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Well, I'm not pregnant or TTC. But I'm pretty sure all that is normal. I've been around enough pregnant women to know that emotions are everywhere and I'm sure you're overwhelmed with excitement and nerves at the same time. But I also think that when the baby is born you're going to love him or her no matter what sex the baby is.
I feel the same as you,not pregnant yet but when we are we are really hoping for a girl,butI will feel sooo bad if we have a boy!i think when you find out,you will just be so happy,because by then,hopefully your sickness will have passed and you can get excited about baby either way,and you will have time to get used to the idea!congratulations and good luck!
I could have written this post myself. I knew from day 1 I was having a girl, but hoped and prayed I was wrong and we'd have a boy. At the gender scan when they told me it was a girl I was so upset. I waited until I got into the car and just cried and cried. I told her I was sorry for feeling that way (because in some crazy way I thought she knew) but now that she's here and I get to see her growing every day and knowing that she isn't cast into stone as some annoying preppy pom pom waving girly girl... I can't imagine us having a boy.
Hang in there, it's tough, but you'll love her more than anything.
Thanks ladies
& also the last thing I want is for my baby to feel the feelings I am feeling! :(
once you start feeling better, things will look better, i'm sure! plus, nothing says you have to go all girly-girl IF you have a girl... gender neutral room colors, blue/green/other non-pink clothes, and gender neutral toys will go a long way towards curbing the princess craziness that you're envisioning.
@JustlikeHeaven: Oh, I'm sorry, but this is kind of funny. My mom thought and wished that I was a boy until I was born! When I was born and she found out she had a daughter, she was a little sad, and got angry at my grandmom that she had brought her pink flowers! She kind of raised me as a tomboy and it was a lot of fun! She had been a tomboy all her life so it's understandable that she would have felt more comfortable with a boy, she didn't even know how to french-braid my hair! But I loved her nevertheless, and she still was a great mother. And, the moment she had me in her arms, she still loved me just the way I was, girl and all. So don't worry. When you will hold your baby in your arms, you'll love it just the same no matter what gender it will be.
I think it is perfectly natural to worry about connecting with your child because of the sex. Just keep in mind that you will love your baby no matter what and as long as you show it you're going to be a great mom!
I'm sorry you're having these feelings.
If I were you, I would try to focus on the miracle that is your pregnancy. No matter the child's gender, size, or how he or she comes into the world, the child is going to change your life and steal your heart.
During my first trimester, I gained 20 pounds. Having lost a lot of weight prior, I found myself fretting about my weight and my body image started to suffer. But I soon realized that what I was feeling about my body, I was also feeling about the home to my baby. And that helped me to recognize that I needed to get those feelings in check.
Just try to feel grateful that you were able to get pregnant on your own. A lot of women would love to be in your shoes right now. And I do believe that our babies can share our emotions, so what you're feeling, he or she may be feeling, too.
Good luck. You're not alone!
I also really want a boy. I think that the whole pink princess thing is a little annoying but like PPs said you dont have to raise you daughter to only wear pink and only play dolls. Im going to be happy when they tell me baby is healthy and Im going to accept the sex no matter what it is. Besides (fingers crossed) there is always next time!
Not weird at all! I know so many moms-to-be who feel that way. My mom was convinced I'd be a dude, for example; they even gave me a boy's name. The trick is not to bury/fight the feelings--work through them--when your LO comes, they will melt away. Don't feel guilty.
The night before we went to find out I had a dream we were having a boy. It was such a vivid dream that when they said 'girl' I felt so confused, almost at a loss since all my feelings had been boy and my imagination had started going in that direction.
But that didn't take long to get over, just had to get the imagination at a different spot, and now that she's here she's just the most perfect little thing, not that theres much idfference bw girls and boys at this age.
I am 15 weeks and I want a girl, so if need be, we can totally trade! haha, just kidding...talk about bad mom! :)
Just remember right now that your emotions are all over the place. You will adore your child no matter what gender he or she is. No reason to feel guilty or feel like a bad mom. And don't feel guilty about these thoughts, they are a result of our crazy pregnancy hormones!
@JustlikeHeaven: I really don't blame you for feeling this way, and I KNOW you're not doomed to be a bad mother. Lots of people have a preferrence, and some people love their kids insanely when they're born no matter what they are, and others love them just as much but try again for their desired sex. It's not about loving them, it's about how you envision your family unfolding.
A little story--when one of my older sisters was born, they wrapped her up, brought her to my Mom, and she said loud as can be "That UGLY baby is NOT MY BABY. You take her away and bring me the real baby now."
She swears she was on some sort of sleep deprived delirium, but she called her second daughter ugly in front of a whole room full of people. When I asked why she told me this, she told me to remember, that sometimes, even when they're born, it might take awhile for them to feel like they belong to you, but eventually, they always, always do, no matter who they are.
Thank you so much ladies, some of your stories made me giggle.
