(Closed) I feel like a snob!

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
9920 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

If people are going to talk about your wedding behind your back, don’t invite them.  Suck it up about your aunt, because she’s family, but why would you want friends who are jerks like that?

Post # 5
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You probably are going to offend others who have had/or having such a wedding you described that you said is “tacky”. 

 

On that note, who the hell cares what others say about your wedding. What matters most that you are marrying the man you love or what others say about your wedding?

Post # 6
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I’m a LI bride and I HATE it. (Although I am IN LOVE with a venue overlooking the sound. It’s out of my price range though). I would totally do a backyard or Knights of Columbus type thing and FI hates the idea. He said he wanted a “normal” wedding. I hate that normal on LI is crazy. 

 

I’ve been to a wedding in a Long Island fire house which was fun. They had a DJ who really made it a dance party. My sister got married outside on the beach and had it catered. A lot of people said it was the best wedding they’ve ever been to. That was about 10K.

 

I think in order to avoid the whole, 30k for 4-hours that is LI weddings, my brother and his wife had an amazing DW wedding in Puerto Rico. It was about 10K and that included their stay for the week. 

 

I think people who are snotty LI wedding lovers are going to be snotty no matter what. If you make it a fun party, many Long Islanders will be relieved to do something different. 

 

Post # 9
Member
864 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@BeeRod527:  Why don’t you just move your wedding date to the fall so it won’t be soo hot out and you’ll get what you want?

Post # 10
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@BeeRod527:  But WHY do you care what others think of where your wedding is held. This is what I don’t get. Who are you trying to impress? Why would it matter, as long as you are marrying the person you love right?  My MOH wedding was held in another state than we live in in a mid size town where it in such a hall and you know what we had a blast.  All that mattered was she married the man she loved. 

I held my reception in a Legion hall in my hometown, I could had it here in the metro area of Minneapolis/St Paul for “nicer” area. It would have made our costs triple of what we paid for. It was not “redneck, or tacky”. 

Honestly you need to plan for what you want not what you think others think of where it is at. If you want it outside than do it outside, if you want it at a venue that others think is just tacky and cheap than dont invite them, if you want it in a grand hotel venue than go for it. Your wedding should reflect who you are not what your guests think

Post # 13
Member
1592 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

If you’re close enough to people who you think may make comments or judge, you can just tell them that it’s what available in that area. One of my friends said a legion hall wedding (on LI) was the most fun. To most people, all that matters is having a good time. 

The rest of the people will get over it. Hopefully you’ll get some of those Long Island style cash gifts!

Post # 15
Member
316 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@peachacid:  +1

 

I don’t believe you need to go into debt just to please family members. It’s your life and one day doens’t seem worth it just so people can find something else to complain about. It’s not how much you spend or where it is, but having people around you who love and support you and your FH. 

It sounds like your guests are being snobby, not you. I’ve been a push-over my entire life and am finally getting the mindset of thinking oh well to those who can’t get their stuff together. 

About the heat: Maybe you can supply paper fans or sun umbrellas? 

Post # 16
Member
9509 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Original and creative can make up for a perceived lack of money or access to certain venues. 

 

That said, I would move to the fall and have a fantastic backyard fall wedding. Eta I see you responded as to why this wont work. Back to drawing board.

 

On a personal note, I get where you are coming from. I grew up around the very wealthy, like top 2 %, and I chose another path, a creative path, over the path everyone wanted for me and expected of me. some of my family think I’ve really screwed up by not going Ivy league and marrying old money like I was supposed to. However, I’m happy. I assume you are happy. 

 

So, hold your head up high and be true to your heart. People will judge you, but that is none of your business. You dont have to .live with their judgments:-)  

 

Also, keep this in mind. In every group, there are rules about what’s tacky. Where I come from, the people who are judging you are tacky, because of that whole new money LI big show thing. Thier idea of tacky is something else. It’s all relative. However, there is nothing more tacky than judging another persons wedding based on the amount of money they could spend or where it was held, IMO. I know that doesn’t help you right now, but it still matters. 

 

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