(Closed) I feel like a total witch-with-a-b……. :(

posted 7 years ago in Rings
  • poll: Am I horrible? And what should I do, if anything?
    Yep, yer a bitch! : (24 votes)
    9 %
    No I'd feel the same way. : (73 votes)
    26 %
    I'd have told him straight up! : (15 votes)
    5 %
    Keep your mouth shut and try to get over it : (34 votes)
    12 %
    Gently tell him now : (129 votes)
    47 %
    Other (please explain) : (2 votes)
    1 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1124 posts
    Bumble bee

    I totally get what you’re saying. Personally, I would be a little upset if FH went with a moissy or gemstone or asha because, well, I wanted a diamond. I wouldn’t correct people either if they assumed it was a diamond. I know he bought it because he loves you, but you aren’t a bitch for feeling disappointed. I think you need to discuss this with your FH even if you think it might hurt his feelings. Not everyone loves a simulant and not everyone loves a diamond. It’s a personal preference.

    Post # 4
    Member
    3709 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2011

    I voted to gently tell him now. I don’t have any issues with other people wanting non-diamond rings but I wanted a diamond. If you want a diamond, and are willing to get a smaller carat size in order to have it, why not let him know? I don’t think it’s knocking other ring choices, just being honest about it not being your preference. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1046 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I think the issue really is that he chose to do something non-traditional but didn’t run it by you. I have a blue sapphire and LOVE it, but my husband dropped some hints, asked some probing questions from me and found out that I loved the idea of a sapphire so it was no surprise.

    He probably will be upset and there may not be an easy solution. Perhaps even if you talk to him about it and his reasons and how he would handle it, you’ll feel differently about the ring.

    Post # 6
    Member
    550 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Just to clarify- You love the ring, it is beautiful, and the problem you have is knowing it’s not a traditional and not wanting to tell people? Are you embarassed that it is not a real diamond?

    I just don’t understand why you feel bad about lying to people but do it anyway.

    Post # 7
    Member
    1041 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    i would tell him gently now. Its only going to cause problems if its bothering you so much now.

    Post # 8
    Member
    764 posts
    Busy bee

    I would have been upset and probably would have said something straight up. Im traditional and find the presentation of a CZ offensive if it’s not something the woman wants. I know that’s not politically correct, but you asked. I think the average person would have been upset.

    Post # 10
    Member
    102 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    Honestly, who are the 4 people that voted “yep youre a bitch”??! How frikin rude!!

    She has a right to be disappointed. I probably would have been too. That does not make someone a bitch. Jeez..

    Post # 11
    Member
    1124 posts
    Bumble bee

    @miss.squigglesworth: Seriously, this is a tough spot. If you say something, you’ll probably hurt his feelings. But really, for the life of me I can’t figure out why a man would buy a woman an “alternative” stone if he didn’t know it was what she wanted or had expressed interest in. Traditionally, a man proposes with a diamond and that’s what you expected. There’s nothing wrong with that.

    Post # 14
    Member
    1124 posts
    Bumble bee

    @miss.squigglesworth: Hmm. Poor guy, he’s so proud. If I had an issue with my ering, I’d say something to FH. I’m the one who has to wear it FOREVER. If you can accept a non-diamond ring and are able to tell people it isn’t a diamond if they ask then don’t say a word to your FH. If you think you’re going to always lie because you’re embarassed (for you or him) that it isn’t a diamond then I really think you need to say something. I’m sure he’ll be disappointed, but in the end you know he wants you to be happy.

    Post # 15
    Member
    825 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: July 2010

    You have every right to feel that way. I knew I wanted a diamond and bc that was the one thing I’ve wanted my whole life, DH knew I wanted a diamond…as large as he could get it;) haha but your FI is soooo sweet sounding and he really didn’t know. Both of my previous bf’s including DH just assumed every girl wanted a diamond as big as they could get. If it really bothers you, you should be open about it with your FI. Tell him gently how you feel and that you LOVE your ring and what it means to you and the promise and love but you had your heart set on a real diamond. Hopefully he will understand. Best of luck, let us know what you decide.

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