Post # 1
So I hate to ask this, but how does one tactfully (is there a way?) to ask my friend and former roommate about bringing FI to her wedding? My invite just says my name but I don’t know many people going, it is mostly her socialite parent’s friends. I really don’t want to be that person who drags along uninvited guests…but I’m engaged! I was under the understanding that engaged couples are considered a social unit and should be invited together.
If I weren’t driving a couple hours to this, I wouldn’t mind that much. But it’s a little far for me to want to go alone. Especially since we have to drive back the same day. So….advice? Just leave it and go alone? Ask about bringing FI? Something else? TIA.
Post # 3
@chasesgirl: Is there a way to drop into conversation that you’re looking forward to her wedding but not so excited about making the trip by yourself? Of course, if it was me, and it was a good friend, I would probably say something like “so what’s up with the no invite for ____?”
Post # 4
Unless you know the girl really well, I’d be hesitant about asking her. Does she know you are engaged? If not, maybe it was an oversight. But if she knows you are and didn’t invite your FI…that’s a different story. If it were me, I’d just decline the invitation. I’d not make a fuss about why, I’d just decline. If she asked me why, however, I’d tell her.
Post # 5
does the response card say anything about the # of people invited? (but that would be too easy)
how close are you with her? if close, then i would just ask, but just be prepared for it to be a super touchy subject
do you know anyone else who is going? were they given guests/dates/+1s? that might be a good indicator of how she’s giving guests
Post # 6
I’m not sure if anyone else I know is invited, the only ones I can think of that might aren’t in any kind of relationship, let alone engaged. And she knows, she has commented on the pictures on FB. We did live together for a year and were good friends but we haven’t been close in about 6 months.
Post # 7
Maybe just mention it like you’re confused about if he’s invited or not– try to put the blame on yourself and maybe she won’t feel awkward. I don’t know– tough situation. You could say something like, “Hey– I don’t mean to be an idiot or anything (laugh) but your invitation wording confused me. Is FH invited or…?”
But then if he’s not invited and you choose not to attend, the reason for your absence will be obvious.
Post # 8
Personally I don’t really think there’s any way to do it tactfully. She didn’t invite your FI for a reason (space, cost, etc.), so unfortunately my advice if you’re not willing to go alone would be to rsvp no. If you’re good friends with the girl she’ll probably ask you why you said no. You can explain then.
Post # 9
@MrsMcGyro: Best way to go about it.
Post # 10
agree with MrsMcGyro.
plus ones are SO hard. Sometimes you just have to allow the bride to do it the way she needs to.
Post # 11
I would ask her but I’d say something like “Don’t feel obligated to invite them at all but I just wanted to double-check that the invitation did not include my fiance”.
I had this happen to me and I had legitimately screwed up the invite. I was glad my friend asked for clarification rather than just rsvp no.
Post # 12
@chasesgirl: I would just call her up and ask nicely. You could say that you were just wondering for the same reasons you have said here. Say something like, “I know that my invitation didn’t have a plus one indicated, so i just wanted to clarify if you had room for my fiance because it’s a bit of a long drive by myself.” It might have just been an oversight. I do think that your FI should have been invited considering you’re getting married. If she says no I’m sorry there is no room for plus ones than politely decline and be done with it. She shouldn’t expect you to travel alone. That is not courteous and it sure isn’t safe for a women to travel to another city alone, especially if you’ll be leaving the reception at night.
Post # 13
I don’ t think this as big of a deal as some Bee’s make it out to be. It is probably an oversight. Just ask her. I agree with JenniMichele, just say you weren’t quite sure and that you didn’t want to step on any toes by just bringing him.
Post # 14
This isn’t 1905. She’s not going to be kidnapped if she goes to a wedding by herself.
Post # 15
I’f it were me… I’d just ask… and if she said no I’d say okay I can’t come either… but then again that’s just me (I don’t go anywhere without my FI)
Post # 16
I think you should just ask her – it’s rude for her not to invite your fiance. How would she feel if you invited only her (and not her husband) to your wedding? Fiances and spouses are in the same category – you can’t split a couple.
Personally, I’d just call her up and tell her how nice it was to get the invite but that you won’t be able to attend since you don’t want to drive alone. That would give her a chance to correct the mistake (if it was an oversight) or extend an invitation (if it was intentional).