Post # 1
I’m not going to hide under a different user name, but I could see how I could as this might be embarrasing or shed a bad light on my hubby.
Let me start by saying that I fell in love with him for his sweetness. He loves me to the ends of the earth.
…Last night, I was sooooo tired. I just didn’t feel in the mood. I think he thought he was being sexy when he just went for it anyway. I didn’t struggle or say no out loud, but afterwards, my mood changed. I became quiet and visibly upset. He didn’t know what was wrong with me. I went to bed.
This morning, I let him know and he apologized profusely. But I still feel hurt and alone. Like this: “Dosen’t he know me well enough yet to know when it’s appropriate and when it’s not”?
yes, it’s my fault for not just saying “No. Not tonight”.
I know he feels so bad, and I don’t know how to change my mood back to cheery.
Am I over-reacting?
Post # 3
I don’t think your hubby did anything wrong. Just because he loves you doesn’t mean he now can read your mind.
Post # 4
((HUGS)) You know I adore you. This is sounds like a common case of non-communication. I agree with @missrobots to a point because your hubs can’t read your mind…but don’t feel so down. It’s okay. You’re very entitled to your feelings but you didn’t speak up…and he can’t be faulted…not that you’re faulting him but I’m just saying.
Why do you feel alone? It’s okay…! Maybe you should have a heart to heart with your hubs again and perhaps you should apologize to him for not communicating the way you were feeling.
I want the ItalianLady back that we all know and love for your spunk! Cheer up! Worse things could happen. This is just a minor bump in the road.
Post # 5
I have been in this situation and it sucks. You just have to remember that they are not mind readers and you have to make your needs known out loud. You just have to accept your mistake, not dwell on it, move on and things will go back to normal. You feel bad it happened, he feels bad it happened. Maybe go on a romantic date or cook a romantic dinner for two at home?
Post # 5
Can I say…..a bit?
*ducks and hides*
I think in this situation you got your signals crossed …. he didn’t go for it maliciously or aggressively, and I’m sure if you had voiced your feelings at any time, he would have stopped immediately, right? I don’t think he meant to hurt you at all, and would be horrified to know how his actions affected you (and he was, apparently).
Guys have such a hard time figuring out us women sometimes when it comes to sex that I’d cut him some slack on this one, if you can. I know my Fiance would LOVE it if I went “Let’s go F**k, RIGHT NOW” all the time. Alas, it is not so. Boo for him 🙁
Dr.Bebefly is going to write you a prescription for some snuggles with your sweetie, just to reconnect with each other after such a miscommunication. Feel free to refill as necessary! 😉
*Hugs* I hope you feel better soon. 🙁
Post # 6
OhmyGOSH, you are so sweet. I adore you too 🙂
Well, like I said, I thought he knew me by now. I did tell him over and over last night “oh my gosh, I’m so tired !”
And then, well, am I that irrisistable?? (sp?) lol
Post # 7
@ItalianLady: I vote a resounding YES! And it sounds like your husband had a case of the dense. sometimes you really do have to S-P-E-L-L it out for them eh??
Post # 8
@ItalianLady: Girl…you ARE irresistible! Being tired is being tired in my book…and probably to him too. As much as we would like to think our husbands/SO know us and they probably do, they still can’t read mixed messages. Trust me because I’ve been there too.
Chalk it up to mis-communication and again, I’d talk with him. You might have overreacted a weeeeeee bit! But we’re women…it’s what we do!
Post # 9
been there! there have a been a few nights where i def dont feel like doing it but do it anyway and then i feel kind of angry at Fiance. BUT we cannot get mad if we do not voice our wants (or in this case what we dont want) they cant read our minds. I think you are perfectly normal in your feelings we just have to remember to try and communicate a little better. Its hard though! you dont want to make them feel as if you arent interested in them. its a tough situation but know you arent alone. Guys would do it all the time if they had the opportunity. us girls…its a little more difficult than that.
Post # 10
I pretty much have to hire a marching band and hold up signs when I’m not in the mood. Because you know, my fugly polka dot pajamas, sweatshirt, book, and later my fake snoring aren’t enough of a hint.
We struggled with this for a bit too. I dont’ understand why they want to do it all the time. ZZZZZ. It’s cold, let me sleep!
Post # 11
Me and my fiance broke up about a year into our dating for about 2 weeks. This was because of a lack of communication. He thought I was thinking things I wasn’t and I thought he was thinking things he wasn’t. We realized how silly we were and from then on any issue we saw we immediately communicated to the other. We have never fought since then.
Don’t let this get you down *hugs* You are entitled to your feelings, you just have to communicate them. It keeps hostile feelings from building up. I agree with stephenPA. Just let him know you’re sorry for not telling him how you felt.
Neither of you are mind readers
Post # 12
@ everyone !
I knew I could count on you ladies to cheer me up !
LOL…maybe I’ll try cold cream all over my face next time ! lol
Post # 13
Post # 14
@ItalianLady: I’d try a “not tonight” over cold cream… honestly guys don’t understand “too tired.” Fiance could be up for 3 weeks straight, falling asleep driving, unable to climb the stairs, and he would still be ready and willing for sex. “too tired” does not mean anything to them.
Post # 15
You pretty much have to say, “Honey, I’m too tired for more than a cuddle right now, but I wanna set a date for X:XX PM tomorrow.” Otherwise, neither of you get the intimacy you’d want.
I think all of us have had a time when one has been interested but the other hasn’t felt well or been exhausted.