Post # 1
So obviously I have created a new name to write this posted because I wanted it to be anonymous. I am a fairly active member of the community and lately I have a ton going on in my personal life and I just don’t know how much more I can take. I have had huge issues with my FI’s family; in particular his brother and his future wife. They are getting married in a couple of weeks and much drama has ensued through this entire process. We are finally 2.5 weeks away and I am feeling better about everything that has happened, and truly I am so excited for them, so I decided to offer to take some bridals for her (via Facebook message) so we could spend some time alone and possibly work on our relationship. She wrote back and kindly denied explaining that she already has someone taking them when they return from the honeymoon. Fine, I understand, no problem. Then, she continues on in a new paragraph (for about 2 pages I might add) about everything she has been having issues with my FI and I about. How we never want to hang out, how we blow them off, how we have no regard for their feelings, ect, ect. (which I do not agree with) UGH! So I wrote her a text message explaining that I got her message and that I needed some time to think about how to respond. I took about 2 days and finally wrote a short to the point reply expressing my frustration and disagreement with her, and explained that we are doing our best. She deletes me and blocks me on Facebook. I am fine with this because I do believe it is the best. It causes so much drama. Well now the wedding is two weekends from now and I just do not want to go. I promise you I just hate the thought of having to go! I mean her friends (bridesmaids) have talked crap about me publicly, I have had issues with one of the guests attending touching on my FI and ended up having to address that. They have stated they never supported our engagement, they have asked me to hold off planning my wedding until theirs was over (back in October of last year). SO. MUCH. CRAP! I JUST DON’T WANT TO FREAKING GO! I know I am being a winey baby, but the amount of discomfort this is going to give me is just nauseating to think about. My FI is a groomsman, so I will attend alone until the reception. Also uncomfortable. The saddest part is knowing that this girl has messed around with other men and watching her marry my FBIL and sitting back and watching it all happen. I just don’t want to deal with this anymore!
Sorry I needed to vent! My FI and I are currently in the middle of an argument about this as always! For some reason we always have to fight about it. :/
Post # 3
woah woah woah they asked YOU not to PLAN YOUR wedding?!? are you kidding??
Post # 4
Wow that’s crazy. Unfortunately, he is your FI’s brother and he will always be in your life. I think the four of you need to sit down because you need to work on your relationship. I think this completely crazy that they didn’t want you to plan your wedding until theirs was over and that their friends talk crap about you and your FI.
Post # 5
okay does FBIL know about the cheating? I guess it was??
If so then that’s all on him. I think that you should go so you can support your man. I recently went to a wedding where my “SIL” did not attend and her husband was a groomsmen. It was not my wedding, and the bride and i were on very thin ice, but that made me mad. lol she should have been there for her husband(the groomsmen). I really don’t have much advice beyond that except to be nice to her, just don’t treat her like a piece of glass. She’s family now, so in a way you’re stuck with her lol.
Maybe you could try to talk to her again and let her know that you weren’t trying to be mean to her or hurt them on purpose?
I really think that she might be jealous of you and not wanting to share any spot light.
Post # 6
I would go to the wedding part and just pop into the reception, and then go home or somewhere fun. While FI may be obligated to stay, you are not. Like you, I would not want to go period.
Post # 7
This woman sounds like a piece of work. I’m sorry but at some point we cannot just block people on facebook to solve our problems. Why would she even say anything to you at all if she didn’t want a response or want to talk it out. Sounds very childish to me and you don’t need that. Your FI is in a tough spot because it is family, but you guys will work it out. Ugh! I’m so sorry you are dealing with this!
Post # 8
First, I am so sorry for all that you’re dealing with. Does your FBIL know about the cheating? If he doesn’t, does your FI? That seems like an awful situation to go into a marriage with. It is completely ridiculous that they would even suggest that you not plan your wedding until theirs was over (it sounds like six months between when they asked and now – that’s just insane!) because you’re PLANNING, it’s not like you’re getting married the next day! Second, I would suck it up and go – at least to the ceremony, and then make an appearance at the reception. You wouldn’t want to not be there for your future husband and FBIL. Be happy for them, be the bigger person, and just spend time with the people you enjoy (hopefully the rest of your FI family). Good luck!
Post # 9
UGH…You ever watched a movie where after it is over you thought to yourself. WOW…That women showed more class than anyone I have ever seen? I want the ability to ACT like that. WELL…….This is one of those opportunities. Just because someone else acts like an ASS doesn’t mean you have to take it ON. You go to that wedding and have a great time. BE the one in the family that walks with grace, charm and kindness. (A hard thing to do when you feel like you have been talked about) BUT…trust me! Nothing makes people more confused (when they take the high road) then someone who is walking with class! I say kill em with kindness!
Good luck to you! Who knows! This could be fun! And I’m sure your FI will appreciate not fighting with you about it anymore! Let him know you love him and are going to be by his side with grace!
Post # 10
I agree with Gotitang. If you ever want to work things out in the future, then going to the wedding is a good stepping stone. If you don’t go, it seems like you might just be giving her more fuel against you. Go, be a lady, and be the bigger person.
I know it will be hard but you might feel better about it when it’s all over.