(Closed) I feel like I asked the WORST people to be my bridesmaids!

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
814 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

i had simialr problems.. i picked 5 girls.. one fell off the wagon right off the get-go(my moh), and i ended up making her just a bridesmaid, my sister lives across the country, i had one go mia the weeks leading up to the wedding and actually never showed up(haven’t heard from her either), one lives out of state and i had to ride her like a wild horse to keep her in line(she tried to ditch the bach party for a concert)my bridesmaid turned moh was the only one who really helped at all.. she did everything… girls suck and don’t realize how important it is(even though my original moh is married, she acted like i had lost my mind everytime i asked for something!!) best wishes!

Post # 4
Member
46131 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Weddings can certainly cause stress in relationships.Basically you have to decide that their friendship is paramount and let the rest go. You probably won’t be as interested in their weddings either.

Many people have no idea of the expectations when they are asked and accept a bridal party position.

I would suggest you do not discuss any of the bridal party members with other people in the bridal party. That will stop the miscommunications.

If your bridesmaids aren’t stepping up to keep in touch or offer to help, phone or email them with specific tasks you would like help with.

Post # 5
Member
140 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I have 6 girls in total and no MOH (I couldn’t pick I love all the girls so much and we all usually hang out together) Plus I am a very independent person, and a little OCD when it comes to making things, and setting up and organizing things. So pretty my girls are just there to have a great time with me and that’s all I ask. Three of my girls offer to help with everything and come shopping with me for wedding related stuff whenever, and honestly I couldn’t ask of anything more from them, because they are all there, and I almost feel bad for not having actual jobs for them to do. But they all know they have the bach party, and the night before the wedding as we are all staying at my uncles house.

Post # 6
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I hear ya!  I think people in general can be disappointing, but why can’t they just pull together for you when you really need them to act decently?  I am trying to walk the line between accepting my BM as they are, and voicing my needs.  Unfortunately, our Best Man is the kind of alcoholic that makes everyone uncomfortable.  I didn’t realize before we asked him, and I have often thought- how can I get out of this?

Post # 7
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

PS- I had one girl from college who I thought had been my best friend- not even respond when I asked her to be involved in the wedding.  Not even respond?  Who does that?  I guess it was for the best, but come on!

Post # 8
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I have entered and survived bridesmaid hell. I say that you address it now very clearly- it will only get worse from here if you don’t.

Weddings bring out the best and worst in people. Ultimately, I had to decide that the way two of my childhood friends and MOHs were treating me was unacceptable. It actually had very little to do with the wedding, though I’m sure the wedding brought a lot of issues to a head. I just decided that a friend would never treat another friend like this, and that the people who stand with you are supposed to be your closest and most trusted friends- keep that in mind above all else!

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