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I thought that a registry was for people to know what you NEED. So why are people buying me things that I did not put on my registry, from the same store? I know this sounds ungreatful and bratty but it's been a rough week and it's rainy. 
Seriously!?! Dont they know how hard you worked on it? I hope the store has a good return policy.
I think, despite having registries, people will buy what they want to buy. It's a nice gesture, it's just a shame they don't use the tools provided...
ugh... i hate that too.... someone bought us a quilt... its totally not my style... and not on my registry... but there were 5 other blankets and quilts on there to choose from so i just dont get it.
ugh - i have the SAME rant. why are you giving me all this crap that i did not ask for and now we are trying to figure out where it came from cause we dont want it.
someone said, it looked like you had something like this on your registry, but i didnt have time to go to macys. grrrrrrrr.
i'd rather take the cash. that sounds horrible, but what do you do with all the junk people get you and you dont know where its from????
@kolsen206: some of the stuff I got that people scraped part of the barcode or price off of, I used the shop savvy app to scan it and figure out where it came from ;)
My friends got married last summer, and one of the groom's aunts gave them an entire Christmas-themed bathroom set. Cartoon Santa Claus shower curtain, toothbrush holder, soap dispenser, rugs, towels, EVERYTHING. Why'd she get it? "Bet nobody else will get you that!"
Man can I relate!! I just had my bridal shower a couple weeks ago and my MOH, who hosted the party, gave me a lovely gift basket full of stuff to take home. I really appreciate the gesture, and while a lot of it was cute, most of it was useless. Just to give you an idea:
1. We registered for dish towels to match our new kitchen theme--she put dish towels of her own choosing in the basket.
2. We registered for really nice stainless steel measuring spoons and cups--she got us some cheap plastic ones from walmart. The really annoying part is that we already have cheap plastic ones--and they're breaking. That's why we registered for new ones. Because cheap plastic ones are, well, CHEAP. GAAAH!
3. We registered for a really nice knife set that comes with a nice pair of kitchen scissors. She gave us a cheap pair from walmart.
The weirdest part is that she is my MOH, she hosted my bridal shower, and she KNOWS WHERE I AM REGISTERED. And if I needed the items that she bought--wouldn't I have registered for them????
ugh I hated this. I have only white plates and serving dishes. However, some of DH's family thought that was boring and bought me the same things in blue. Um, ok!?!?
@mwitter80: Something like that would have made me CRAZY.
It sort of feels ungrateful, but why would someone pick out your china for you??? Especially with that messaging.... "Oh, yours is boring. We like this better." OH I'm SO glad you bought this gift for YOU....geez. People are odd.
@BeSeeingYou: LOL. Wow, they really wanted to be unique huh? How irritating.
Because people buy you what they would use or what they would want. That is why we get gift returns. I know some of the gifts that they got me is because its what they like to use.
LOL, I understand. We ended up giving a lot of the stuff we couldn't return to my mom because her versions of whatever it was were really old and my mom is bad about spending money on herself for her own enjoyment. But yes, either way, it is frustrating!!
Ugh I hate when people do this.. Its like hello... I walked around the store for hours to pick out exactly what we needed and you totally decided to bypass all the items I put on my list to get something else? So frustrating! Im sorry.
I work at Target, and someone was having a wedding around Christmas. This lady came up with ornaments and a gift registry and I asked her if they were on the registry. She said, "Well she had ornaments on her registry, but I didn't like them, so I bought her there instead because I liked them." I just stared at her...like REALLY? If she wanted those ones, she would have put them on her registry.
I worked at Williams-Sonoma for 6 years. I cannot tell you how many people would pull a registry, you would show them plenty in their price range and they would say, "You know, I think I am going to get them a nice Mikasa crystal/silverplated/whatever picture frame. They'll want extra frames for all their wedding photos." I would always smile sweetly and say, "That's nice, then they can return it and get whatever they want. Did they register at Macy's?"
I must say--my guests were awesome about getting us registry items. We only got 1 gift that wasn't on a registry.
@norab2684: Don't feel bratty. This is definitely annoying. I love the personal gifts, but it's really annoying when someone sees "coffeemaker" on your registry and then decides to buy a different coffeemaker.
I had someone similar happen. I honestly just didn't take the stuff I actually registered off the registry. So, if I registered for white china bowls to go with my china and someone bought me other white china bowls, I kept the originals bowls on the registry.
No one said anything to me. Can you imagine THAT convo?!
