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EEEK - He says he's taking me out for a "surprise" tonight!

i feel kinda silly about this

posted 1 year ago in Babies
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    1,287 posts
    Bumble bee
    heatherrobyn    April 2, 2011  

    there have been several months (not all of them consecutive) in our relationship that i have not been on birth control. there wasn't really a reason why... i just stopped using it and FI was aware of it. our sex live stayed the same. always in the back of both of our minds we understood we might get pregnant. however, it never happened.

    i feel like we are both in our mid-20s--isn't this the easiest time to conceive? does it generally take a long time? there was a 3 month span that we did not use birth control, and then there have been 1 and 2 month spans here and there throughout the relationship.

    does it take a while for BC to get entirely out of my system? I have this crazy fear deep down that maybe I won't be able to get pregnant? we aren't trying as of now, and currently I am on BC for good for the next two years, but would like to plan appropriately....

    A couple of my girlfriends have gotten pregnant accidentally while on birth control and just happened to miss a couple days.

    AJust wondering how it all works...

     
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    Bee Keeper
    SoontobeMrsA    June 2012   MA/NH line

    I know it can vary but I was pregnant within two months. Good luck!

     
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    Buzzing bee
    vistagirl    march , 2010   Oregon

    I think they say the average is a year of unprotected sex. Don't worry, my gyno told me it can take a while for your body to be used to trying.

     
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    Busy bee
    sweetkate    August 29, 2009   San Jose, CA

    It all depends on timing. Sperm can live up to 72 hours once inside where it needs to be. But your egg only lasts about 12-24 hours. Have you been regular the months you weren't on BC?

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Belle2Be      

    Try having sex every 3 days :) That's how it worked for me LOL.

    Ok really though, it can depend how long you were on birth control, and how often you have sex. It can take a few months to get your cycles back and start ovulating. (For my first, I was on birth control for several years, stopped and it took about 6 months to get pregnant). 

    You only ovulate 1 day a month, and for approx 24 hours, so you have to hit that window. Sperm can live anywhere from 3-5 days inside you, so that helps your odds.

     
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    Honey bee
    kitzy    June 2011  

    birth control is "out of your system" pretty much immediately, but it can take a few cycles for your body to regularize itself. 

    i have the same, unwarranted fear that i won't be able to get pregnant, so i totally understand! just try not to worry about it, and trust that it will happen.

     
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    bakerella    September 11, 2010   Toronto, ON

    I've heard it can take up to 6 months to get all the chemicals from BC pills out of your body. I've been on BC since I was 16 and honestly, I'm surprised I didn't have an oops at some point. However, like you, I'm also a bit concerned in the back of my mind that I never did..... (and happy, we're not ready for kids!) But like the PPs said, it's a timing thing really. Some women seem to be crazy fertile (my sister had a friend who got pregnant THREE times on BC and using condoms!!!), and plenty of others who have their BC work perfectly no matter if they take it religiously or mess it up every now and then.

     
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    Buzzing bee
    Mrs Green Grass    August 14, 2010  

    I think those of us that have taken BC for a long time and been totally freaked out about accidentally getting pregnant expect that without BC it's just happens.  I wish I knew more during all those years of worrying!  I'm on month 4; I think my cycle is just starting to regularize...

     
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    Buzzing bee
    lezlers    April 3, 2011   California

    I feel you girl.  I've used the withdrawal method of birth control for the past 10 years with three different partners.  While I'm glad I never got pregnant, a little part of me is always thinking "uh oh, should I be concerned about potential fertility issues? Am I really lucky, or really UNLUCKY?" Makes me want to just stop "not" trying right now just to know one way or the other. I think the fact that you start and stop taking the pill has a lot to do with your situation though, so I wouldn't be too terribly concerned. 

     
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    Worker bee
    neohippie88    January 1, 2011   Alabama

    I've never been on bc before this month and we've been dating 6 years. But we've ALWAYS used condoms, and FI is soo extremely careful with using them perfectly. 

    And yet, I still wonder in the back of my mind how I haven't had 1 scare in 6 years lol. My periods are perfectly regular (I can set a watch by them - every 28 days at 11pm!) It's not that I want a scare, or wanted to have kids in the past 6 years, but that doesn't mean I worry less.

    I think that fear is just innate in women...biologically, we are made to bear children. I'm not saying that is our only "role" in life because thankfully now we live in a society where we can choose our own paths, but evolutionarily that is our role. The fear of not being able to fill that role probably plagues a lot of us.

     
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    Bumble bee
    heatherrobyn    April 2, 2011  

    yes, i agree with many of you. my fear is totally unwarranted, but deep down inside i am still freaked out! why can some girls get pregnant ON the pill, and i am off of it for three months and my period doesn't miss a beat? but thanks guys!

     
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    Bumble bee
    sand dollar    September 25, 2010   Lake Jackson

    I got off bc in February, started TTC in May, and finally conceived in November. I'm 24, my husband is 23. It still took us 7 months even though we were in the height of our fertility. I'm still praying for a full-term, live delivery every day. Because it just seems that reproducing is a pretty finicky process!

     
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    Helper bee
    LoveHappy    May 2, 2009   FL

    I know what you mean, but chances are you ARE normal and WILL be able to conceive. There are actually very few days in a month that you can get pregnant, and everything has to be timed perfectly. Unfortunately, there are a lot of "accidents" and unwanted pregnancies out there, which makes you think it is super easy to get pregnant. BUT I think it's pretty normal to try for 6 months- 1 year to get pregnant. So the odds that you didn't get pregnant when you were off birth control here and there are pretty normal. Again, everything (ovulation, sex, sperm swimming to egg) have to be timed absolutely perfectly.

    And if you had sex every few days (3-4) when you were off birth control, the timing might not have lined up.

    So I wouldn't worry too much. One thing you could do when you get off birth control is to try charting (tcoyf.com). This will help you see exactly when (if) you are ovulating.

     

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