Post # 1
This is my first post in this section on WB. I am havaing a hard time dealing with this, and really just need somewhere to talk about it.
I have two beautiful little girls, my oldest is almost 4 and my youngest is 19 months. I have always imagined myself with three children, and the past 6 months I have had a terrible case of baby fever. So, naturally, I was pretty excited in November when I got a positive pregnancy test result. Sadly, the excitement was short lived, as I had a miscarriage the week before Christmas.
Dealing with that was very difficult, getting over it has not been easy. I don’t know if/when we will TTC again (this was my third miscarriage).
So, this weekend we went out to celebrate my birthday and the birthday of one of my closest friends, and she announced that she was pregnant with her baby #3. I know I should be so excited, she is an amazing mother, her DH is a great dad, they had been trying for a while and she was getting frustrated. It is great news, but I could not get excited, I actually nearly cried. I just couldn’t stop thinking about myself, the baby that I lost and I couldn’t focus on how great this was for them. It doesn’t help that our other kids and close is age, so we were pregnant together 2 times.
I really want to be able to be happy for her, without feeling jealous or sad. I just do not know how to do that.
Post # 3
@mrsmay07: Oh honey, Iam sorry about your MC, that must have been an awful situation to deal with and even more now that your friend just announced her third pregnancy. I know this is easier said than done, especially coming from someone that has not been pregnant yet, your time to have your third little baby will come and you will continue to be the wonderful mother that you are to your other two kids. It is hard to be happy for your friend because this MC just happened to you. I don’t think you are selfish, you are just hurting and its okay to hurt. Feel better and i will keep my FX for your and your DH.
Post # 4
Cut yourself a little slack. Please don’t give yourself the labels of selfish or jerk simply because you are still grieving.
Post # 5
When I told my best friend from High school that I was expecting (concieved in Dec, but MC in Jan) She was super excited to tell me that she and her husband were ttc and she was in her TWW. We were both excited to be pregnant together, I had my MC before her TWW was over so it was hard for her to call me with the news that she was pregnant.
I am sure that she has put herself in your shoes and knows how she would feel. So she will understand… you take the time that you need. and with time it will be easier for you to be happy for her.
Post # 6
You’re still grieving! Be nice to yourself, you’ll be happy for her eventually you just need some time.
Post # 7
@MrsR4ever: Thank you 🙂
@KH: Thanks, it’s hard to feel like it’s “OK” to still be so upset.
@kamielynn: Thanks, I know she understands, it was hard for me to tell her I was pregnant, because she had been trying and was getting kind of frustrated that it wasn’t happening for her. I’m sorry about your m/c 🙁
@SoobySays: Thank you 🙂
Post # 8
@mrsmay07: I just don’t get that you are upset with her specifically-you are sad and upset about a sucky situation. There is a giant difference. And it is really OK to be upset about the situation!
Post # 9
I can totally relate to this. I had my second miscarriage just before Christmas and DH and I have no children.
Last week my SIL who already has one child called to tell us her “exciting” news – she’s pregnant again. DH was on the phone with her luckily because I burst into tears and had to leave the room. I was really shocked by my own reaction…I wasn’t expecting that! I love kids and I love being an aunty. I felt like such a jerk because I just couldn’t get excited about my SIL’s pregnancy news. 🙁
I took some time to think about it later once the tears had subsided. I came to the conclusion that it isn’t that I’m not happy for my SIL, it’s just that when I hear stories of other people getting pregnant easy and having problem-free pregnancies, it scares the &*$% out of me. It makes me feel defective and broken. How can other people just get pregnant and stay pregnant so easily? I think the way we are feeling (angry, jealous, etc.) is just part of the grieving process.