(Closed) I feel like FI is getting cold feet.

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
4824 posts
Honey bee

I think this is normal and each of these need to be addressed as different problems, but it is overwhelming to think of them as one- which is where he is

1) The “fun” aspect- fun is not determined by money spent. Remind him that. Ask him what he thinks will make it more fun. Maybe its something specific and you can do that.

Your wedding is still far off, can you have both parents over for a “get to know you dinner”? so they have met?

2) Public affection. Ask him if he thinks your relationship is not as strong, would he feel its stronger by more PDA? Maybe the lack of PDA to him is a symptom. Ask him specifically what he would like and try to work on it. 

3) Mortgage- no one said you have to get one right away. Remind him that you will only buy when you are both comfortable

4) Kids- see marriage. Also discuss ways you two will ensure to have a “life” outside of kids when you have them. Going into it with a plan can make it a lot less scary.

 

Good Luck! I wouldnt see this as cold feet so much as a great time to talk about things to make your future even better and stronger.

Post # 5
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think about this scary stuff all the time! I am going to assume everyone does. I think commitment and marriage are scary concepts. But i don’t think that means he wants to call off anything. 

Give him a day. Go do something fun together! 

Post # 7
Member
1150 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@MademoiselleL: In relationships, we have to keep telling our partners what we need. Don’t freak out, doubts are normal but listen to him. Hold his hand lots tonight! Look at him adoringly (try to look natural when you do this!) And have fun!

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