(Closed) I feel like an ingrate…

posted 6 years ago in Rings
Post # 3
Member
2578 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

Because this is about wanting LARGER I would tread very lightly.

I know you did not ask for opinions, but your e-ring is very lovely!

Post # 4
Member
1071 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

First of all i think your ring is incredibly beautiful! I would love to have your ring.  You cant base how you feel about your ring on comparing it to others.  Unless you’re a billionaire someone will always have a bigger diamond.  I think your ring is goregeous and you should be happy with it.

Post # 5
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

maybe he couldn’t afford it.  the price of diamonds is astronomical right now!

Post # 6
Member
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Was the ring he bought all he could afford?  It may hurt his pride if you tell him you want a bigger stone, and he can’t afford it. 

Post # 7
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

ps we are date twins!

Post # 8
Member
228 posts
Helper bee

Can he afford something larger and would he want to spend money on that kind of thing?  Because it looks to me like he got the style you asked for, just a more modest version.  If you want big maybe see about getting a CZ or moissy?  I would NOT just tell him a bigger center diamond is more “your style.” Or you can upgrade in the future.

Post # 9
Member
6745 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh man, I would not ever post a question like this on these boards.  You’re about to get a bunch of very angry women posting about how you’re not appreciative and how the size doesn’t matter and how it’s a gift and you should love what you got and how the national average is something under 1ct or whatever and BLAH BLAH..

Here’s what I think.  First, congratulations on getting engaged!  How open of a relationship do you have with your FI?  Have you guys ever told each other in the past that you didn’t like gifts before?  What kind of reaction was received?  Do you have any idea what your FI’s budget is and whether he could even afford something bigger? Would you consider waiting for an upgrade in the future?  Would you consider a different gemstone to get something bigger (white sapphire, moissanite, etc)? 

Personally, I have a very open rel w/ my FI.  I can tell him if I like or don’t like something b/c what is most important to him is that I’m happy and vice versa.  And sometimes, as much as you know a person, you just get it wrong.  But, not everyone is like that – some people get very offended.  Some guys spend a lot of time an effort and energy and money into buying the perfect ring and it’s a big deal and it’s really hurtful to be told it’s “too small.” 

Only you know your FI and your relationship.  Only you know how your FI would handle being told it’s too small. 

I would just be careful because you might hurt him.  And, I’m sure you’re going to get some negative respones from some bees here, so – in advance, I warn you to just ignore them and move on.

Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
580 posts
Busy bee

I would let it be. It will probably just upset him and hurt his feelings if you say you’re not happy with the size of the stone. 

Post # 11
Member
1172 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

I second all the bees…Be careful. He asked you what you liked and he gave you what you asked for except for size. Guys can get very defensive if you say you dont like something especially when they asked and got you what you wanted. 

Maybe he couldnt afford it? Maybe he didnt want to have such a huge expense that he is in debt. Besides whats really important? The size of the stone or the sentiment behind it?

Post # 13
Member
9825 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Is it a question of money? I would love to be wearing a whole lot of jewelry, but it’s expensive.

Post # 14
Member
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

You’re not a bad person because you want a larger diamond. The only problem is diamonds are EXTREMELY EXPENSIVE. The diamond center stone in that second pic looks like a 2 ct. You’re talking +$20,000 for a nice quality rock at that carat size. That’s an insane amount of money that is fine to spend on a diamond if you can afford it. However, I’m assuming your guy got you the size he did because that’s what he could afford at the moment. Honestly, I wouldn’t say anything. You can always talk about an upgrade at the 5 year mark or something, but to say you want a bigger center stone right now is going to be an arrow to his heart, and his check book may not even be able to get it for you. Trust me, don’t open this pandora box. If he could have afforded a bigger stone, he probably would have gotten you a bigger stone.

I also think your ring is very pretty. And kudos to your fiancé for actually listening to what you said you want and getting you really an exact replica of the ring you wanted, at a center stone he can afford. 

Post # 16
Member
1868 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

@ecmsmile:  Can he afford to get you a bigger diamond? If not, would you be willing to put your own money in so that you can have a size you are happier with?

The topic ‘I feel like an ingrate…’ is closed to new replies.

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