- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
So I think I’m at that moment that (I hope) every bride has. The one that divides the bridezillas and the non-bridezillas… Everything is stressing me out, so I invite you all to talk me off the bridezilla ledge.
A little background info:
Fi and I were going to elope, then we decided since we’re both acutally very close with our families we’d invite them as well. Then since we both have sisters, meaning Fi would just be getting ready with the dads, and Fiance has a very tight-knit group of guys friends (they’ve been frriends since elementary), we decided that we would also include our very best friends. Making a grand total of 15 people, so not eloping but still not a giant wedding (I really don’t want a “wedding”). We’re getting married at San Francisco City Hall because that’s where I wanted to elope to. But now we’re booking the fourth floor and possibly hiring an officiant instead of just doing the city hall thing.
The bridezilla thoughts
So after inviting my sisters, they both start freaking out about how it’s going to cost them so much money and how my younger sisters bf wont be able to come because he can’t afford it etc. So I think: I paid like $500 for my older sister’s wedding, bachelorette party, shower etc, and I had to take 3 days off work. I’m at least getting married when everyone is off work (my family is full of teachers) even though it means that I have to gett married just 4 days after FI’s friend and the weather may not be as good as it could have been had we got married in Sept.
Then my younger sister tells me that she got a dress (she’s very broke, so finding a nice dress that worked for her universuty graduation, her final performance, and my wedding is a big deal). It’s a really nice dress and it looks great on her, but it’s orange and navy with speckles all over it. So then my older sister finds a dress to match, it’s solid coral/orange with modern flower cutouts on the top. It’s also a nice dress. But I hate orange and my family portraits are going to be thrown off because they’re going to stand out and clash!
What’s stressing me out
Hotels and Money
So I’m getting stressed out because I want my wedding to be exactly what I want, but I really want everyone else to be comfortable with things and have fun. Originally I thought that we’d all fly down together, get a limo or something to a nice hotel and everything would be super fun and exciting. So then my Future In-Laws say that they need to fly Air Canada, and everyone starts bitching about the prices of hotels in SF etc. But, it’s my wedding, and I don’t want to stay in a Holiday Inn out by the airport just because it’s the only hotel under $200. Plus, I spend days reading hotel reviews and chose the Grand Hyatt because of it’s location, good reviews, recent renovation, and availability.
So now I have to start from square one and research hotels all over again to try and find something that’s better priced, but still a hotel that I would want to stay at during my wedding. I also have to let everyone find their own way to SF and to the hotel, which kinda ruins the fun of it and it’ll make them not have such a great experience and cost them even more $$ for the cab fare to the hotel.
Because we’re not having centerpieces, or table cloths/chair covers, or bridesmaids/groomsmen, we don’t really have a theme or wedding colors. The only thing that sets a color is my bouquet, FI’s tie and the color of the announcements we’re going to send out. I really want a blush bouquet, and I thought that Fiance could wear a pink/blush tie and I even found the cutest announcements that come in blush. But now that both my sisters are wearing bright orange I feel like blush with not only totally clash, but I will be lost in family photos. My Fiance tried to reassure me by saying that I could just have a white bouquet and he could wear a silver tie but it’s my wedding and I want blush! I just want everyone to wear light or nuetral colors, but because I’m not having them as bridesmaids I have zero say in that, plus my younger sister can’t afford to get a new dress. So do I switch to an all white bouquet and a silver tie?
I really don’t want a typical wedding. But somehow my elopement has turned into a wedding, where everyone give you his or her opinion on everything. We were going to go to city hall because it’s super easy, inexpensive, and beautiful. But now we’re booking out the 4th floor to accomodate our guests, and we have to hire an officiant because Fiance has decided that he doesn’t want to see me before the ceremony if we’re not eloping. Then when I told everyone I was just going to hire students from the conservatory to play Pachelbel’s canon, they all groaned and rolled their eyes and said that it was too cliche. But I can’t have any amplified music (ie: no iPod or recorded music) and all the “wedding musicians” play is classical. I also somehow ended up booking tourist attractions for everyone and having to try and sort out who needs tickets to what, and finding things for people to do the day after our wedding. That is supposed to be the first day of my honeymoon, why am I booking your baseball tickets!?
What makes everything worse is that we are the last wedding of the summer (there are 4 in my FI’s close group of guy friends) and so everyone will be comparing them.
If I had it my way I would pitch in and help pay for everyone’s hotel, but I am recently graduated and am living off student loans and although my Fiance has a really good job and makes good money, he doesn’t have great job security right now. Plus I’m not having an engagement party, or a bachelorette party, or a shower, and I don’t want any presents from those that are invited, so I’m already saving everyone some money.
Anyway, my apologies for the rant, perhaps this needs to be moved to emotional. I just feel like the elopement that I want has slipped through my fingers and now I’m stuck trying to please everyone, and basically having the wedding that I didn’t want, which comes along with extra pressures and stress from everyone else.
If anyone has any ideas or help on how I can get a good hotel in SF or figure out what colors I should choose or anything it would be appreciated!