Post # 1
Is it rude to tell my FI that I don’t want him to propose a certain way? Like I don’t want him to propose to me on Thanksgiving or in other huge family gatherings. Unless its just my parents and brothers. I’m not close to my extended family…. Is this just rude to say? lol
Post # 3
I know that my FH wouldn’t have wanted me to just come out and say I don’t want you to propse this way, because he wanted to plan the proposal, but your SO may be different.
I would just say that you don’t know why some people like really public proposals, that you would want something more private. He should pick up on the hint.
Post # 4
I think this is a fine time to start your transition into making joint decisions…. the ring, the proposal, the budget for the wedding / honeymoon. All of these things transition you into a “couple” rather than 2 entities spending time together.
Post # 5
I think it’s ok to give him some guidance, such as I really don’t want it in public or on a holiday, but be careful not to seem too controlling or that you are telling him how to propose
Post # 6
@AmyFarrahFowler: This all the way. (P.s. Amy, freaking love your sn)
I’m with you in the fact that I didn’t want to be proposed to on a holiday or in front of a crowd of strangers. I think what brought the subject up was I watched a proposal on YouTube that this guy proposed to his gf at a baseball game and she said ‘no’. That led into the discussion of how I would hate to be proposed to that way b/c blah blah blah. I also told him that if he proposed me that way I’d kick him in the testicles and say no (we joke a lot in our relationship).
I think telling him flat out, out of no where would be rude…but somehow guiding him on your thoughts about certain proposals.
Post # 7
I think it is rude to say “SO, don’t propose to me this way.” I think there are many ways you can work things into a conversation that would get that point across and that is not rude.
Post # 8
Nope. I gave mine a couple of “rules”. As long as you don’t go too over the top, I think it’s perfectly fine. Just be careful how you say it.
Post # 9
I would try to frame it in a certain way. Like hunny I would love to have a proposal that had xyz over one line this because of xyz.
Post # 10
- Wedding: October 2014 - UK
Yeah, I did what PP have done and made it clear from films we’d watched together etc that a BIG PUBLIC PROPOSAL!!! was not at all what I wanted. And I really didn’t want him to ask my Dad for permission – but he finds my dad a little intimidating anyway, and it’s a running joke in my family that if anyone had asked my dad for permission, he was going to set them tasks before he gave it, because he thought it was a stupid idea anyway.
Post # 11
Yeah, I kind of gave a little guidance, let him know that a big public thing was not something that I wanted, but mostly I just told him that I wanted it to be something he was comfortable with.
Post # 12
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I think it’s okay to give a little guidance. I told DH that I wanted a private proposal (no restaurants, no ballparks, etc.), and that it was really important for me that he ask for my Dad’s blessing (not permission!)
And he did both, and it was perfect! 🙂
Post # 13
I think it’s fair to give him some guidance of whether you’re comfortable being proposed to in front of other people or not, I am really shy and I am so so glad that my FI didn’t propose in front of our families (even though I love them to death!) I don’t think it’s kind to tell your SO “Please propose to me on a hot air balloon over a field of roses!” or “I don’t want you to propose at a restaurant, that’s so cliche” – you catch my drift? I mean, it’s fair to discuss whether you’re comfortable with it happening in private or in public, but not the details of exactly where.
Post # 14
I gave mine rules. I really want this to be a surprise and just about us as a couple. SO has never been able to surprise me. I’ve known about every birthday and Christmas present since we’ve been together.
Post # 15
I guess it is probably rude, but I didn’t care. I gave a few “I don’t want my proposal to go like this” requests and SuperFine was totally cool with it.
Post # 16
I told him what I didn’t want and he said he didn’t have that in mind anyway. lol. But he gave me a hint: when he proposes, EVERYBODY is going to know. He joked before about proposing at the ballpark on the big screen. My family and I are huge Dodger fans. But he joked he was going to do it at an Angels game. I told him I would say no if he ever did that. lol.
I would love a ballpark propsal. I just didn’t want it to be on thanksgiving or family parties. I’m not close to my family at all and I know this may sound mean, but i’ll rather be proposed to infront of thousands of strangers than share it with my family that just are negative people towards anyone else but themselves. Unless its infront of my immediate family, my parents and brothers.