- 4 years ago
- Wedding: August 2013
Bees, need some advice. We’re just in the middle of sending out our invites and there’s a girl (Lisa) who was one of FI’s childhood friends whom I really don’t want to invite but might have to. A little back story, I met FI when we were 19, dated for a few months but broke up and started dating again 3 years later. When we first dated, he introduced Lisa to me as one of his close female friends, it was great, she was sweet, funny and got along well. When FI and I broke up, Lisa and I remained friends. For the next 3 years, Lisa and I hung out once in a while, coffee, clubbing, etc.
FI and I started hanging out/talking again 2 years after we broke up. During this renewed friendship, Lisa specifically told me “you guys will NEVER get back together”
After a year of being friends again, FI & I started dating. When I told Lisa, she was quiet and speechless, and showed no happiness for me and said “are you sure that’s what you want?” I didn’t think much of it and left it at that.
After that whenever FI and I hung out, I always suggested we call out Lisa, which we did. It was good for the first while, but then I noticing Lisa started talking to me less. And she was becoming possessive over FI and was always insinuating that she had more leverage over me because she known him longer. Dinners and outings constantly consisted of Lisa bringing up past events with her and Fi before I met FI, and always trying to leave me out of conversations. She had absolutely no respect for me as his girlfriend.
FI & Lisa lived in the same city (at that time) and I lived 1hr away from them. Whenever they came to pick me up to go out, I thought it weird that Lisa would always take the front seat even though I was his gf. Not that she was just lazy to move, he had a two door car so she would have to get out to let me into the car regardless but she would always make sure I was in the back seat. I didn’t think much of it at the time.
One time FI and I had a huge fight and Lisa told me I should break up with him, I didn’t even know how to respond to that!
The more we hung out, she only ever talked DIRECTLY to Fi and never directly to me. I would comment on things, she would look at me and then turn back to talk only to FI. She did this constantly for the longest time, I got so sick of it and I stopped calling her to hang out, no texts, no facebook comments/posts to her. Eventually we only ever saw each other maybe twice a year at friends events and it became really awkward. She only msged FI once in a while from this point on, never me, but I was fine with it.
When we got engaged, she found out via FB and she texted Fi to say congrats, he didn’t reply back to her and she flipped out on him again a week later. He said sorry he was busy but that we would see her at the wedding in 2013. Well, about 8 or 9 months ago, she posted something emo about friendship and fake friends etc and then deleted us the next day on fb. He hasn’t had contact with her since.
I found out a year ago from a friend of Lisa’s that she’s had a thing for Fi for the longest time but FI never reciprocated the feelings.
So now after all this, FI says we still have to invite her because he already told her she was invited in that text from over a year ago. But I honestly don’t want to! Would it be horrible if he invited her through text over a year ago and then end up not inviting her?