I don't want to wear his Grandmother's ring.

posted 3 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
Member
2537 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I wouldn’t worry about it.  His mom should have no say in what sort of ring you should have.  Don’t feel obligated to accept his grandmother’s ring.

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@mslyns:  It’s TOTALLY fine that you don’t want it!

But I would give it back to the family, so someone else can use it!

Post # 5
Member
498 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@mslyns:  no you shouldnt feel like a jerk…while i feel it means a lot to get something from one of his family memebers that he loves, you still shouldnt feel forced to wear it…i actually have a ring my future mother in law gave me (not engagement ring) and wear it on occassion even though its not my style but the fact that I was important enough to her for her to give it to me made me feel good…you could maybe wear it until you get a new ring and occassionally wear his grandmothers ring on your other hand every once in a while…maybe explain that you just want something of your own and hopefully she will understand..good luck 🙂

Post # 6
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

His grandmother’s ring is DIVINE! I’ll have it. Haha!

Post # 7
Member
3084 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@mslyns:  no. If it’s not your style it’s not your style. 

Post # 8
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

No you’re not a jerk! Nobody should be forced Ito accepting a ring they don’t like, just to please somebody else. You’re the one wearing it, so it should be what YOU want. 

Post # 10
Member
671 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@mslyns:  Hmm I agree you shouldn’t have to wear it if you don’t like it. But I would be very, very careful how you tread here. You don’t want to insult the mother in law, she’ll always hold it against you. I would say that you didn’t want to resize the ring – you did say it was very small right? Just say you didn’t want to ruin the ring by having to resize that much, and then give it back (if there’s someone else who could use it, otherwise keep it safe somewhere and let them know that you’re doing that). But then again – do we know how she said that to your fiance? She may not have been too concerned? Maybe just asking a q?

 

Ah family rings are sometimes a minefield!!!!

Edit: oh it’s already back – well ignore what I said about that!

Post # 11
Member
227 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I think it’s better to be honest than to wear it all the while wishing you had something else.

Heirlooms are great, the stone in my ring was from my fiance’s grandmother. I picked out the setting though as he wanted me to have something for sure I would like.

PS – Love the ring you like, it’s such a unique design!

Post # 12
Member
461 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Hi, it is spelt “proposed” not “purposed” just thought you needed to know.

 

I love the ring given to you, maybe because it looks like mine. Honestly, the one you want looks like a normal everyday ring that you could wear in addition to the diamond ring. But it is up to you. Maybe they will find someone else who would appreciate the ring more.

Post # 13
Member
3006 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I don’t think you’re being a jerk at all! I agree that no one should feel obligated into wearing a family ring, or anything really, that they don’t like.

Post # 14
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

@mslyns:  You have rejected a family ring that has sentimental feelings, history and tradition behind it and instead have chosen to honor and value your own “sence of style” above all that.   

I think you should give some thought to that.

There is an overwhelming opinion on the Bee that it is a downright tragedy if a bride doesn’t get the exact ring she wants and selects for herself. It’s not. Some things are more valuable and more important. 

Post # 15
Member
3006 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Zhabeego:  

@mslyns:  

And with that said, would you consider wearing it as a RHR? OP, I know you said you gave it back, but if feelings seem hurt, and it’s that big of a deal to the family, would that be an option?

Post # 16
Member
1327 posts
Bumble bee

No, don’t feel bad!  You’re appreciative but you’re entitled to an opinion on an important piece of jewellery that you’ll be wearing daily for the rest of your life. 🙂  You’re being tactful about it, and that will make all the difference.  Besides, once his mom/family sees the ring you end up choosing, they’ll get it – completely different from the grandma’s ring.

This is exactly why I’m not into the idea of heirloom jewellery though – I wouldn’t expect my future generations to have the same taste as me!  And I’d much rather choose my own stuff.  The only positive I can think of with regards to the concept of heirloom jewellery is it’d give me an excuse to buy nicer/fancier things than otherwise – “But honey!  This is heirloom-quality, we can pass it down to the kids!” LOL

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