(Closed) I don't want my future mother-in-law doing my hair for my wedding

posted 5 years ago in Beauty
Post # 3
3092 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Ack I get this too…my family is always pushing my cousin on me, “she can do your hair and nails and all the bridesmaid’s nails etc etc…”  She did my hair for me back in HS when I went to prom and I wasn’t in love with it. 

But, our strategy is just no thank you, we want family to enjoy the day. 

Post # 4
11752 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Definitely don’t lead her on and let her think she is going to do it. Just let her know that you really want her to enjoy being a part of your big day as the mother of the groom and not as a vendor. 

Post # 5
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

I would tell her that it’s really important that everyone sits back, relaxes, and enjoys the day together and you want all the ladies to get ready together, so you’re thinking of hiring someone, but you’d love it if she did your hair for your (insert event here – rehearsal dinner maybe?  bridal shower?) and choose something super, duper simple lol

Post # 7
9142 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@GreenSkittle:  Book a hairdresser ASAP then tell her you booked a stylist because you want her to enjoy the day and not have to work. Plus, it is bonding time with your mom and/or your maids. If she pushes just tell her you want a certain style and the stylist you booked is really good at that style.

Post # 8
378 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I would go with what one of the other bees said.. About how you want her to be there as family, and relax and not have to work.  


As a teacher, I’m always aware of the exact words I say in order to not elicite a response I don’t want, lol.  So, don’t say.. “Ohh, I’m just not sure.. I don’t want you to have to worry and be busy, I want you to relax”..  She might say, “don’t worry about me!  I’ll be fine!”.  

What you should say instead is.. “I want to keep my family relaxed so they can enjoy the day, so I’m going with X so you can enjoy getting yourself ready”.  but the looks disappointed, I would add.. “Plus, ill probably need help with other things the day of!!”

Post # 9
1022 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@GreenSkittle:   I’d just let her knwwo you want her to be there and ENJOY the day, and not stress over things like that.

Post # 10
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Taghkanic State Park

@futuremrsk18:  +1

Asking her to do one of the smaller events is a good idea. 🙂

Post # 11
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Buy yourself a gift card at the salon where you want your hair to be done. Then, tell her you “won” bridal services there and she no longer has to work on your wedding day. Then discuss haristyles with her (and perhaps take her to a trial or two) to get her ‘input’ so she feels included.

Also, it will help, if for logistical reasons, you need to get your hair done super early AM, then she can feel free to sleep in 🙂

Post # 12
96 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Tell her you appreciate the offer but you REALLY want her to enjoy herself on the day.

Tell her you always imagined getting your hair and make-up done at the same time as your mother & your Mother-In-Law, that it would ve symbolic and meaningful to have one on each side of you.

Just play up the sentimental factor.

Post # 13
9 posts

Yikes! Maybe you can tell her that you already have somebody ( a friend maybe?) that’s going to do your hair? But thank her for the offer and leave it at that 🙂

Good luck!

P.S you’re getting maried on my birthday! lol

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