I fee you! When we did our registry we put stuff down that we needed/wanted. DH and I were already living together so we already combined two houses and had a lot of duplicate stuff to go through and get rid of. It really annoyed me that people just bought whatever they wanted to. And we probably already had two of them at one point and we definately didn't need another one.
I'm worried about the same thing happening for our baby registry. I'm hoping people follow the registry so we don't end up with 5 baby bath tubs or something. And we have all the baby's bedding and room decor set up, so if somebody decides that they are going to buy extra bedding or blankets that don't match, it will really annoy me.
I had the same issue for my wedding and it was even worse at my baby shower. Out of my whole baby registry I got 3 things that we registered for... 3!!!! Like a pack of bottles and a thing of diapers which I really needed is going to set you back more than the outfit that you picked out that is the wrong size and the wrong season!
I have a hunch that some people don’t want to buy anything so they re-gift the things they got that were not on their registry! If you don’t want to go with items on the list or take the time to hunt them down (which can be a pain, as we have all had to buy gifts) then get a nice card and a gift certificate. Or get a group of friends, family, or co-workers together and get a big item as a group. I would rather 4 people get together to buy the $300 Dyson I have wanted for 6 years, than get 4 random gifts that I may or may not have really wanted. Because when you get that little gun in your hand you start scanning stuff that you may not really need, just so you have enough in every price range to make people happy.
Now that I have a registry I totally agree. However, whenever people have had baby showers in the past, I just buy them cute shit and never even look at the registry
Seriously--people are buying you a gift. They didnt have to get you anything. Be grateful. There are plenty of people in Alabama who have NOTHING now who I'm sure would LOVE to have half of what you are complaining about receiving.
I just don't understand it, they freak out and piss and moan when you dont' make a registry, but when you do they buy whatever they want.
I find it most strange of all that people would "enjoy" gifting things that aren't wanted. I feel joy in giving when I know that the person really wants and is happy about the gift. I find it really insulting that they apparently think they "know better" and know what you REALLY want. Gaahhh. (Can you tell I'm dealing with this issue with the future in laws right now? haha)
I've been lucky. For my shower, a few guests bought off-registry, but it was all stuff I like! They were also really good about including gift receipts. I did get quite a few spatulas and flippers as add ons though. At least those do wear out over time, so a few extras will prevent me from having to buy any for years. I might return some if I get more though!
So far, no one has bought a different brand or style of something we have registered for yet. We'll see if that changes.
This is reminding me of the first wedding ever went to as an "adult" guest and I bought them something totally random that was not on their registry. I don't know why I did that! i just didn't get it.
Once everyone started getting married and I was going to 3 or 4 weddings a year, I figured out why that was so wrong. Maybe some people were in my same boat, or if they are older, haven't gone to a lot of weddings recently and don't remember.
When I hang out with this girl, I still get slightly embarassed about that stupid gift.
i would get annoyed too but then i have to remind myself that it's a gift. i get plenty of gifts that i don't need/want or not my style but i am grateful, esp. if i know it was thoughtful. i try to be thoughtful when i give gifts so hopefully people will reciprocate.
i'm almost glad that in my culture, we give cash instead of gifts. i will have to put together a registry for my "american" friends and family. i really don't know what to put on the registry because i'm over 30 and i bought most of my nicer household stuff. someone mentioned the nice metal measuring cups and spoons. i bougt myself the all-clad set because i was tired of bf using the plastic ones to measure oil despite the numerous times i showed him the glass measuring cups for liquids. i have the big kitchenaid mixer, the le creuset dutch ovens, the all-clad pots and pans, the keurig machine, 36 hand-blown wine glasses (stemmed and stemless), w hotel bedding, henckels flatware for 16...i guess i can register for the $140 per place setting china and real silverware but that's not our style. heck -- i can't even get bf to use a knife to cut his meat.
@LindaD76: I don't think the OP is being ungrateful, she's saying she'd PREFER something off of their registry.
What is worse is when people make you something that is supposed to have a lot of sentimental value or meaning and they worked really hard on it... Great, so where am I gonna put this quilt you made to look like our faces?
Ahh...I would never do that to someone else for their wedding. People spend a TON of time on their registries to prevent that from happening!
im nervous about our registry. no one has gotten anything off it. i know we still have time but i registered at 2 main stream stores so hopefully things wont be too crazy lol
the last few registries I have looked at only had things that were completely out of my budget. I think some people are only registering for expensive stuff, not saying that all people do this.... but some do. I cannot afford a wicker dresser, or a 60.00 place setting, or really expensive silverware or cooking utensils.
