I dont want kids in my wedding! (Rant)

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
7039 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@DelilahDiamond:  Eugh. I’ve no problem with a close relative (like niece or nephew), but a wedding’s not a place for rent-a-kid. Your wedding party is meant to be your nearest and dearest. You don’t want to look back in 10 or 20 years time and think, “Who the heck was that?”

I always thought the best part of the wedding was the bride and groom. Maybe I’m weird and your FMIL is normal 🙂

Post # 4
852 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@paula1248:  +1 I dont understand why anyone would want a bunch of strangers in their photos no matter how cute they look.

Nearest and Dearest only, if they happen to be young a cute and predicatble then good if not, why even consider them.

That said, I have some super cute pictures of friend and family kids dancing at the reception.

Post # 6
5392 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@DelilahDiamond:  Hey, it can always be worse; my FMIL actually asked us if we’re not inviting kids because we don’t want to or because we don’t know any, adding that if it’s the latter, she can ‘find some for us to invite’… Yup, FMIL to the rescue with her rent-a-child service!

Just stand firm; it’s your wedding, and so entirely up to you who you have, or don’t have in the bridal party. I would simply say that you are not close to these children, and only want people you are close to in your bridal party, and leave it at that. Frankly, it is none of her business and she can just suck it up.

Post # 8
2694 posts
Sugar bee

@DelilahDiamond:  I would never consider some random kids in my wedding party. Of course, I didn’t even have a wedding party. It was just me and DH. My 8 year old niece did hold my flat but she had no official role in the wedding.  

Also, the best part of a wedding is the couple not the kids. Stick to your guns.

Post # 9
3787 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@DelilahDiamond:  Honestly, it sounds like you guys are handling this well. How annoying though. I think if your FI has been responding for a few days, it’s maybe time for him to say “Mom, I love you but this isn’t open for discussion. Please drop it.” Then stop answering. When she brings it up in person, he needs to say “We aren’t talking about this anymore. How’s Uncle Jake?”

Post # 10
3735 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@DelilahDiamond:  We are not having any kids in our wedding either. I’d love to have a couple in it but it’s like once I invite one, where do I stop without hurting feelings?

Post # 13
4760 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@DelilahDiamond:   said the best part of the wedding is seeing the little kids dressed up

gag.  tell her to go to a child pagent instead of your wedding.  Obviously she’d have more fun there.

Post # 15
7654 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@DelilahDiamond:  Yeha just ignore her. I like kids in the wedding, but we made sure ours ws a bit older. Our ring bearer was 4 (and my godson), and he listens super well.

However, while I have a lot of little girls in my family, I didn’t want a flower girl becuase I am not close with anyone and all those little girls are complete brats. My MIL would NOT leave us alone about her step sister’s daughter, whom I’ve never met and DH has only met once and not within the last 5 years. MIL just went on and on, but the decision stood, and we just changed the subject when she would talk about it. She tried to make us feel bad, but I didn’t want any little girls in my wedding at all.

Post # 16
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

It’s not like you’re having a kid-free wedding! Just no kids in the bridal party!

I’ve been to two kid-free weddings in the ast year. They’re definitey not a big deal, and I definitely didn’t wring my hands in distress that there wasn’t a 4 year old in a dress!

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