Post # 1
My future sister-in-law is a bridesmaid. she’s a sweet girl and I’m excited for her to be up there with me on my wedding day.
Her boyfriend, however, is a four letter word. who accused my fiance of cheating and never bothered to apologize to anyone. he’s manipulative and skeevy and gross and I’d rather not see his face on our wedding day.
but they’re kind of romantically obsessed with each other, betrothed, whatever. I want her to have a great time at the reception, but if he thinks he’s warmly welcomed, he’s crazy. I know that’s rude, but I can’t stand the guy.
As a bridesmaid, she’ll be receiving her own invitation to the wedding. Is it okay to leave off “and guest,” or do I bite the bullet and just let him be there? will I even notice?
Post # 3
As a member of your bridal party I personally feel she should be allowed a +1. I do, however, understand your concerns. Trust me. 🙂 But, I promise you will not notice on your wedding day. You will be so over the moon excited about your future and busy visiting with your loving family and friends, you won’t even notice him. He would be crazy to make an ass of himself in front of your family and friends on your wedding day anyways.
Post # 4
Unfortunately I don’t see a way around giving your bridesmaid a plus one.
If they are “betrothed” and you are inviting other couples who live together or are engaged, it would be a slap in the face to her, not to invite him.
I suggest also that as she will soon be family, you would want to go out of your way to invite him.
As Miss Seersucker has said, you will be so busy and having so much fun that you need not pay him any attention.
Post # 5
@julies1949: he’s asked her to marry him, and she said yes, but it’s not common information. not to say that an engagement isn’t real without a ring, but there’s no ring, no family announcement. still though, they’ve been together for around a year, it’s pretty much a set relationship.
solely based on etiquette, bridesmaid + serious relationship = plus one.
i (sorely) wish the personal offense was enough of a reason to cross him off the list. He’s made my FMIL cry several times and (for multiple reasons, without going into detail) she has openly stated that she wouldn’t attend their wedding.
I know I’ll be seeing unicorns and rainbows at our wedding, and I doubt he’d do anything offensive there. so, take the high road, invite him to our awesome party, and dance the night away? I guess so.
Post # 6
You cannot give others a plus one and not extend it to her.
Post # 7
eliwhit – I’m glad that you’re “biting the bullet” and inviting this fella, regardless of what he’s done in the past. You’ll avoid any family tension, which you definitely don’t want as you prepare for your wedding day and thereafter. In all honesty, you may see this guy a couple times during the reception and that’s it. Plus, you’ll be “on cloud nine” and NOTHING can ruin the day that you pledge your love and committment to your fiance’! Everything will be okay!
Post # 8
Don’t even think about him! You pretty much have to invite him, but like you said, you’ll be so wrapped up in your night and your hubby that you don’t need to worry about an immature little boy. Don’t worry about him for one more minute! 🙂
Post # 9
That does sound like a tough position to be in. If i were you, I’d leave it up to your FI. You don’t want to be the mean bridezilla.