Post # 1
No relationship issues this time….Mr. Rosie is wonderful. This time its my boss.
I just started a new job about a month and a half ago and I love it. Its a great place, I love the team, I love the work. I am in New York and since we have been hit by Sandy, I;ve been working from home the whole week. My boss, who is only a few years older than me, is displaced since her apartment doesnt have power, etc. and she is staying with a friend very close to my house. We met up for lunch the other day to check in which was nice but now she has invited me out to party with her friends for her birthday tomorrow. I think shes totally cool and chill and fun and I want to hang out but I’m also scared of being too familiar, drinking, cursing too much (i restrain myself at work) that kind of thing.
am I being weird? is this what bosses do now?
Post # 3
I wouldn’t. Some work places have strict rules about managers/bosses and employees hanging out outside of work.
Post # 4
I understand your hesitation. I am a total lightweight, and wouldn’t want to embarass myself in front of a boss or CWs after a few drinks. If you’re worried about appearing to be a stick-in-the-mud, maybe meet her for one drink.
Post # 5
Eh, I wouldn’t read too much into it. I hang out with coworkers and supervisors/bosses that are around my age outside of work. Of course, I wouldn’t get shitfaced or anything like that. :p But as long as it isn’t frowned upon by your office culture and you think it could be fun, go for it.
Post # 6
While it is really nice that she wants to include you, I also understand your concern. I second the idea to meet out for one drink. You could say that you have previous plans but wanted to stop by and wish her a happy birthday.
Post # 7
Its important to “play” when your boss wants to play- for career growth. But no one says you have to drink or to stay as long as she does. Go, have something non-alcoholic- and leave within a time frame you are comfortable with.
Post # 8
Eh, that is awkward.
If this is a “once in awhile” thing, I’d say it’s ok. But if it starts happening too often, you might have to duck out. It’s cool to be “friendly” with your boss, but there is a fine line that shouldn’t be crossed (on your end or hers).
If you get together once every few months to have a drink or lunch, great. But if she’s inviting you out to a club/bar every Friday and you guys are getting trashed and stuffing money in stripper’s thongs . . . eh, things may have gone too far. lol.
Just trust your instincts and try and keep things balanced.
Post # 9
@retreadbride: +1. Building a positive relationship with the boss is always a good thing. You just have to make sure you always think of her as a boss and not as a friend. Go to the party, don’t drink very much, be polite to everyone, leave early, and act professionally.
Post # 10
I would go. Just don’t get too drunk. 🙂
Post # 11
I think you should go – hanging out when your boss wants to hang out is part of playing the game. But remember to keep it professional and that you are at a “work” outing. Don’t get drunk and keep yourself in check.
There was a good article I read about this a few weeks ago, but I can’t seem to find it…although there are a ton of articles on the subject if you play around with Google for additional tips.
Post # 12
My department at work goes to baseball games and clubs and bars together, so I don’t think it’s weird at all! We’re all around the same age and get along well, so why not?
Post # 13
Definitely go, but let her know in advance that you can only stay for a bit. Be on your best behavior, but don’t be too paranoid if she and her friends seem nice (and classy).
Post # 14
I haaaaate work parties. I’d avoid them if they weren’t basically mandatory.
Post # 15
I definitely think you should go. I think not going might actually look worse than anything you could do while being there.
My husband is “the boss” at our company and he definitely likes the employees who come to some of his not-work-related parties over the ones who never come lol.
Post # 16
I would go. It actually can be a positive thing to make an appearance. Just don’t treat it like a regular night out with your close personal girlfriends. Have a drink or two, be social and polite and leave early. I wouldn’t think too much of it. But I would make an effort to go at least for a little while.