I don't want to plan anymore.

posted 3 years ago in March 2014
Post # 3
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Do you have any close family members? Sisters, your mom? What about your MOH and BMs, can you ask them to give you a hand with certain things?

And what about your groom? Where is he in all of this? Why isn’t he helping out?

Post # 6
Member
42510 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Make a list.

Do whatever you can by phone.

Keep it simple when it comes to centerpieces.

Let the groom do the legwork re the groomsmen’s suits.

Ask us for ideas if you need help.

Post # 7
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

@SouthernGirl:  then take a wedding break. You still have 3+ months. I agree to make a list, do all the things you absolutely HAVE to do RIGHT NOW. And then take a 2 week wedding break and don’t discuss anything wedding related and then get right back into it. And it will come really soon and be over really fast and then you’ll look back and miss it.

Post # 8
Member
237 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I like the idea of taking a short break. But during that break,  how about watching My Fair Wedding or shows like it for inspiration and to get you back excited about planning.  And keep it simple. If you need help with music editing or graphics/Photoshop, I can probably help a bit.  Feel free to private message me. 

Post # 9
Member
34 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@SouthernGirl:  I clicked on your post because I’m also getting married in March and feeling pretty overwhelmed. I’ve purchased very little for decor so far, we haven’t made our day-of timeline, picked our ceremony music, picked out groom and groomsmen attire, bought my wedding band or any bridal accessories, picked gifts for bridal party or ordered our invitations yet.

However…I do have help when I ask for it. I sit down with my fiance every few weeks and we set little deadlines for the next handful of tasks. He takes on his share so it’s not all on me. I had to ask for that to happen though. I also have bridesmaids and my future mother-in-law to bounce ideas off of, and they will help once I start my DIY projects. Of course I end up spending more time on this than my fiance, but that’s because I care more and have a distinct vision for how I want everything to look.

If no one’s offered to help by now, they’re probably not going to. Have you asked your fiance for help? It’s his wedding too after all. And reach out to anyone else you’re close with. People can’t read your mind; they won’t know you want help until you ask. They’ll probably be happy to be included. When we don’t ask for what we need, we tend to become resentful, and that’s not good for anyone. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
3394 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@SouthernGirl:  Don’t feel bad. My day is just over a month after yours and all I have done are written vows and invitation design. I haven’t even picked a dress or a wedding band. I’m having a super small wedding though, but still there are things to be done. I haven’t got a clue as to what we’ll be eating that day or how I might decorate. Or who will be marrying us. I also have no family to help.

I’ve just become sort or disinterested in the whole thing. Then, I’m sure, in February I’ll be freaking out. And I think it doesn’t help that three holidays show up right in the middle of planning time. FI’s answer to every question is “I don’t know anything about this stuff” Blah. The only advice I could give is maybe once you get started, determined to finish, get some momentum, maybe then you’ll get into it. Otherwise, at least know that you’re not alone.

Post # 11
Member
417 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

Its ok, just breathe, I think a lot of people feel like you do right now.  I know I do!  If it makes you feel better I still have a lot of the same things to do too and I’m getting married 2 weeks after you.  You aren’t alone.  Like you, my big things are done… I thought I’d feel more relief about checking them off and while I do, now that its the little things I feel like I’m back at the beginning. 

Send out a text for addresses one night while you’re watching tv, keep an address book handy and within an hour or 2 you’ll have almost everyone’s address written down.  That’s what I did and it was way less stressful.  As for your centerpieces, do you have bridesmaids?  What if you host a potluck, have everyone bring a dish and some wine and get to work on them?  This makes it less work, more fun.  The groomsmen and groom stuff, I wish I could help there, but I’m in the exact same boat with my fiance… Men, so lazy, but you gotta love them.  Gifts, I suggest getting a basic idea of what you want to give and head to etsy… they have so much stuff on there you’ll be done that in no time.  Linens, if you’re buying them… wait until after Christmas, SALES! 

Honestly though, just relax and try to keep having fun with the planning.  I know its far easier said than done.  Good luck and when you need to vent, come on back here, we’ll always listen and remind you that you aren’t alone.  Someone on here is always going through what you are. 

Post # 12
Member
90 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I think we all feel that way at one time or another.  I’m 40 days out and I still feel way too behind.  Is there anyone you go to for help?  My BM’s are helping with various things and I’ve also been giving FI a to-do list every week. 

Post # 14
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I just wanted to say to hang in there. Im wondering if you have a lot of other things going on in your life right now? I was EXTREMELY busy up until recently and wedding planning became the biggest chore! Which is crazy to me, because I was so excited and had been dreaming about the planning for the longest time. I didnt think Id get to that point but all the desicion making was not as fun as I anticipated.

All your work will be worth it. You get to marry your future hubby. At the end of the day thats all that really matters. Maybe your BMs dont need gifts? After all they havent been super helpful in the process.

It might be more help if you’re extremely direct about what you need help with. Tell her to pick out five songs she really likes for your wedding and that would be meaningful to her about love or whatever, and go from there.

 

Post # 15
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

My mom gave me a beautiful wedding planner book. I re-gifted  it after my wedding to a newly engaged friend because I never wrote in it, LOL.    I bought a dress right off the bat and then we procrastinated so long and planning whole wedding in 2 months.   Got darling invited from Minted.  did not get wrapped up in crafts, favors, or a million tiny details.  Booked a great caterer, flowers bought at wholesale market and arranged by my family, booked live music, bought keg beer from a craft brewery, wine from a wholesaler, had a killer maintai recipe, used my inlaws beautiful back yard with lots of party lights -candies-torches, chartered a party bus to import the guests. It was a huge success without too much stress, spent under $15k including a 2 week trip to Italy.   I could not IMAGINE spending a year planning a wedding and I truly understand your fatigue. 

Post # 16
Member
129 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

^^^^oh, and PS….we did not have a wedding party and for some crazy reason I think that further cut down the stress.  No bridal shower, either. 

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