Post # 1
So I’ve tried to get along with my in-laws, but I just can’t. We’re perfectly polite to each other, but when my fiance invites them over I just dread it the entire time.
When they found out we were engaged all they did was mention that my fiance owes them money. Not a huge amount, probably about a hjndred dollars. No congratulations, nothing. My FFIL just talks down to my fiance all the time. He’s actually his stepdad but raised him, so essentially his father. But he acts like he hates him sometimes. Once when we were over for New Years I gave my fiance a small little hug..nothing mushy, just a little squeeze and the way my FFIL acted, it’s like we were making out in front of him. We weren’t.
Plus my fiance put his two weeks in his job because he wasn’t happy. We discussed it at length, and being in the military he still gets a paycheck. He has a welding degree so he’s been looking, but hasn’t found anything yet. No big deal, we’re getting by just fine. But when my FMIL found out she threw a fit, yelled at him, even told him he was stupid! I was livid!
Plus, when I tell him something or ask him to do or not to do something they will disagree with me and try to convince him otherwise and a day after we moved into our new home (we lived with them for a few weeks until it was ready) the FFIL said if we didn’t get our boxes out of his basement they were going to give them away.
Ugh!!! I have tried to like them for my fiance’s sake but I just can’t!
Post # 3
Sorry you’re going through this :/ I have difficult in-laws as well and although I do love them they make me very angry sometimes. Hopefully things will be a bit better now that you are in your own place.
Post # 4
Oh we’ve been in our own place for four months now and it still doesnt stop. We were living together for approx. 6 months before we stayed with them and they still tried controlling us.
Post # 5
I don’t like my future in laws either.
My solution? I have as little to do with them as possible. I live 200 miles away, I’m 45 (so no future grandchildren), have two cats and a month ago started a job with long hours…so three good reasons to hardly ever see them and one where I don’t have to worry about the future.
They can only poke their noses in your business if they actually know your business…time to start operating at a higher level of privacy, I think.
Post # 6
I think you are in the majority here. Yes my in-laws are pleasent and we get along, but i find them phony and i dont trust them for whatever reason. I think his sister is a bit of a bitch and his brother and his GF are just plan rude ass jerks.
We can be friendly and get along, but we do not have to be buddy buddy with our in laws. For a long time i beat myself up thinking i was the one with the problem because i wasnt bff’s with his sister. Then i realized, if i wasnt related to her i would want nothing to do with her, so why should i try so hard? I will chit chat with her at gatherings, but i wont be calling her for a girls night any time soon….
Be happy with your FI, live every day feeling greaful and forget about the negative.
Post # 7
I didn’t get on brilliantly with my former ILs. We were always polite but I never felt we had anything in common and they were partial to the sort of snarky remark that suggested my family were a bunch of somewhat decadent toffs. Which they weren’t! They also liked to have an opinion on everything. So I made a point of being very selective about what they were told. An approach I’d recommend to anyone with potentially controlling in laws. Only if they don’t know, they can’t chime in with unwanted and unreasonable opinions.