(Closed) I feel CRAZY…too long of a vent..sorry need to get it out.

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
941 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wowie.  That’s a whole lot to have weighing on you.  First of all stop, sit down, and take a few deep breaths.  Focus on the deep breaths, not everything else going on.  That’s a whole lot you’re carrying, and it’s helpful to let your body calm down a bit first.

Now, next thing…there’s a whole lot of people it sounds like who are causing you stress…is there anyone whose been able to be helpful?  A friend, family member, wedding planner, therapist, anyone?  Because all that you’re trying to take on is a lot to take on alone, and it sounds like having some support to lean on would be helpful.  You shouldn’t have to be  going through all of this alone.

And now one more next thing…what can you let go of responsibility for?  I mean…really sitting down, thinking about it, and saying really I don’t want to do this, so I’m not going to worry about it anymore, let them figure it out.  It may not be an easy decision to make, and it’s one that’ll be important to do.  As we’re down to the very final days of our wedding planning, what I’ve found to be the most stressful is others’ lack of consideration, and seeming inability to figure out simple things on their own and have fiance and myself take on that responsibility (things like how they’re going to get to the wedding, and whether they’re actually coming…a week before the wedding).  I bring this up only because I’ve really had to learn how to let go of stuff and not take on their irresponsibility/lack of consideration as my problem.  But yeah, finding a new place to live so your parents can stay with you?  Not your responsibility.  Send them to hotels.com, let them figure out various hotels in your area.  Moving is stressful enough as it is…an moving while planning a wedding?  Not so cool.  And unless your in laws are kicking you out, not something you have to worry about right now.  

And with something like practicing dancing…if you were to say to your fiance, look we have this amount of days…that’s not enough time…let’s set aside a specific time today/tomorrow, etc to practice, because right now I feel like we need to practice, to help keep my sanity.  Or something like that.  

I know the things I mentioned above are much easier said than done, and I also know that venting is not a request for advice.  Though I hope no matter what, you’re able to take a bit of time for yourself to calm down, and breath, and get support from someone who is able to support you.  And I hope when thanksgiving comes you pig out. 

Post # 4
Member
1231 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

Wedding Planning can definitely make a woman crazy!  Breath!  I know it sucks that it’s all on you, that sucks.  But for some reason no one else “gets it”.  Thanksgiving will be here before you know it!  It’s my birthday, too 🙂  Big Hugs!

Post # 5
Member
3801 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

GO EAT SOMETHING YOU LIKE! Feed your brain. One cheat today won’t ruin your fitting into your dress. Stress is 100000 times worse if you are HUNGRY.

Then, make a list of everything in your head that needs to be done and number it, 1 being most important, the higher the number, the longer the item can wait. Then tackle the list. ONE thing at a time.

Is your FI helping you with the moving stuff? If he isn’t helping you find a place to go after the wedding, then maybe the two of you should worry about getting through the wedding first, THEN start looking for a place to go. You don’t want to spend the next 28 days planning, finalizing wedding stuff, and THEN moving/packing.

You can only handle so much. Tell your parents you are sorry, but you might not be able to have them stay for a while, since it might not be possible to have your own place right after the wedding. If they are not in a hurry to book their flights, then you don’t need to be in a hurry to move to please them.

You will get through it! You are NOT crazy. You are stressed!

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