Post # 1
I know my wedding isn’t for a while, but I’m in a sticky situation and I need advice!
My future mother-in-law is a hairdresser and she assumes she’s doing my hair for my wedding. I love her, but I don’t like how she does hair. She did my hair for a special occasion once and I hated it. It didn’t look at all like the style I showed her, even though it was a simple style. I’ve seen pictures of other styles she’s done and I didn’t like them, either. She also doesn’t have any experience with wedding hair. I know it seems so insignificant, but I want to feel and look beautiful on my big day, and I know I won’t if I hate my hair. How do I tell her that I don’t want her to do my hair without insulting her? I know I’ve got time, but she keeps bringing it up and I don’t know what to tell her.
Post # 3
Ack I get this too…my family is always pushing my cousin on me, “she can do your hair and nails and all the bridesmaid’s nails etc etc…” She did my hair for me back in HS when I went to prom and I wasn’t in love with it.
But, our strategy is just no thank you, we want family to enjoy the day.
Post # 4
Definitely don’t lead her on and let her think she is going to do it. Just let her know that you really want her to enjoy being a part of your big day as the mother of the groom and not as a vendor.
Post # 5
I would tell her that it’s really important that everyone sits back, relaxes, and enjoys the day together and you want all the ladies to get ready together, so you’re thinking of hiring someone, but you’d love it if she did your hair for your (insert event here – rehearsal dinner maybe? bridal shower?) and choose something super, duper simple lol
Post # 6
Thanks, ladies! It’s a sticky situation because I don’t want to insult her, but I also don’t want to hate my hair on my wedding day, you know? But that’s a good way to put it!
Post # 7
- Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL
@GreenSkittle: Book a hairdresser ASAP then tell her you booked a stylist because you want her to enjoy the day and not have to work. Plus, it is bonding time with your mom and/or your maids. If she pushes just tell her you want a certain style and the stylist you booked is really good at that style.
Post # 8
I would go with what one of the other bees said.. About how you want her to be there as family, and relax and not have to work.
As a teacher, I’m always aware of the exact words I say in order to not elicite a response I don’t want, lol. So, don’t say.. “Ohh, I’m just not sure.. I don’t want you to have to worry and be busy, I want you to relax”.. She might say, “don’t worry about me! I’ll be fine!”.
What you should say instead is.. “I want to keep my family relaxed so they can enjoy the day, so I’m going with X so you can enjoy getting yourself ready”. but the looks disappointed, I would add.. “Plus, ill probably need help with other things the day of!!”
Post # 9
@GreenSkittle: I’d just let her knwwo you want her to be there and ENJOY the day, and not stress over things like that.
Post # 10
- Wedding: September 2013 - Lake Taghkanic State Park
Asking her to do one of the smaller events is a good idea. 🙂
Post # 11
Buy yourself a gift card at the salon where you want your hair to be done. Then, tell her you “won” bridal services there and she no longer has to work on your wedding day. Then discuss haristyles with her (and perhaps take her to a trial or two) to get her ‘input’ so she feels included.
Also, it will help, if for logistical reasons, you need to get your hair done super early AM, then she can feel free to sleep in 🙂
Post # 12
Tell her you appreciate the offer but you REALLY want her to enjoy herself on the day.
Tell her you always imagined getting your hair and make-up done at the same time as your mother & your Mother-In-Law, that it would ve symbolic and meaningful to have one on each side of you.
Just play up the sentimental factor.
Post # 13
Yikes! Maybe you can tell her that you already have somebody ( a friend maybe?) that’s going to do your hair? But thank her for the offer and leave it at that 🙂
P.S you’re getting maried on my birthday! lol