (most of the time) and you could find one with a shelter with picnic tables. That way you don’t have the issue with your parent’s backyard. You could also do just a dessert reception, or tea-time appetizer reception, etc. that is budget friendly. You could then still do things like cut the cake, etc.
I hope it works out for you!
Post # 4
@Black-Eyed-Susan: I hear you! We had the same problem. We wanted a small immediate family only wedding in his hometown, then a reception the next day for everyone we didn’t invite, at a restaurant or something. His parents freaked out (they felt we couldn’t exclude all the relatives) so now we’re having a larger “small” wedding, of about 60 people.
I’d recommend cutting the guest list. Be ruthless and cut it down as much as possible. This way, you might still be able to have the backyard wedding, with a reception consisting of heavy hors d’oevres (and avoid the cost of a sit-down meal).
Another suggestion–the way we saved a lot of money was that we found a restaurant that has a large private party room and their food cost is very very reasonable. If you can cut your guest list to maybe 50-75 people, you might be able to take everyone to a restaurant and avoid the costs of renting tents, tables, linens, paying for catering and decorations, etc etc. The party room where we’re having our reception is gorgeously decorated anyway and all we need are centerpieces.