I usually give homemade scrapbooks now though that go with their wedding colors, and that seems to be going well, so I imagine I will stick with that.
I am thankful to get gifts, no matter what they are. Perhaps people are getting you what they can afford? For our real wedding, we go talot of miss matched stuff, practically NOTHING from the registry, but we made due, we were just starting out, so its okay. I sitll don't think I've ever had a set of matching towels 18 years later, but have I had an over all happy marraige? heck yes! Will be 18 years this Sunday.
Sorry you do not like what you are getting, but perhaps you can make it work? We would all prefer to get what we registered for, that is why we registered for it.... Just because they get you something not on the registry doesn't mean its bad...
JMHO
Ronney
Yes a gift is always appreciated, no it is not required that you buy us a gift to attend but when it is for a special occasion then the dynamic changes a little. It's not like you made a Christmas or birthday registry to make people buy you things. And most people that go to wedding don't know your personal tastes or the content of your homer even your financial status. They could register for a coffee pot because they can't afford a new one, and you show up with a picture frame. Now what does that help? If I am going to go out to purchase a gift for a wedding, or shower of any kind, and there has been a list of items put together to help me why would I walk into the same store pick something random and be like well this is what they get. Its like doing something half-a$$ed. Like I have to get something but don't care if it's what they need or not. I would much rather take the same money to get them what they really needed, that would give me greater satisfaction. Now if my house was just blown over in a tornado or we didn't have anything then I wouldn't care what it was that was given to me, I would just be glad to have it. However that is far from this case. Now there are somethings that are put on registries that you don't expect anyone to buy for you, and plan to buy it yourselves but by doing putting it on the registry you get a discount.
@LindaD76: I think the OP understands that these are gifts given out of the goodness of peoples' hearts and that she is extremely lucky to be surrounded by so many generous people. She's just expressing a minor annoyance that she spent a lot of time making a gift registry and now a lot of people aren't paying attention to it. Yes, that's annoying. And yes, it's super sad what happened to the people in Alabama. But, honestly, it's not really relevant and I think you just brought it up to make her feel bad. Not nice.
Get this; FH insisted that we do a registry (I didn't want to do one). So, we put some stuff together and surprisingly, people are buying stuff. And it's nice stuff! Things that we probably wouldn't have purchased for ourselves (or at least for several months). The other day FH says "Gosh, I hope it wasn't a mistake doing a registry! I really hope we get some monetary gifts instead of crappy plates!"
I was LIVID!!! I couldn't what a brat he was being! I said "Look, we're very fortunate that our loved ones are getting us these gifts. Plus, during these times, maybe people are cash poor, but they have some room on their credit card/s, so they were able to give us a gift that way." Geeesh....he usually doesn't think like that!
Sorry....don't mean to hijack thread!
I haven't had any off-registry stuff yet (already had bridal shower), but I have had people tell me that know better than I do what we'll need. Um...? We've been living for over 2 years, we've combined our stuff, weeded out what we don't need. And we cook a LOT so through the years, we've picked up the major kitchen gadgets and appliances we need. There's a reason that we don't have any major appliances on our registry.
I just went to a wedding where the couple was registered at Target. I bought them the toaster oven they asked for. I love registries, they make it so rediculously simple to buy a gift..plus, added bonus..You know they need it! I'm right there with ya!!
I definitely hope for some items on my registry and totally sympathize! There are a couple of things I really want and would already have bought for myself if the wedding weren't taking up allllll my money.
But I will say that of the three pre-wedding gifts we have received so far, NONE were from our registry and I loved them all! Every gift was well thought out and two were completely unique, and we'll use those gifts and appreciate the giver's foresight.
This is so crazy to me!! I have not even registered anywhere, and told everyone NOT to get me gifts for my bachelorette, and not to throw me a bridal shower b/c I have always felt like they are a "gift grab".
Reading all of these posts makes me kind of sad...aren't weddings supposed to be about sharing an amazing day with family and friends, not bitching about what gifts people went out of their way to buy you?? :(
@lovspups: agreed. I've always specifically pointed out to folks "we would much rather you give to XYZ charity" when we were asked what we wanted. Except last year for Christmas I did ask my family to pool resources for a family museum membership. My kids love the museum and my family INSISTS on trying to give us gifts every year. A $10 bill from each of them covered a year for the museum AND zoo lol.
@lovspups: If you read my post I clearly state that I know how ungrateful it sounds so spare me your life lessons.
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