Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2014 - Historic Rosemont Manor
Hi Bees. I’m in a bit of an odd predicament. I’m dreading my wedding. I want to call it off so badly. it’s not my fiance, I love him dearly, but rather the parents. my parents despise his parents and his parents hate mine. we have tried everything short of professional counseling and we’re out of options. My parents refuse to see his parents in any sort of positive light at all and when I offer them a positive thought, they tell me I’m being brainwashed. His parents aren’t much better.
The bad part of everything? My wedding is in 10 days. I anticipate this problem only getting worse as the years go on and I don’t see the point in having my special day when I know it will most likely be ruined by one of our parents. Any advice at all is appreciated.
Post # 2
I’m sorry. Try to keep them far away from each other as possible. Lol. I only hope that they can be as mature as possible and be cordial with each other for your guy’s special day. I would hate that they would be so selfish to let their personal feelings for each other ruin your wedding.
ETA: I would maybe have you and FI talk to your parents and his parents, separately, and let them know your concerns and if they can please just put their differences aside for one day. That it’ll mean the world to you guys. They want to see their kids happy, I’m sure they will be different, emotional, once the ceremony and party starts.
Post # 3
Focus on what’s important- your FI, soon to be DH!
You are never going to make the parents like each other. What you can do after the wedding is draw clear boundaries. Whenever one set starts talking about the other, call a halt to it by telling them you are not going to listen and if necessary you will leave. Then follow through.
Post # 4
This must be such a hard situation for you to be in 🙁
I wish I could offer some advice but unfortunately having never been in a similar position I don’t have much.
I do think you need to focus on your FI and how much you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him.
Sit down with your parents and explain to them that this is your day and they need to suck it up for the day and just be happy for you without mentioning their dislike of his family. And have him do the same. Try to get them to understand that this is your day and they should put their own feelings aside for you.
Post # 5
This will likely never change. It is too late to elope without losing money and disappointing the people who are not adding stress to your life right now. Sit them far apart. I would hope that for one day, they can keep it together for the benefit of you both. You can split holidays, etc. They hate each other, but not the two of you, so it is more manageable than you think. There will have to be boundaries set up if you have kids in the future, though. Again, they need to behave like adults. Please, do not let them ruin your day! If necessary, keep your distance from them on that day. Unless the wedding is super small, you will be too busy to deal with them much anyway. I wish you the best, and congrats on your lovely wedding!