Post # 1
I feel so sad and don’t know what to do. Know this will come across as being materialistic but it’s really getting me down. My fiance proposed 8 months ago and as soon as I saw the ring I felt a pang of disappointment as the diamond was so small. But I knew that he was really excited to give it to me and I just assumed that I would learn to love it. But I don’t. The longer I have it, the more I regret not saying anything at the time. It’s a 0.25 carat and on my small-ish hands it doesn’t look completely tiny. It’s just that it wasn’t what I dreamed of.
Before the proposal, I often imagined what it would be like to be engaged and to wear a ring and I had looked at loads. I didn’t expect a massive ring – I knew he would never get me a massive ring. Just thought he would get me 0.5 carat. I know that some people think that it’s not the size of the ring but what it represents. Well, all I feel is regret and the ring is starting to represent that. I don’t want to sound ungrateful. A few months ago, I told my fiance how I felt and he has since said that he will not be ‘upgrading’ it. So for now I have put it back in the box.
A few other things have happened since then – his mum behaved very badly at our engagement party and basically ruined the party. I now feel like I want to cancel the wedding as she is a very controlling person and I feel she will behave badly and ruin the day as well.
I know that I am being materialistic about the ring. When we first got engaged, I was so excited to tell everyone. I did feel a bit embarrassed that my ring was so small – no-one else I know has a diamond as small as mine but I did feel excited that we were starting a new chapter in our lives together. We have been together a very long time – 12 years and the proposal was nice.
Right now we are fighting all the time about the wedding and his mum and then I bring up the size of the ring. I know that’s my own problems and I should hold my tongue as I didn’t say anything when I still had the chance to exchange it. I just felt that he bought it and I should love it. However, now that I think about it, I wish he had listened. I always said that I didn’t care about the quality of the stone, I just wanted a big stone. When I see other people’s rings I feel saddened.
I recently bought my wedding ring and when I tried it on, I felt that all the wedding ring did was highlight how tiny my diamond is.
I don’t know what to do. Does anyone else have similar problems?
Post # 3
Brace yourself! The replies on this thread will not be kind. Personally I’d be bummed too if I was expecting one thing but then received another. If he is unwilling to upgrade, and it is probably well past the return date, perhaps you could buy an enhancer to wrap around the center stone and make it look better?
Post # 4
@GoldfishPie: agreed… this could get ugly
Post # 5
I think eloping is in order for you guys to save your sanity and relationship.
Everyone is unique with their ring preference. If you really have a problem with it and you don’t feel your being materialistic, tell your future husband of your ring desires. If anything you can upgrade perhaps in the future for an anniversary or some type of gift.
Post # 6
Perhaps it was all he could afford? Yes, we all want things in life, but I’d rather my future husband not put us in debt over a ring. Am I in love with my ring? Yes. Did I help pick it out? Yes. Is it “what I imagined” one day having? No. But it’s special to me and I know my SO is putting funds towards student loan payments and savings, which are much more important to me. Just a perspective.
Post # 7
What I think is bad about this is not just that you are disappointed in the size but that you aren’t wearing it because he won’t upgrade it. At least that’s how it sounds?
Post # 8
Did he say why he didn’t want to upgrade it? I understand feeling a little sad about the size… Society does that to us girls, tells us we have to have a big ole rock, but try and remember he gave that to you with his heart and that’s most important. Maybe you can upgrade it with your own money?
Post # 9
- Wedding: June 2013 - Piney River Ranch
I’m sorry that you’re not in love with your ring. But just think how this is making your FH feel. He was SO excited to propose and give you this ring. Sure, he may have known that it wasn’t as big as you wanted but for him, it’s more than a ring. It’s a symbol of your commitment to one another. Maybe someday down the road when you have more money, you can upgrade it later. But for now, wear the ring with pride and know that all that matters is that you’re in love with this man who wanted to buy you this symbol of his love for YOU. Sure, having something nice, big and sparkly is great. But what’s more important is the meaning behind it and your future together.
As far as your Future Mother-In-Law… don’t get too upset about things she’s doing. Either ignore her or like another poster said… elope. All that matters is your and your FH right?
And please…. wear your ring. No matter how small it is. It’s a huge slap in the face to your FH that you won’t even wear it. Like I said… someday maybe you can upgrade it to what you want when finances allow.
Post # 10
I understand that you are dissapointed, and honestly I would be a little too, but it is what the ring stands for that really counts and honestly I think it is very rude of you to put it back into the box and not even wear it…imagine how that must make him feel. He spent his time and money to pick out a nice ring for you to show you that he loves you and is commited to you and you wont even wear it. That probably really hurts him and you should not do something so hurtful to someone you love.
Post # 11
@MsJ2theZ: I was thinking the same thing
Post # 12
@copewedding: haha darn you posted that as I was typing so mine says almost the exact same thing lol
Post # 13
Like PP’s said, your best bet is to probably invest in an enhancer. They do amazing things! And if your Fiance doesn’t want to invest in an upgrade and you’re the one having an issue…an enhancer could really change the appearance of your ring. NOT that I think your size is “wrong,” but since you do, I’m just trying to offer a suggestion.
Post # 14
@MapleCreekBride: Couldn’t have said it better myself!
Seriously, wear the ring 🙂
Post # 15
Wow. You won’t even wear it? That’s low.
ETA: If I was your Fiance, I would be devestated.
Post # 16
Too be honest if I was your fiance and you refused to wear the engagement ring I would not be getting married. With this being said maybe us girls can help. If you post a picture we can make some suggestions on ways of making your ring look cool (Im thinking stacking rings in different metals).