Funny thing is like some of you - My mom also wished I was a boy! haha she loves me now, no doubt about it but maybe its some sort of cycle! :)
Totally normal! DH wanted a girl so bad - the day we had our anatomy ultrasound he was so chatty and friendly to the ultrasound tech UNTIL she reveiled that we were having a boy! He got real quiet and I could tell he was upset. Walking out to the car, he kept saying, "you know how nervous I am about having a boy and this just changes everything I was thinking about" etc. etc. to the point where I was in tears and told him I didn't want to remember the day we found out we were having a son as the day I cried on the way home, lol. It's been three months since we found out and things are totally different. I can honestly look back and laugh at that day. DH is really excited to have a little boy, picking out clothes for him, etc.
I'm 7 weeks away from my due date - I've never been around babies, I've never changed a diaper in my life! A friend of mine is bringing her newborn to my shower this weekend and I'm terrified she'll make me hold her in front of all those people and everyone's gonna go "omg, she has no idea what to do!"
I think pregnancy is filled with all sorts of irrational fear and that's normal... I hope! lol
I think it's important to remember that 'being a girl' the way we think of it (not it terms of biological sex, but in terms of behaviours) is NOT coded into your DNA. You're not destined to have a princess-worshipping, pink-loving delicate flower. In fact, I would say MOST girls aren't like that! They're little people, just like boys, who can have diverse interests if you expose them to options and don't try to pigeonhole them into PRINCESSPRINCESSPRINCESS. I think any mom on here will tell you their little girls like a bunch of different things and go through different phases of liking one thing or another.
With a 'tomboy' mom, I'm guessing any child you have will develop a love for at least some of your favourite activities, since they'll be introduced to them early. Just remember, you don't have to buy her a pink kitchen set to prove she's a girl. Introduce her to different toys and activities and I think you'll find you know how to handle a girl just fine :)
I admit, I felt the exact same way. I was so positive it was a girl. I never even considered that there was a possibility of it being a boy and I think that if she would have told us at the ultrasound that it was a boy I would have cried. I can honestly say I would have been upset.
These feelings don't make you any less of a good mother, because you will love that baby no matter what.
I'm struggling now with longing for a girl after having three boys. I don't know at this point in our lives if we will have another child. I wanted my last baby to be a girl so badly that I cried privately after the ultrasound, too. Before the ultrasound, though, I was worried b/c I wasn't feeling the emotions I had with the other two. I felt the need to care for myself for what was best for the baby, but I didn't have the connection I'd had with my other children. And then the reaction to the ultrasound and the guilt. Not too long after knowing "who" he was, so to speak, I felt that recognition happening. We have a different connection than I have with his older brother, and there's yet another bond with their other brother. There are all sorts of emotions that come along with being a mother and it changes everything, including the ideas we had before they were actually born. She will be her own person and you will be amazed.
@zippylef: I would have been upset, too! I just can't see myself with a boy!
@ OP: don't feel bad! Pregnancy up and downs happen. you're not going to be a bad mom!
I don't have kids yet and we're not yet TTC, but I really enjoyed this thread. Thanks ladies for sharing all your stories and ideas. OP, wanting a boy does not make you a bad mom! Here's hoping you get what you need (even if it's a little girl first before a little boy and you just don't know it yet). :)
Ps - I had a friend have a boy and then another boy and she cried her eyes out for a LONG time after finding out that #2 was a boy. Her and her husband are too afraid to have another child, lest it be another boy. She loves her boys very much, but she's very open about her disappointment. I don't think she's a bad mother (although I do bug her to try for a third from time to time, haha).
I always thought I would have a girl first, and had kind of just planned on having my baby girl. I am 31 weeks with a boy, and when we first found out, I was pretty disappointed. It has taken a few weeks but now I am actually super excited about having a little boy. You will love having whatever it is, and who knows, maybe you'll be surprised and it will be a boy :)
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I have been having a tough pregnancy (15 weeks along.) Extreme nausea, not able to eat much or even drink water, anemia .. to name a few things. So I have been feeling depressed a lot - although I try and feel happy, because I really am - I mean I wanted to get pregnant and I did and I feel so blessed. I also feel very excited! I am just a big ball of emotions right now.
Anyways - all that aside I have to say everyone tells me I am having a girl. They just guess I am. I have felt like I was having a girl from day one as well. Problem is - and this is why I feel like a horrible mother, I would reeeeeeeeeeeally much rather have a boy. I know I should not think this way and I should be happy with whatever and just feel blessed and hope for a healthy baby... but this is the only place I can be honest. I am really scared of having a girl. I am such a tomboy and just feel like it will be much harder to connect with a little girl. We wont find out the gender until next month. I am just scared that when I hear girl, if I hear girl... I will look and or feel disappointed.
& then I know a few other pregnant females now who all just found out they are having boys and for some reason I feel jealous!
Please help me shake these feelings! I really don't want to feel this way, I want to feel happy just being pregnant and happy with a boy or GIRL! Am I doomed to be a bad mother?!