Post # 1
UGH, complicated!!! Please help!!
My cousin’s wedding is next weekend in SoCal. Me, my Fiance, and my sister (we all live in NorCal) have RSVP’d yes. My sister is also bringing a guest (who lives in SoCal). Here WAS the plan: I am already going to be in SoCal next weekend, and Fiance & my sister were going to drive down together. Then we 4 would meet up (me, Fiance, sister and date) to go to wedding!
HOWEVER… my Fiance now MUST be in Utah for work the day after the wedding. Came up last minute, unavoidable. It would be a huge burden on him to travel down to SoCal then back up to NorCal in order to fly to Utah. Do you think that is an acceptable reason for him not to show up? And should I tell my cousin, the bride??
ALSO – if he doesn’t go down to SoCal, my sister doesn’t have a ride (she can’t afford a plane ticket, especially this late in the game). So then it’s like a domino effect… if my Fiance doesn’t come, that creates 3 vacant seats — him, my sister, and my sister’s date!
And then… I would have to go all alone! Which I do not want to do!! I am not reallly close to that side of the family, etc. So then it’s like FOUR vacant seats if he doesn’t go and I decide not to go!
But this is like the RUDEST thing, to not show up at a wedding. What should I do???!!! Ok sorry that was so long & complicated but I’m really worried
Post # 3
1) Can you and your sister drive to SoCal w/out your FI?
Edit: Sorry! I didn’t realize you were already going to be in SoCal without your Fiance. My second suggestion stands.
2) Can your Fiance fly out of SoCal to Utah? (sorry, don’t know much about CA so maybe this is not possible)
Post # 4
You need to tell the bride about this in advance. We were able to fill a few seats in the last minute.
Post # 5
Can he fly to Utah directly from SoCal? When I had to travel last minute for work, my boss was really accomedating about flying out of / in to whatever airport would work for me, as long as the price wasn’t insanely different. Since you’re talking NorCal vs SoCal, and not like Georgia or something, I wouldn’t think it would change the cost too much? Can’t hurt to ask.
Post # 6
Can your Fiance fly from SoCal? Has his office already bought the ticket?
If he can, he can drive down with your sister, and then your sister and date can return with the car?
Post # 7
This late in the planning I do think it would be rude. It is unlikely that the bride would be able to fill your seats last minute. She won’t get a refund on your food because her numbers probably had to be in weeks ago and she has already purchased the centerpiece, favor, etc. for the 4 of you.
It might not be the easiest thing for your Fiance to do, but etiquette wise it would be best for him to do the extra traveling. If you all decide not to go, you do need to let your cousin know ASAP, and send a very nice gift.
Post # 8
Is there any other way (train or bus) for your sister to get to SoCal? I would be so sad if 3 or 4 people couldn’t attend the wedding. I’d be more than understanding if 1 couldn’t, but you should definitely 1. Tell the bride ASAP and 2. Try to figure out an alternative ASAP. Good luck!
Post # 9
Circumstances come up & people can’t make it sometimes, its life. However, you MUST tell the bride! You shouldn’t even have to think about that… how hurt you would be if people just didn’t show up to your wedding?
Four people, that’s 1/2 a table…. since you RSVP’d yes & your sister is relying on him, you definitely need to make it work!
Post # 10
I can’t drive my sister down, I am leaving for SoCal tomorrow morning and will be there for an extended period of time — she has to stay here and work, was just going down for the wedding.
Fiance is asking his work if he can fly out of SoCal, I am not sure what they’ll say. Maybe yes, maybe not. But even if they DO say yes, my sister cannot return with the car because she is a very inexperienced driver and not insured, so it’s just not a safe situation for her to drive alone. And I will still be in SoCal longer, so I’m no help.
Post # 11
Definitely tell the bride.. if 4 people cant come she may be able to fill the seats so it might work out! If not yea can he fly out from SoCA to Utah?
Post # 12
1) Tell the bride immediately.
2) If at all possible, get everyone to the wedding that RSVP’d yes. How would you feel if she did the same thing to you?
Post # 13
Okay, now that you have updated, my suggestions are this:
1) Have your fiance try to fly out of SoCal and have your sister take a train or bus back if she can’t afford plane tickets.
2) Have your fiance drive to SoCal for the wedding and go back up to NorCal with your sister and fly out of there for work.
3) Have your sister take a bus or whatever both ways and have 3 out of 4 of you go.
4) I would tell your cousin about your plans ASAP because I’m sure she has her final count in and won’t be able to get anyone else to come.
Post # 14
I am asking if I should tell the bride only because I really don’t know what to do, not because I want to be rude and hurt her! Of course I don’t want to do that. But my friend got married last year, and she was complaining to me that people called her the day before the wedding and said they couldn’t make it… she said she was in full “bride/wedding/happy mode” and could not believe people were calling her to burden her with that stuff. That is why I was like… ok is it really bad to call the bride and tell her depresing stuff right before the wedding??!!
Also – the wedding is going to be about 300 people… not that it isn’t rude to pull out at the last minute with that many people! 🙁
I think that I will DEFINITELY go even if I have to go alone, because I feel really bad about all this. But the 3 vacant seats… ugh it is friggin terrible.
@jennifer_espos: my sister could travel by train but she has no money for a train ticket either, it’s pretty expensive
Post # 15
could you rent a car for the one way drive? then return it? it doesnt help her get back but there are cheap last minute flights or allegiant air or something!
Post # 16
@Marinara: Bus, maybe? Wayyyy cheaper than the train.