I don't want this wedding anymore *sigh* (long, sry)

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
632 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@icanhearyousmile: I had a bit of the same issues – mostly problems with my future in laws and I felt the same way you did.  However – I tried to see the good and focus on the people who were there to support us.  In the end, everything ended up great because it was a beautiful day and we were surrounded by the people who cared about us and we avoided those who were rude.  I had a great time and focused on the fact that all went right because at the end of the night I was married to my husband and all that little trivial BS drama didn’t matter.  However – had my mom not paid for and wanted a huge wedding I would have preferred eloping 🙂

Just an FYI – things with my in-laws are still pretty hairy – we have only seen his sister once since the wedding 5 months ago – and we didnt look at or speak to her.  And we have only seen his parents 2-3 times but they seem to be warming up again.

Problems below:



Post # 4
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Oh hun, I’m sorry this process has been such a pain in the ass.  I too have a very opinionated MIL, but after the wedding things relaxed SO MUCH.  Hang in there- your wedding will be beautiful, you will be beautiful, and you will be married to a wonderful person.

It took a lot of introspection for me to appreciate how involved MIL was, but one little change in perspective really helped me deal with it:  My MIL was bent out of shape about the BM’s shoes, my choice of wedding colors, and about a million and one other things… the one thing she DIDN’T complain about though, was her son’s choice in a life partner.  All the energy she put into making my life more stressful could have been put into breaking us up.  She was being ridiculous about the wedding because she cares about her son, not because she didn’t care about me.  I hope this helps a little bit 🙂

Post # 5
333 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I feel the same , I mostly don’t want it because the thought of having to come up with all that money is freaking me out 

Post # 6
2562 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Oh, hun I am SO SORRY you have to deal with all this drama.

I hope your FMIL knows that she’s being an asshat. And I certainly hope you and your FH decide to keep her away from your new family once you two are married – she really sounds like nothing but trouble.

Your MoH is being immature about participating in your wedding and yes, secretly it’s awesome that the Best Woman called her out on her diet but I agree – bad timing!

As for fainting in your dress… I don’t know why that would happen. Nerves? Too tight bodice? Have you had your iron levels checked lately?

The good news is that it’s almost over!
You have a little more than a month to go – it will go by so quickly!

So here’s my question… what have you been doing through all this stress to treat yourself? Go get a massage, or a pedicure, or a facial. Maybe just soak in the bathtub with some candles and soft music or just find a quiet spot with a glss of wine and a book? Go to the expensive grocery store and treat yourself to the good kind of chocolate?
Whatever you do, you most certainly deserve it!

Post # 7
538 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I am so sorry you are going through this. You are NOT alone! I feel the exact same way. I am not canceling my wedding because of embarrassment and because it would break my mom’s heart because I am her only daughter. Just breathe and try and take it one day at a time.


Post # 9
3047 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@icanhearyousmile: I’m so sorry for all the things you’re going through right now, that must be rough. I won’t lie, I had doubts about our wedding before it happened and it wasn’t the greatest experience (I wrote a post about it if you want details). In retrospect, I would have been happier if we had eloped. However, there’s a few things you can do to make sure that the day gets a little better:

1) Stick to calm people! If you know that a certain someone will cause stress, minimize the contact you’ll have. I stuck to my bridesmaids for dear life and they really saved me

2) Plan and delegate, don’t think that people will magically step up and see what needs to be done. This won’t happen. You’ll have to make sure that your parents have things to do, or there’s a high chance that they’ll pester you with questions non stop

3) Try to get some sleep the night before. Knock down some sleeping pills if that’s what required, but just try to be rested. I was tired like crazy and that didn’t help

4) If you can, get away from the craziness of family/friends as soon as you can after the wedding. We left for France 3 days after ours, I now wish we had left the reception directly for the airport

In the end of the day, comfort yourself with the fact that you’ll get married to your best friend forever. As soon as I get sad thinking about my wedding day I look down on my wedding band and think about what it symbolizes, that makes EVERYTHING better. Hugs!

Post # 10
546 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

@icanhearyousmile:  I am sorry you are going through this…I feel the same thing right now..I want to get married to m FI, but I dont want this wedding anymore….I am crying almost every day..My fiance is being very supportive, but it is not changing anything..because we already paid over 10k in non refundable deposits; and there is no way we can cancel..

I truly hope you will find the way to fix your problems and will feel better very soon 🙂 A lot of us go through tons of stress before the wedding…and there is not much we can do about it..


Post # 11
17 posts
  • Wedding: May 2013

Believe me, I went through the thinking it was going to be magical, and the planning turning into a headache and making comments to my FI that we should just elope. I didn’t have too many people to help me. One of my MoH’s was in college and very busy, which annoyed me for awhile. She seemed like she had a lack of interest in helping, but then right before the wedding it all came together and pulled through with the help of her and all my other wonderful bridesmaids, parents, etc. My MoH and one of my bridesmaids likes the sound of eloping over a regular wedding because of all the work and stress that goes into one! I can say though, I didn’t have the drama you do. I am very thankful my MIL is not pushy, in fact, she’s so much the opposite of a typical MIL, that she didn’t really want to give me suggestions on wedding planning because she didn’t want to get in the way. But, although these things are really annoying now, you did get some of the work done, and when it’s all said and done, you will probably be happy that you had a wedding that you can look back on and have memories of. You should defintitely talk to your FMIL though, and tell her that it’s your and your fiance’s wedding, that she had her own chance to have things her way once upon a time, and this is your day and you want to have the joy of planning something that’s your dream! Your wedding is only less than two months away anyway, so it’s kind of too late to cancel; so just try to work things out and work on other wedding plans, and the time should go by so fast! Just look forward to the Sunday after your wedding, when you can relax and be glad it’s over, but glad it happened!

Post # 13
615 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014


Have a secret wedding. Don’t tell anyone about it.

Like Jim and Pam from the Office.

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