(Closed) I feel like an idiot..

posted 6 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
509 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2002

I feel your pain.  I’ve been married almost 11 years and look back and regret so much.  I was going to do a 10th anniversary vow renewal or party, but then felt kind of odd about it, especially since alot of my friends just recently got married (and I wasn’t that young when I got married…I was 26).

Maybe you can plan a one year anniversary party as a way to celebrate and as an excuse to plan something again, and do things you want? 

Post # 4
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

It probably won’t help, but I want to let you know that you’re not alone! My wedding day went pretty much the same way and it feels like only after the fact do I realize that certain aspects were more important to me than I initially thought. It is hugely disappointing and I still do feel kind of sad about it sometimes.

Just try to focus on any positive moments from the day and forget about the rest. Don’t feel obligated to hang wedding photos or anything like that if it makes you feel bad about that day.


Post # 5
2616 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

i have regrets on not getting photos of the family i wanted. i think the reason i have for these regrets is i have 2 photos of an uncle and he wasnt the main focus in the photo ( he was just in a back ground of something else going on. and he died a month a 2 days after the wedding. )  vent away.

Post # 7
2247 posts
Buzzing bee

I know how you feel.  I have been sort of talking about it a lot on the boards, lately, but my wedding was not how I envisioned it.  I was blissfully happy in that moment, but now that the dust has settled, I can’t help but reminisce on everything that went wrong.  I am resentful of certain other people too, and I can’t get past the toxicity.

Post # 8
1414 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Oh goodness…I hear you!

Soooo many things went “wrong” at our wedding…..

I have about 1000000000000 regrets.

But I am trying to focus ONLY on the things that I am happy with.

Not much of advice for you but just know that you are not alone feeling this way.

Post # 9
399 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Wow I thought I was alone on this boat. I actually thought I was the perfect DIY bride and prolonged a lot of things. Decided to do my own flowers and was suppose to have 14 pomanders and had only 6. Church decor was not how i wanted it since they would not let me go help put. I was short 4 reception decor for tables and my makeup artist was recoperating from a hangover so i got to my wedding 2 hrs late. My mom had to jump in to help and was not able to get her hair done like she planned to. Guests left the reception before the dj could get the crowd going. Never took pics with my guests and forgot to take a family pic But through it all I had fun and later on you will probably look back and kind of chuckle about things that happen. So you are not alone and when you decided to renew your vows then make that one a memorable one. Dont kill yourself over it cause I have seen worse like fights at wedding, venues being totally trashed by some drunk so like all the other bees say take the good and throw out the bad.

Post # 10
2981 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I understand how you feel. Looking back, I think I would have chosen a different hairstyle, different dress, different look all together, DEFINTELY would have hired a real, professional photographer instead of the talented neighbor we had. She got some nice shots, but didn’t do a great job with a lot of important ones (first kiss was blurry, ring exchange had DH’s head cut off in all of them, some of the processing was cheesy). I would have done my centerpieces differently. I wouldn’t have worn my hairpiece or had the BMs wear theirs. They were a lot larger than I pictured them being. See, so much regret. I think the wedding world has MUCH to do with it, b/c the day I got married, I thought I looked gorgeous, and now, I just feel meh.

On a personal level, My Maid/Matron of Honor cut me out of her life 21 days before the wedding, so in hindsight, I wouldn’t have chosen her to be involved at all. DH’s best man/ cousin became addicted to drugs and didn’t even show up to the wedding after lying to us that he got his suit and would be there.

But on my wedding day I was the happiest I’ve even been and am coming up on my 1 year anniversary with the most wonderful husband I could ever hope for. My daddy was alive back then to walk me down the aisle and I’ll always be grateful for that.

Post # 11
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Well at least you got married to the right guy 🙂

Post # 13
3689 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I didn’t get all the pictures I wanted, my hair and makeup weren’t what I envisioned, my “grand entrance” wasn’t very grand because I was afraid of falling down the stairs, and I have dress regret.  You’re definitely not alone.

Post # 14
9627 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@TopazWedding:    ((HUGS!))  Sad for you.  I wish you all the best. 

Are you really not sure for sure you married the right guy?  Being upset about the wedding not living up to your wishes is understandable, but your husband certainly should be living up to them.  Concerned Bee here.

Btw, I thought you looked lovely.

Post # 15
871 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

This makes me nervous…I’m also a bride who “doesn’t care” I just made choices so I wouldn’t have to make choices anymore and made choices that made life easier for others- not the choices that I really want. My wedding is in 9 days, I just want it to be over so I can stop making phone calls/thinking ab details/watch what I eat. However, I’m pretty sure when its over I’ll wish it was different.

Post # 16
7609 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

This thread makes me feel better.  There is so much pressure to have “the best day of your life” these days that its hard when not everything goes how you wanted it to.

I advise people to make a list of all the things that went RIGHT and only look at the pictures you LOVE.  It helps.  I have a friend who hated her wedding and she said that time really does heal.

ETA: Were you kidding about the “right guy” part?

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