- 5 years ago
- Wedding: November 2014
First of all, some updates… last time I wrote about our ring dilemma, and about him not being able to talk to my mom.
Happily, both of those issues are resolved! This is SUCH good news. When I went down to Thanksgiving in GA, my SO, his mom and I went to a Vietnamese jewelry shop and had a beautiful diamond set in his mom’s heirloom setting. Awesome!
Then, this last week, my mom was in town again, and my SO talked to her over brunch (while I was in the restroom) about asking my hand in marriage. Great!
The thing is, I knew all of the details about all of these things. We’re VERY open with each other, which is great for our relationship. HOWEVER, I did tell him that I REALLY REALLY wanted to be surprised with the proposal itself.
It didn’t have to be fancy, I said, but since I was so ‘in’ on the other stuff, I wanted to not see the proposal coming. At all. My only request.
Fast forward to a week or so ago. He says out of the blue, “Let’s go to Chicago for New Year’s!” Secretly, I’m like, sweet! Maybe he has some cool whirlwind proposal planned for our favorite city!
Then, no. He has to work on NYE. No go.
Then today, he says, “hey, let’s find a time this week to go to (local museum) where we had one of our first dates.”
I’m obviously thinking, oh shoot. Worst case scenario pops into my head: It’s super frigid and grey outside, we go to the local scupture park, he proposes there. Then we go eat one of our ‘usual’ spots.
This makes me sad for 3 reasons: 1) If he IS proposing this way, he’s being SUPER obvious. When I told him I really wanted a surprise. 2) I wish he’d never mentioned Chicago. That would have been PERFECT and exciting, even if I had seen it coming. 3) I feel like the local museum proposal just doesn’t have a whole lot of thought put into it. The thought of it is ‘sweet’ but not ‘delightful.’
All of these (totally irrational) feelings are making me feel like a major brat! I’m getting what I want after all! He’s giving me a gorgeous ring and is the love of my life! He’s going to ask me to be his wife! Why am I being SO ungrateful? Why can’t I get over this pre-emptive disappointment and this feeling like he’s just not putting much thought or effort into it? Why do I think I need to be some kind of movie princess with a spectacular proposal?
I guess part of it is that I have been a part of several proposals in the last few months. They have been both public and elaborate– one was a flash mob proposal that was on national news. My SO and I both spent weeks learning the choreography. On the way to the flash mob site, he said, “YOU don’t want a flash mob proposal, do you?” I said no, because I don’t, but it really touched me how much effort her fiance put into the proposal. She was SO surprised. I want that feeling.
I don’t know. You propbably agree that my expectations are out of whack. I just needed to write this to keep it from festering in my mind for the rest of the week.
Thank you. 🙂